Lightning Puns (15)
1. I wanted to make a joke about lightning, but I didn’t want to attract too much current interest.
2. The lightning was extremely bright. It was an illuminating experience.
3. Did you hear about the electrician who got hit by lightning? He was shocked.
4. I tried catching lightning in a bottle to start a spark with my date. Needless to say, I was not very bright.
5. Lightning is so scary! It gives me quite a bolt.
6. My friend got hit by lightning. He’s currently not himself at the moment.
7. I saw lightning strike a clock tower today. It was quite shocking…now the clock is set to thunder o’clock.
8. I wanted to make a lightning detection device, but the idea just struck me.
9. Did you hear about the restaurant on the top of the skyscraper? It has lightning fast service.
10. I’m writing a book about lightning. So far it’s only a draft.
11. I entered my lightning photos into a contest, but they weren’t accepted because they were too shocking.
12. Getting hit by lightning would be quite the electrifying experience.
13. When it starts to storm, I go stand outside with a lightning rod. I find it quite enlightening.
14. The lightning was so bright, it turned night into day in a flash.
15. I wanted to catch a lightning bolt in a net, but the idea just struck me as a bit absurd.
Lightning One-Liners (15)
16. That lightning strike came out of the blue!
17. The lightning was as frightening as a bolt from the blue.
18. After getting hit by lightning, my hair was standing on end.
19. That lightning lit up the sky brighter than daylight.
20. When lightning strikes, make sure you don’t end up grounded.
21. Lightning: Mother Nature’s fireworks.
22. Lightning may strike the same place twice, but only fools wait around to find out.
23. Quick as a flash, loud as thunder – that lightning struck quick as lightning.
24. That was a real bolt from the blue. I nearly jumped out of my skin!
25. A blast of lightning turned night into day for an instant.
26. The lightning bolt was so close I could smell the ozone.
27. After that lightning flash, my vision was spotted for minutes.
28. Never shelter under a tree during a lightning storm, unless you’re tired of living!
29. That lightning bolt came down on us like the finger of God.
30. When lightning zapped my modem, my WiFi went down faster than a flash.
Best Lightning Jokes (20)
31. What do you call a frozen lightning bolt? A light sickle!
32. What do you get when you cross a lightning bolt with a tractor? Shock and awe!
33. What did the lightning say to the thunder? You’re too loud, let’s keep it down to a low rumble.
34. Why are lightning bolts so lazy? They like to take the path of least resistance.
35. My friend annoyed me by pretending to get struck by lightning over and over. The first few times were shocking but after a while, it just became conducted behavior.
36. Did you hear about the hit new restaurant called Lightning Rods? People say it attracts a lot of buzz but you might get shocked at how expensive it is. Still, critics say the food is electrifying.
37. Did you hear about the electrician who got struck by lightning while working on power lines? When they found him, he was just dangling there, shocked. His coworkers tried to resuscitate him but no current was flowing through him anymore so he didn’t make it. Now his family is seeking to charge the power company for negligence.
38. Why don’t elephants get struck by lightning? Because they have good conductors on their feet.
39. Did you hear about the electrician who went out during a storm to check the power lines? He saw a downed wire sparking on the wet ground, so he went over to investigate. Just as he approached, ZAP a huge lightning bolt came down and charged him up to 10,000 volts! His clothes were smoking when the ambulance arrived. He survived but has some pretty wild hair now.
40. What do you call a doc who just barely passed medical school? A semi-conductor.
41. I went camping with my friend during a storm, even though I knew it was a bad idea. Sure enough, lightning struck his tent and knocked him out cold! I ran over and unzipped the tent to check on him. He was still breathing but his clothes were badly singed. I tried reviving him – “Hey man, are you OK?” but he just lay there, dazed. After a few minutes he stirred and weakly murmured “Watt happened?”
42. Why are spiderwebs never hit by lightning? Because they are fantastic conductors!
43. What do you call someone who is addicted to getting struck by lightning? A shock-aholic!
44. Why did the lightning go to therapy? It had a lot of unresolved charge.
45. Why was the lightning bolt sent to the principal’s office? It was caught conducting itself improperly.
46. How does the ocean greet the beach? With waves and heavy lightning.
47. My friend threw a wild party during a thunderstorm, with a live band and outdoor dance floor. The drummer was playing an electrifying solo when lightning struck his cymbals! The music suddenly stopped as everyone ran for cover from the hazardous voltage.
48. I told my electrician friend to be careful in the storm, since he’s likely to get hit by lightning on the job. But he just laughed – he said “I’m far too well grounded for that!”
49. What do you say to comfort a friend who was struck by lightning? “It could have been worse – at least you didn’t get tongued!”
50. Why was the battery depressed? It was down on its charge.
