75 Hysterical Chili Jokes

Chili Puns

1. I accidentally added too much chili powder to my recipe. Boy, was my face red!
2. My friend made a big pot of chili but forgot to add beans. It was a no-pint chili.
3. I entered my special turkey chili into a cookoff contest. Sadly, it didn’t win first prize. But it did get an honorable mintion.
4. My chili is so spicy, it feels like my mouth is on fire! Thankfully, I keep a fire extinguisher handy to put it out.
5. I like to eat chili on cold days because it warms me up fast. You could say it’s chili today but hot tamale.
6. I added extra chili peppers to my recipe hoping it would spice things up. But instead, it just got a little chili out of hand.
7. My friend’s chili was so mild, it didn’t have any kick to it. I told him “You gotta spice things up if you want to enter a cookoff!”
8. I entered my chili in a cookoff. The judges took one bite and broke out in a sweat. I’d say it was a spicy success!
9. My chili recipe is top secret. If I told you how I made it, I’d have to chili you.
10. I accidentally used sweet paprika instead of chili powder. Now my chili tastes more like a dessert than a main course!

Chili One-Liners

11. My chili’s so hot, you’ll be sweating bullets after one bite!
12. This chili’s got more kick than a bucking bronco!
13. Hope you’ve got a fire extinguisher handy for my five-alarm chili!
14. Chili today, hot tamale! That’s how I like my chili – smoking hot!
15. Think you can handle the heat? Try my chili – it separates the men from the boys!
16. Feeling chilly? My chili will warm you up fast – it’s red hot!
17. Careful! My chili packs a punch – it’s not for the faint of heart!
18. Better have 911 on speed dial when eating my chili – it’s dangerously hot!
19. Like to live life on the edge? Try my chili – it’ll blow your socks off!
20. This chili is so spicy it’ll melt your face off – enter at your own risk!

Best Chili Jokes

21. My friend Joe loved spicy food, so I invited him over one night to try my five-alarm chili. After one spoonful, tears started streaming down his face. After two spoonfuls, he was sweating bullets. And after three spoonfuls, he started frantically guzzling water. “So what do you think?” I asked. “It’s perfect!” Joe said with a pained smile. “It’s the hottest chili I’ve ever tasted!” I was so proud of myself for finally making a chili hot enough for Joe. But the next day he called and sheepishly admitted he’d ended up in the ER with heartburn after eating my chili. I felt terrible – but also couldn’t help laughing. I guess I’d succeeded in making it as spicy as possible, even if Joe’s stomach couldn’t handle the heat! Now I call the recipe “5-Alarm Chili: Eat at Your Own Risk.”
22. My neighbor Frank loves entering his chili into cookoffs, but it’s always too mild and never wins. I decided to help him out. The night before the next cookoff, I snuck into his kitchen and added a bunch of ghost peppers to his pot of chili. Frank was so excited when his chili won first prize the next day. But a few hours later, he showed up at my door looking miserable. It turns out the judges all had to be hospitalized after trying his chili! Frank was disqualified and banned from ever entering another cookoff. And I learned a valuable lesson – sometimes it’s better not to meddle with other people’s recipes!
23. When my friend Joanna invited me over for Cincinnati chili, I wasn’t sure what to expect. The chili she served looked nothing like the stuff I make at home. It was more like a meat sauce poured over spaghetti, topped with kidney beans, onions, and shredded cheese. After one bite, my taste buds were confused – it was sweet, spicy, and savory all at once. “This is chili?” I asked Joanna uncertainly. She laughed and explained that Cincinnati chili has its own unique flavor profile. The more I ate, the more I liked it. I never would have thought to put chili over spaghetti, but the combo just worked. Joanna converted me into a Cincinnati chili lover that day. I still make my regular chili at home, but now I order Cincinnati style every chance I get – it’s chili like I’ve never tasted before!
24. My wife Angela loves hot food, so I decided to make a special batch of five-alarm chili for her birthday. I added every spicy pepper in the pantry – jalapeños, habaneros, ghost peppers – until my eyes were watering from the fumes. That night, Angela took one bite and her face turned red. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she gulped water. “It’s perfect!” she choked out. I was so proud of myself for making it hot enough even for Angela. But in the middle of the night I was woken up by violent vomiting. Angela was sick as a dog – my chili had destroyed her stomach! I felt awful about it. The next morning, she weakly said “Happy birthday to me.” I apologized profusely, but Angela just laughed. “Don’t worry about it!” she said. “This was the best chili I’ve ever had – even if it did try to kill me. I can’t wait for the leftovers!” Now there’s a woman after my own heart. But next time, maybe I’ll dial back the spiciness just a little.
25. My little nephew Tommy loves chili but can’t handle anything spicy. Last time I babysat him, I decided to make a special mild batch just for him. While the chili simmered, Tommy kept asking “Is it ready yet?” Finally, it was finished and I dished him up a bowl. Tommy took one bite and his eyes went wide. He fanned his mouth and gulped his milk, tears running down his cheeks. What went wrong? Turns out, I had accidentally used hot sausage instead of mild. I felt terrible for burning poor Tommy’s mouth! But to my surprise, after he recovered, Tommy shyly asked for another bowl. “It’s really good!” he said with a sniffle. The next time I babysat, he specifically requested “Tommy Torcher chili.” I still make it mild, but now I sneak in just a little spice for his growing taste buds. Gotta start them young on good chili!
26. When my girlfriend said she’d never had chili before, I was horrified. “That’s unacceptable!” I told Sarah. “You’re coming to my place tonight and I’m making you my famous turkey chili.” I tossed in onions, peppers, spices, and extra chili powder – enough to make Sarah break a sweat. But when I served her a steaming bowl, Sarah took a tentative bite and said, “Really? This is chili?” Uh oh. Turns out she hated spicy food and had been expecting something mild. My extra fiery chili was way too hot for Sarah’s virgin tongue. She actually started hiccuping after a few bites! I felt awful, but Sarah graciously drank lots of water and insisted she loved the flavors underneath the heat. Next time, I’ll have to remember to warn newbie chili eaters before exposing their taste buds to the fiery wonders of my secret recipe! I may have scared Sarah off spicy foods for life.