Wedding Puns (25)
1. I heard the groom got cold feet before the wedding. Luckily, his bride gave him a nice pair of socks to warm them up.
2. The bride was running late to the wedding. I guess you could say she was taking her sweet time down the aisle.
3. The wedding cake was 5 tiers tall. I guess you could say it reached new heights.
4. The bridesmaids were arguing over whose dress was the prettiest. I guess you could call it a bridal dress dispute.
5. The groom accidentally spilled red wine on his white tuxedo shirt. Talk about already staining their marriage!
6. The ring bearer was very short. I guess you could say he came up a little short.
7. The bride tripped walking down the aisle. I guess she really fell for her groom.
8. The couple wrote their own vows. But the groom’s were quite short. I guess you could say he really meant to keep it brief.
9. The flower girl sneezed as she tossed the petals down the aisle. I guess you could say something just wasn’t rosy.
10. The groom smeared cake on his bride’s face at the reception. I guess he really takes the cake.
11. The couple had their first dance to an acoustic version of their favorite pop song. I guess you could say it was quite the unplugged performance.
12. The officiant kept stumbling over the couple’s tricky last name during the ceremony. I guess it really tied his tongue.
13. The couple wrote their own vows but ended up repeating a lot of the same promises as each other. I guess great minds really do think alike.
14. The groom’s grandma kept heckling their officiant to “speak up.” I guess you could say she really wanted him to pronounce them man and wife.
15. The ring bearer dropped the rings during the ceremony. I guess that’s one way to drop the ball.
16. The flower girl was playing games on her phone during the ceremony. I guess you could say she was virtually present.
17. The bridesmaids were dancing so hard at the reception they almost fell over. I guess you could say they really swept themselves off their feet.
18. The groom accidentally smashed the wedding cake cutting it. I guess he was getting a head start on messing up their marriage.
19. The couple had their first kiss before being pronounced husband and wife. I guess they were eager to seal the deal with a kiss.
20. The ring bearer was playing with the rings like hula hoops. I guess that kid was really going in circles.
21. The flower girl was chasing the ring bearer down the aisle. I guess you could say it was an aisle chase.
22. The bridesmaids were giggling nonstop while the couple said their vows. I guess they thought the ceremony was a real hoot.
23. The couple wrote their own vows but they turned out a bit cheesy. I guess you could say their love is pretty gouda.
24. The couple set off alarms trying to cut the wedding cake. I guess you could say it was truly an alarm-ing moment.
25. The groom danced so hard at the reception he ripped his pants. I guess you could say he really tore up the dance floor.
Wedding One-Liners (29)
26. Asked how they met, the groom responded: “Tinder.” The bride’s death stare could have lit their unity candle.
27. Priest: “If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Groom’s ex: “I object!” Awkward…
28. Bride’s vows: “I promise to love you unconditionally.” Groom’s vows: “Ditto.”
29. As vows are exchanged, flower girl loudly asks “When’s lunch?”
30. Bride trips walking down aisle. Groom jokes: “Falling for me already eh?”
31. Groom smears cake on bride’s face. She smears it right back. Possibly the healthiest marriage ever.
32. In vows groom promises to “cherish bride.” Autocorrect changes it to “relish.” A tasty marriage ahead.
33. Groom cries throughout ceremony. Vows apparently too moving for him.
34. Bride’s garter hits grouchy grandma right in the face during toss. Wedding highlight.
35. Flower girl sneezes and showers front row guests in petals. Floral infection.
36. Bridesmaid busts out raunchy moves during hokey pokey. Not your grandma’s wedding reception.
37. Groom does the worm across dance floor in ripped pants. Dignity demolished.
38. Uncle overdoes signature dance move: the sprinkler. Chaos ensues.
39. Groom gets drunk, confuses bridesmaids for his bride. Awkward dancing follows.
40. Couple holds hands so tight they can’t get rings on. Ceremony delay a real gripper.
41. Best man speech filled with inside jokes no one gets. Crickets.
42. Bride throws bouquet, nearly knocks out grandma. Close call.
43. Groom drops ring during ceremony. Best man picks up wrong band. Hilarity ensues.
44. Slips on dance floor lead to epic wedding wipeouts. Surprisingly fun.
45. Bride’s ex tries to crash reception, eats cake anyway. Bold move.
46. Garter toss goes rogue, bride’s grandpa catches it. Cue raucous laughter.
47. Couple smashes cake in each other’s faces. Wedding photos capture true love.
48. Uncle trying to impress bridesmaids busts out worm dance move but throws out his back. Wedding highlight.
49. Bride trips and faceplants into wedding cake. Laughter makes embarrassment tolerable.
50. Groom’s toast is just the word “nice” repeated 80 times. Interesting speech tactic.
51. Couple holds hands so tight rings won’t fit. Wedded grip achieved.
52. Groom drops ring during vows, entire wedding party scrambles to find it. Unity achieved.
53. Best man’s speech compares marriage to prison. Promise of everlasting love made.
54. Flower girl whips phone out halfway down aisle, everyone tries not to laugh. Child of her generation.
Best Wedding Jokes (33)
55. The maid of honor raised her glass to give a toast but had a little too much champagne and ended up giving a rambling, giggly speech about the bride’s most embarrassing moments instead of saying something heartfelt. The guests loved it though—it really broke the ice at the reception!
56. The officiant showed up late to the wedding and kept calling the groom by the wrong name during the entire ceremony, despite the bride’s frustrated corrections. I guess you could say it was a completely unofficially official wedding!
57. The flower girl insisted on pulling each petal off the flowers in her basket and flicking them dramatically down the aisle one by one. The long suffering ring bearer kept glaring at her in annoyance the whole time while trying not to laugh.
58. The bride tripped on her way down the aisle and face planted right into the groom, who caught her in his arms. “Falling for you already I see!” he joked, lightening the mood. All the guests erupted into laughter and applause—it was the perfect icebreaker for the ceremony!
59. The musically challenged best man decided to sing an original song he composed for his toast—despite having zero singing ability. After a few unbearable off-key verses, the groomsman next to him pretended to get a phone call and started loudly talking over the singing. Everyone cracked up laughing, and the musical best man was in on the joke too—thank goodness!
60. The ring bearer got bored halfway down the aisle and plopped down right on the floor, refusing to get up and finish his job. The clever bridesmaids started walking down the aisle around him while shaking their bouquets playfully at him to get him to follow along. It worked like a charm, and the guests all applauded at the clever save.
61. Right after the groom kissed the bride, one of the flower girls yelled “MY TURN!” and planted a big smooch right on the groom’s face! The photo captured the bride’s shocked laughter perfectly.
62. The couple’s first dance was interrupted when the groom’s pants split right down the back as he dipped his bride. He hammed it up, pretending to do a tango with the flapping fabric while everyone roared. Thank goodness he was a good sport!
63. The officiant got halfway through pronouncing the couple “man and wife” when a huge clap of thunder boomed, scaring everyone half to death. Talk about dramatic timing!
64. As the groom went to sweep the bride’s garter off with his teeth, his crafty groomsmen had switched it out for a giant slingshot garter rigged to snap him in the face instead. The silly prank captured everyone’s laughter perfectly on video.
65. The maid of honor gave a toast so moving and heartfelt that she started crying and couldn’t finish reading it. So the bride rushed up and hugged her, and all the guests raised their glasses in a tearful toast, finishing it for her. Not a dry eye in the house!
66. The couple decorated their getaway car, but the shaving cream and streamers made it impossible for the groom to see as he drove away. He rear-ended the topiary at the end of the drive while everyone cheered them on—quite the memorable exit!
67. The couple wrote their own vows but the groom was so overcome with emotion he could barely get through them without breaking down. So his bride just hugged him and read his vows for him—not a dry eye in the house!
68. The flower girl was obsessed with dumping her petals over every inch of the aisle, leaving none for the actual vows. The bride just laughed and scooped some up to toss in the air for their big exit kiss. Too adorable!
69. Right after their kiss the beaming newlyweds realized the groom had smeared her red lipstick all over his mouth and chin. Their hysterical laughter as she wiped it off was a wedding photo for the ages!
70. The couple smashed cake right in each other’s mouths, but the groom’s piece was way too big and got everywhere. He ended up looking like a frosting snowman in all the photos thanks to his blushing bride!
71. The best man’s toast compared marriage to a prison sentence with humor, but the mic cut out right before his heartwarming ending about finding true love. Amazingly the joke still landed perfectly with the captive wedding audience!
72. The groom’s prankster groomsmen gave a fake best man toast full of cheesy jokes and exaggerated stories about his wild single days. The crowd was howling—especially when his real best man took the mic to deliver a truly thoughtful speech!
73. The bride and all her bridesmaids did a perfectly choreographed dance for the groom at the reception. It brought the house down…until the groomsmen tried the same dance and completely botched it! Hilarious contrast.
74. The emotional groom was a sobbing mess from the second he saw his bride, but it set the most lighthearted, loving tone for the vows. Everyone agrees they’re the happiest couple alive.
75. The ring bearer proudly roared “the rings!” when the officiant asked for them…then sheepishly admitted he didn’t actually have them when the officiant tried to take them. Whoops!
76. The flower girl decided to lie down and make flower angels the entire length of the aisle instead of tossing petals. The photos of the grinning bride stepping over her are priceless!
77. The bride and groom kept cracking each other up with inside jokes under their breath during the vows. Their giddy joy had everyone smiling ear to ear!
78. The best man pulled out props and costumes for an elaborate, cheesy toast that had everyone howling. But he ended it with a sincere tribute to the couple’s true love—perfection!
79. The groom was reduced to happy tears when his blushing bride sang a rendition of their favorite love song instead of traditional vows. Guests needed tissues too—so sweet!
80. The officiant’s microphone cut out mid-ceremony, forcing him to shout the vows hoarsely. The couple’s delighted laughter set the laid-back, fun tone for the day!
81. The flower girl decided to pelt guests with petals instead of tossing them down the aisle, triggering laughter and pretend fights from the crowd. What a sport!
82. The bride and groom kept making funny faces at each other trying to get the other one to crack up during the vows. Guests could feel their playful connection.
83. The best man did hilarious impersonations of the groom throughout his toast, having everyone roaring with laughter. But he ended on a serious note about true love.
84. The couple wrote their own vows, but the groom’s silly jokes and the bride’s witty retorts had everyone laughing joyfully. Their sense of humor shone through!
85. The ring bearer got distracted halfway down the aisle by guests’ cameras,stopping to pose goofily instead of bringing the rings. Everyone ate up his antics!
86. The flower girl stopped to show off her dance moves every few feet, cracking up the guests. The bridesmaids joined in, starting an impromptu aisle dance party.
87. The groom tripped on his vows but the mic caught his bride whispering “I love you” before he restarted. That sincere moment was more precious than any speech.
