Toothbrush Puns (21)
1. What do you call a toothbrush that fell down the stairs? A tumblebrush!
2. Why was the electric toothbrush dressed up for Halloween? It was going as a vampire because it sucks!
3. Did you hear about the psychic toothbrush? It had pre-bristles.
4. What did the dentist say to the misbehaving toothbrush? You better shape up, or you’ll get pulled!
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
6. How do dentists stay up to date? They read the Plaque magazines.
7. Did you hear about the newbie dentist? He was getting his fillings!
8. How do you fix a cracked toothbrush? With a mini bandage.
9. What did the electric toothbrush say to the manual toothbrush? You scrub, I’ll buzz off.
10. Why was the toothbrush wearing shoes? It was a sneakerbrush!
11. Where do toothbrushes go on vacation? The Bristle Islands.
12. Why do toothbrushes make bad journalists? They always brush over the truth.
13. What’s a plumber’s favorite toothbrush? A wrenchbrush!
14. Why did the toothbrush go to the dentist? It needed a filling!
15. Did you hear about the new French toothbrush? It’s called Le Bristle!
16. Why do electric toothbrushes make good wedding planners? They know how to pull off great bridal showers!
17. Why was the toothbrush wearing high heels? She was going clubbing!
18. What kind of toothbrush likes tea? A chai bristle!
19. Why couldn’t the toothbrush ride the bicycle? It needed training bristles first!
20. How do you fix a broken toothbrush? With a spitshine!
21. What do you call a toothbrush that plays video games? An Xbox Bristle!
Toothbrush One-Liners (17)
22. I asked my dentist to recommend a toothbrush, but he didn’t seem too brush-thused.
23. My morning routine goes brush teeth, shower, brush teeth again because who knows what that shower water did to them.
24. New study finds electric toothbrushes are no more effective than manual ones, except at emptying your wallet.
25. They say you’re supposed to change your toothbrush every 3 months, but mine usually last until the bristles are completely flattened.
26. I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet again, guess I have to get a new toilet now.
27. Want to hear a clean joke? Toothbrush.
28. I caught my son using my toothbrush to clean the bathroom grout. Parenting can be so rewarding.
29. My greatest weakness? Leaving my toothbrush at hotels.
30. Doctor: “You need to floss more.” Me: “But I use an electric toothbrush!”
31. New study finds people who use electric toothbrushes are more optimistic about life. I guess you could say they’re feeling pretty brush-positive!
32. Dad joke: “Where do dentists go for vacation?” “The filly-brushes!”
33. I prefer analog toothbrushes. All these new digital ones just don’t feel as authentic.
34. My toothbrush bristles are social distancing from my teeth.
35. Always check the toilet bowl before flushing, unless you feel like deep cleaning your toothbrush.
36. Doctor: “How often do you floss?” Me: “You mean how often do I use my toothbrush?”
37. Siri, set an alarm for 8am tomorrow titled “Time to lie to my dentist about flossing.”
38. New study finds people with clean teeth are generally happier. Turns out the toothbrush really is mightier than the sword.
Best Toothbrush Jokes (25)
39. Three friends – a toothbrush, toothpaste, and dental floss – decided to go on vacation together. They fought the whole time because they just didn’t get along well. The moral? Never take your oral hygiene supplies for granted.
40. Billy hated brushing his teeth. No matter what his parents tried, he refused to brush for the full two minutes. Finally, they bought him a new electric toothbrush that played his favorite song for exactly two minutes. Billy still hated brushing his teeth, but at least now he had a soundtrack for it.
41. Samantha was running late for school as usual. She rushed to get ready, accidentally grabbing her dog’s toothbrush instead of her own. Suffice to say minty fresh dog breath did not make the best first impression for picture day.
42. Rob loved his morning tooth brushing ritual. He preferred to use one hand for the toothbrush and the other for his phone to scroll through social media. One day, as he laughed at a meme, he accidentally swallowed a mouthful of toothpaste foam. Rob learned multitasking has its limits.
43. No matter how much Stephanie loved her boyfriend, she could not stand his nasty toothbrush. The bristles were splayed out in all directions, caked in plaque. Finally, she snapped, threw it out, and replaced it with a brand new one. He definitely got the hint.
44. Pete was so fed up with his manual toothbrush. No matter how much he scrubbed, it never felt like his teeth got really clean. His dentist kept telling him to brush better. Finally, Pete got an electric toothbrush and saw the light. Manual brushes don’t stand a chance.
45. Barb tried every trick to get her kids to brush their teeth without a fight. Stickers as rewards, fun toothpaste flavors, electric brushes – nothing really stuck. That is, until she and the dentist scared them a bit about getting cavities. Fear can be quite motivating.
46. Larry was a creature of habit when it came to his oral hygiene routine. He even took his trusty toothbrush on vacation. One fateful trip, housekeeping accidentally threw his toothbrush away and replaced it with a new one. Needless to say, Larry was positively bristling with rage.
47. Phoebe was obsessed with finding the perfect toothbrush. She tried brushes with extra soft, soft, medium, and firm bristles. She tried angled heads, vibrating handles, and chunky grips. No matter how many toothbrushes she tested though, Phoebe always came crawling back to her boring old reliable standby.
48. For their anniversary, Ron wanted to give his wife Helen something unique. He took the sturdy handle of an old toothbrush and glued on some fancy decorative bristles he had ordered online. It was just different enough to show some creativity. Helen still gave him an A for effort.
49. Jamal’s dentist told him to get a new toothbrush, but he had grown attached to his blue toothbrush. Sure the bristles were mashed and the grip worn, but it had character. No new toothbrush could compete with that kind of history. Eventually though, he had to admit it was time to replace Ol’ Blue.
50. Every time Molly visited her parents, she forgot to bring her toothbrush. Finally, she just left one in their upstairs bathroom drawer. On one visit, she reached for her trusty spare, only to discover it wasn’t there. The mystery of the missing toothbrush boggled the whole family.
51. Jordan’s strict morning oral hygiene routine always had to go in order: toothbrush, mouthwash, floss. One morning, still half asleep, he mistakenly grabbed the mouthwash first and took a huge swig. His minty fresh yet burning mouth learned that order indeed mattered.
52. No matter how often he replaced his toothbrush, Brent could never find one with bristles as soft as his old one. Exasperated by the constant sharp scratching in his mouth, he finally realized why – he had been brushing with his razor instead.
53. Every time Courtney’s husband kissed her in the morning, his putrid morning breath almost knocked her over. She suggested breakfast mints, brushing before bed, mouthwash. Finally, she realized only a deep clean from the dentist would cure his halitosis. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
54. Oscar brought his new electric toothbrush on a business trip but forgot the charger. Just one day in, the battery died and he panicked. Could he survive a week without his vibrating, plaqueslaying machine? Oscar learned just how reliant he had become on technology.
55. Jasmine’s roommate always left globs of old toothpaste in the sink. No matter how often Jasmine nagged, her roommate refused to rinse her toothbrush after brushing. Finally, Jasmine snapped and stuck the dirty toothbrush right on her roommate’s pillow. Message received.
56. Martin could never keep his toothbrush upright in the holder. Every time he grabbed his toothbrush, the bristles were resting in gunk. His whole family laughed at the toothbrush that always seemed to droop over. No matter what holder he bought, the toothbrush just wouldn’t stay clean.
57. Cecilia loved traveling, but it always wreaked havoc on her sensitive teeth. Different water pressure, drinking from water bottles, restaurant food – her teeth paid the price every time. She learned to just pack a whole dental travel kit to stay minty fresh on the go.
58. Bobby loved pranking his big sister Jenny. He would hide her makeup, jump out from around corners, put salt in the sugar bowl. But when Bobby replaced Jenny’s toothpaste with mayonnaise, she drew the line. A fake cockroach was one thing, but no one comes between Jenny and oral hygiene.
59. No matter how many times he was warned, Tim refused to get a new toothbrush after being sick. He insisted boiling his toothbrush disinfected it enough. The boil seemed to kill the germs but not Tim’s stubbornness. His gag reflex finally convinced him how wrong he was.
60. Emily could never keep track of which toothbrush was hers when traveling with her big family. They all had boring white handles. Finally, she took a red sharpie and initialed all her brushes EW. Emily was delighted she would never again brush with her brother’s gnarly old toothbrush.
61. James always used the same zig zag tooth brushing pattern. When his dentist suggested he shake up the routine and brush vertically, it blew James’s mind. Who knew after 35 years, there were other ways to brush your teeth? It took some getting used to but James’s gums were thankful for the change.
62. Marie could never keep her hand steady enough to brush properly due to her cerebral palsy. Inspired after seeing an adaptive zipper pull, her aunt designs a toothbrush brace that straps to Marie’s hand and voila – finally some stability and independence with teeth brushing.
63. No matter how many fancy extras were added on, Arthur’s toothbrush requirements were simple – a basic cheap disposable brush you can buy at any drugstore or airport shop in a pinch. As long as it could do the basics without any bells and whistles, Arthur was happy.
