Titanic Puns (15)
1. I heard the band on the Titanic kept playing even after hitting the iceberg. I guess they just went with the flow.
2. The Titanic’s captain tried to sneak on a lifeboat but they made him walk the plank.
3. The Titanic was supposed to be unsinkable, but it turns out it was marginally buoyant.
4. I asked the captain of the Titanic what his favorite movie was. He said “Anything but Titanic!”
5. The Titanic’s kitchen staff said the last meal was fantastic. It really went down with the ship.
6. I tried to warn the captain about the iceberg up ahead, but he gave me the cold shoulder.
7. The Titanic’s bow broke the ice pretty well. The rest of it, not so much.
8. The musicians on the Titanic wanted their music to make a splash. Just not that kind of splash.
9. The Titanic was hoping to make a big splash on its maiden voyage. Be careful what you wish for!
10. I asked the Titanic’s captain if hitting the iceberg made him feel sheepish. He said “Ewe bet it did!”
11. The Titanic’s final meal was said to be fit for a king. A Burger King, that is.
12. The Titanic’s bow thought it could break the ice with the iceberg. Turns out, the iceberg wasn’t interested.
13. I heard Titanic survivors got a great discount on drinks. Everything was on the rocks.
14. The Titanic wanted to make a big splash on its first voyage. It succeeded beyond its wildest dreams.
15. The Titanic’s crew said they would go down with the ship. They meant it literally.
Titanic One-Liners (10)
16. The Titanic’s first – and last – voyage was anything but smooth sailing.
17. The Titanic really failed to make a good first impression.
18. The Titanic quickly transformed from unsinkable to unthinkable.
19. The iceberg ripped into the Titanic faster than you can say “Women and children first!”
20. The Titanic passengers learned their ship had no reservations about going down.
21. The Titanic wanted to break the ice with its passengers. It succeeded a little too well.
22. The Titanic took one look at the iceberg up ahead and cried, “Just my luck!”
23. The Titanic’s crew scrambled to avoid a collision course with the iceberg. Oops, too late.
24. The Titanic thought hitting the iceberg would help break the ice. Wrong.
25. The Titanic wanted to make a big first impression. I’d say ramming an iceberg did just that.
Best Titanic Jokes (22)
26. The Titanic was billed as an unsinkable ship, but on its maiden voyage it struck an iceberg and sank in less than three hours. As the ship slipped beneath the waves, one passenger was heard to remark, “I guess nothing’s unsinkable after hitting an iceberg at full speed.”
27. Did you hear about the new drink they served on the Titanic? It was on the rocks.
28. Why did the Titanic’s band keep playing even after the ship struck the iceberg? They wanted to go out on a high note.
29. How did the Titanic captain see into the future? With iceberg lettuce.
30. The Titanic’s crew desperately tried to avoid hitting the iceberg, but their efforts were all for naught. Now that’s what I call a Titanic waste of time.
31. On the Titanic’s final night, the captain addressed the passengers: “Well folks, tonight’s in-flight entertainment will be musicians playing Nearer My God to Thee and me doing an impression of the Hindenburg.”
32. The Titanic’s ambitious itinerary was tragically cut short due to unforeseen circumstances with an iceberg. You could say it ended up being an ice-breaker.
33. The Titanic’s crew claimed their ship was unsinkable. After sideswiping an iceberg at full speed, they precariously clung to that false notion even as the “unsinkable” ship sank beneath the waves.
34. As the Titanic began its rapid descent to the ocean floor, passersby winced while witnessing the sorry sight of its hull sticking up out of the water at a 45 degree angle. Truly a steep price to pay for hubris.
35. As the Titanic sank, the band heroically played on, providing a stirring soundtrack of Nearer My God to Thee while passengers scrambled for the lifeboats. Talk about hitting a high note at the worst possible time.
36. The Titanic promised lavish luxury on its maiden voyage, but passengers were sorely disappointed with the shoddy accommodations and sparse rations after the ship struck an iceberg. As one grumpy traveler griped while being loaded onto a lifeboat, “This cruise sucks!”
37. The Titanic’s crew scrambled to avoid the looming iceberg, but it was too little too late. “Well, this is a fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into,” remarked the captain as the ship scraped past the icy obstacle, sealing its fate.
38. As the Titanic began its rapid descent, the ship’s band solemnly launched into a rendition of Nearer My God to Thee while terrified passengers stampeded for the lifeboats. Nothing like an ominous hymn to set the mood as a “unsinkable” ship sinks.
39. The Titanic promised the adventure of a lifetime, but hit an iceberg on day one and ended up at the bottom of the ocean. Talk about a vacation gone terribly wrong!
40. The Titanic passengers were willing to pay big money for the thrill of sailing on an “unsinkable” ship. Let’s just say they didn’t get their money’s worth.
41. The Titanic’s crew scrambled to avoid the iceberg, but their evasive maneuvers proved no match for mother nature. As the ship slipped beneath the waves, the captain grumbled, “We really sunk that one.”
42. As the Titanic rapidly took on water, the band tried to maintain calm by playing a rousing rendition of Nearer My God to Thee. Let’s just say the music did not have its intended effect.
43. The Titanic promised the adventure of a lifetime but delivered the swim of a lifetime for many unfortunate passengers.
44. The Titanic’s crew tried to avoid catastrophe, but their efforts were sunk from the start.
45. The Titanic wanted to make waves on its first voyage across the Atlantic, but an unlucky encounter with an iceberg sent it to a watery grave instead.
46. The Titanic promised luxury but delivered disaster. You win some, you lose some – and in the Titanic’s case, it lost big time.
47. The Titanic rapidly transformed from a swanky ocean liner into a sinking ship spectacle. So much for smooth sailing!
