South Africa Puns
1. I heard South Africa is opening a new restaurant called the Apart-bite Café.
2. Did you hear about the new South African boy band? They’re called Boks of Chocolate.
3. Why did the springbok cross the road? To get to the other Safari!
4. What do you call an angry crowd in South Africa? A rabble rousers!
5. Why was the Zulu warrior so sleepy? He had too much downtime between battles!
6. Which city in South Africa loves their curtains? Cape Drapes!
7. What do you call a South African who loves winter sports? An Ice Borker!
8. Why are elections in South Africa so windy? There’s too much political gale force!
9. Why did the Cape Town mayor outlaw whistling? He wanted less township jive!
10. How do South African cows dance? They do the milkshake!
11. Why was the music critic unimpressed with the South African symphony? There was too much violins in Johannesburg!
12. How do you make holy water in South Africa? You bless the rains down in Africa!
13. Did you hear about the new South African pirate movie? It’s rated ARRR!
14. Why does Santa Claus like to vacation in South Africa? Because of the jolly Cape Town!
South Africa One-Liners
15. I heard Nelson Mandela had an incredible sense of humor – he was known for his dry Robben Island quips.
16. The vuvuzelas at the World Cup were so loud they woke up the whole of South Africa!
17. The South African cricket team’s bowling attack is absolutely lethal – a real mob hit squad!
18. The dancing in South Africa is amazing – it really gets your hips gyrating like a hula Zulu!
19. Cape Town is so windy you can get a blowout just walking down the street!
20. In South Africa, “wait a bit” means you’ll be waiting a very, very long time.
21. South African airlines offer the most luxurious flights in the world – it’s basically a flying five star resort!
22. South Africa takes braai very seriously – it’s practically a national pastime!
23. In South Africa, a car guard can watch your car for hours just for a small tip!
24. South African slang is totally lekker – everything is either sharp, sharp or aish!
Best South Africa Jokes
25. An Australian rugby fan, an England rugby fan, and a South African rugby fan are all in a skyscraper bathroom on the 50th floor when a fire breaks out.
The three fans sprint down the stairs together, but get stuck on the 40th floor as the fire rages below. They decide their only option is to try jumping into the pool on the ground level to survive.
The Australian jumps first, counting aloud as he falls past each floor. “43, 42, 41…” SPLASH! He survives the jump into the pool.
The England fan is next. He too counts down as he passes each floor. “40, 39, 38…” SPLASH! He makes it into the pool safely too.
Finally it’s the South African’s turn. He takes a running leap off the 40th floor ledge and begins counting. “100, 99, 98…”
26. A South African man is getting ready to propose to his girlfriend and decides he wants to ask her father for permission first.
The father says, “I’ll need to ask my wife and see what she thinks.” An hour later he comes back and says, “We’ve discussed it and have a few concerns. First, my daughter’s too young to marry. Second, you have no job. And third, you’re not a Zulu.”
The man is disappointed but understands their concerns. A few months later he goes back and says, “I’m ready to propose again – I have a well-paying job now, your daughter is older, and I’ve converted to Zulu culture.”
The father replies, “That all sounds good but let me discuss it with my wife again.” After another hour the father returns and says, “We accept you to the family on one condition – you must become a Springboks fan.”
The man shouts angrily, “A Springboks fan?! Forget about it, I’m going to marry an English girl!”
27. An Australian, an Englishman, and a South African are at a pub having a beer. They all ordered the same kind of beer in bottles, but the Australian finds a fly in his beer and yells to the bartender, “There’s a fly in my beer, give me another one!”
The Englishman finds a fly in his beer too and politely says, “Excuse me sir, there appears to be a fly in my beer, could you bring me another?”
The South African also finds a fly in his beer, but just takes it out and continues drinking. Curious, the Australian asks him why he didn’t make a fuss like they did.
“Oh that’s easy,” says the South African, “In South Africa, the fly is the cleanest thing that will touch your lips all day!”
28. An Australian tourist visiting South Africa joins a hunting safari during his trip. While out in the bush, he spots a huge lion, takes aim and shoots – but only grazes the lion’s tail.
The angry lion turns and begins charging full speed towards the horrified tourist. The man drops his rifle, starts running for the trees and yells to the guide, “Help me, what do I do?”
The guide shouts back, “Keep running, you can’t outrun the lion but you can outrun me!”
29. Why don’t sharks eat South African swimmers? Professional courtesy!
30. What do South African men and sperm have in common? Only one in 14 million works!
31. What’s the difference between a South African wedding and an South African funeral? One less drunk person.
32. How do you fit 100 South Africans in a Mini? Throw in a braai.
33. Why is divorce so expensive in South Africa? Because it’s worth it!
34. What’s the difference between a South African man and Bigfoot? There are cited sightings of Bigfoot.
35. Why do South Africans drink Castle Lager? To keep their minds off the Castle Lager.
36. How do you know if a South African likes you? He’ll return your lawnmower.
37. Why don’t South African men use condoms? Because they want more people on their side.
38. What’s the best thing about a South African man’s funeral? There’s one less South African man.
39. Why aren’t there any famous South African philosophers? Because who needs thinkers when you have drinkers?
40. Why do South African brides wear white? To coordinate with the kitchen appliances.
41. How can you tell if your wife is South African? She says “not now” when you try making love.
42. Why did the South African man cross the road? His wife told him to fetch beer.
43. How do you circumcise a South African? Kick his sister in the jaw.
44. What’s the difference between South African men and government bonds? The bonds mature.
45. How are South African banks and Bill Cosby similar? They both knock you out with drugs.
Conclusion
Hope you enjoyed these hilarious South African jokes! We poked fun at everything from South African culture and customs to stereotypes about South African men and women. Just remember, it’s all meant in good jest. South Africans have a wonderful sense of humor and are the first to laugh at many of these jokes. Feel free to share your own favorite South African jokes and puns!