Social Media Puns
1. I tried to come up with a Facebook pun, but none of them got many likes.
2. I heard Instagram is changing its name to Instaground. Not sure if this is true, but I’ll repost it just in case!
3. Did you hear about the new social media platform for cows? It’s called MooTube.
4. What do you call two cats that met on Tinder? An Insta-meowment.
5. Reddit jokes are so repetitive, it feels like I’m going in circles. But I guess that’s just the cycle of Reddit.
6. I tried to make a LinkedIn pun about jobs, but couldn’t think of anything. I guess I should brush up on my skills.
7. What do you call someone who takes everything on Facebook seriously? A Mark Zuckerberg.
8. Someone told me to stop making eerie puns, but I will continue to haunt this Reddit thread.
9. I wanted to make up a Twitter pun about birds, but couldn’t think of anything that would go viral.
10. Did you hear about the new app called Insta-chill? It helps you relax when you get too caught up with Instagram.
Social Media One-Liners
11. I guess you could say I’m very well LinkedIn with all 12 of my connections.
12. My Tinder profile says I enjoy long walks on the beach. What it doesn’t say is that I take those walks to avoid talking to people.
13. Reddit is the only place where re-posting gets you more upvotes than original content.
14. I recently applied to a bunch of jobs on LinkedIn. The good news is, I’m now connected with a lot of recruiters. The bad news is, I’m still unemployed.
15. Yes, I use Instagram. No, the photos don’t show my real life – just the breakfasts I wish I had time to eat.
16. My Facebook friend count doubled when my parents joined and friended all my relatives.
17. Posting on social media that you’re enjoying the present moment kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?
18. My idea of flirting on Tinder is liking their dog photos but not their selfies.
19. Being on Twitter is like going to a party where everyone is yelling random comments into a void.
20. LinkedIn is work Twitter. Discuss.
Best Social Media Jokes
21. I spent an hour trying to come up with a Facebook status update that would get a ton of likes. Then I realized that’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back, so I posted about that instead.
22. My friend is obsessed with social media but has no real hobbies or interests. Their bio just lists the platforms they use. It reads, “Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Snapchat, TikTok, Reddit.” I guess you could say they’re multi-bio.
23. I saw two guys at the bar arguing about who had more Tinder matches. One guy said “You only have 200 matches? I have 500!” The other guy responded, “Yeah but how many of those have you actually met up with?” The first guy paused and said “…good point.”
24. Someone tried to explain Reddit to me: “It’s like shouting into the void and sometimes the void shouts back.” Now I’m even more confused.
25. A recent study found that people who spend more than 5 hours a day on social media are twice as likely to feel lonely and depressed. In other news, I haven’t felt a genuine human connection in years!
26. My friend claims he has 3 million followers on Instagram. But looking closer, it’s just the same 30 bots that follow him over and over again.
27. Social media companies keep emailing me to say, “We noticed you haven’t posted in a while!” Yeah, I’m taking a mental health break because YOUR APP was bad for my mental health.
28. Trying to explain LinkedIn to someone who doesn’t use it: “So it’s like Facebook but for jobs and everyone uses their ‘professional’ photo and posts motivational quotes alongside their resume.”
29. If I had a dollar for every group chat I was added to and never spoke in, I could afford to go offline forever.
30. My aunt asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said “higher Instagram engagement.” She said, “Honey I don’t know what that means, would you like a sweater instead?” And you know, that actually sounds much nicer.
31. Friend: Wow you have so many Facebook friends!
Me: Yeah but I’ve never met most of them…
Friend: Isn’t social media great for connecting with other people!
Me: *stares blankly*
32. If I see one more couple posing for an Instagram photo on the beach instead of actually enjoying the moment, I’m going to lose it. Put down the phone and watch the sunset!
33. My co-worker spends our entire lunch break glued to her phone, scrolling Instagram and Snapchatting. Meanwhile I’m just sitting here, eating my sandwich in silence. #nofilter
34. Boss: Your quarterly report is late again. What’s your excuse this time?
Me: Sorry, I was busy trying to get more Twitter followers.
Boss: That’s it. I’m blocking you on LinkedIn.
35. New study finds that heavy social media use can negatively impact your attention span over time. I think the takeaway here is that—ooh look, a funny YouTube video!
36. My friend keeps texting me links to Reddit threads, saying “This post is hilarious, you have to read it!” But by the time I click on the link, he has already sent me 10 more.
37. Doctor: I’m afraid you’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome from years of excessive phone use.
Me: But how will I scroll through Instagram now?
Doctor: Perhaps some real hobbies, relationships and fresh air?
Me: Hmm, interesting theory.
38. A man walked into a bar and said “I’ll have a beer, please.” The bartender asked “Budweiser?” The man replied, “Yeah that’s my Tinder opener too. How did you know?”
39. I heard there’s a new app called OnlyFans where you can subscribe to exclusive content from your favorite influencers. My only question is: why?
40. My goal for this year is to limit my social media usage to 30 minutes a day. *Checks phone* Okay, only 23 hours and 30 minutes to go until today’s limit resets!
41. Friend: Sorry for posting so much on Facebook lately, I know it’s annoying.
Me: Oh I actually unfollowed you months ago, so no worries!
Friend: …
Me: But we’re definitely still friends in real life!
42. Boss: I need you to make a LinkedIn post highlighting our company’s achievements this quarter. Make it inspirational! Motivational! Upbeat!
Me: *Posts screenshot of bank account balance at $0.00* Let’s do this, team!
43. My Tinder match seemed nice at first, but then I noticed some red flags in her bio, like “Looking for someone to validate my self-worth” and “Please help me fill the void inside my soul.”
44. Doctor: I’m concerned about your mental health given how much time you spend on social media.
Me: Can you prescribe something for that?
Doctor: Yes, it’s called delete the apps and go outside.
45. 5 Social Media Tips for Beginners:
1. Overshare!
2. Compare yourself to others!
3. Let it replace real human connection!
4. Never take a break!
5. Your self-worth = Likes & Followers
46. My Spotify Wrapped should just say: Songs I played on repeat while mindlessly scrolling Instagram.
47. Friend: Want to meet up tonight?
Me: Can’t, I have plans.
Friend: Oh yeah, what are you up to?
Me: …Dozens of unread group chats to catch up on.
48. Teacher: Please put away your phones and focus on the lesson.
Students: But we don’t know how to focus without scrolling…
49. Four social media users walk into a bar. They come over and show me their feeds instead of talking to me. Sounds about right.
50. My biggest personality traits according to an online quiz I just took:
– Tweets too much
– Overthinks Instagram captions
– Spends hours crafting the perfect Tinder bio
51. Doctor: I’m afraid you’ve developed chronic stress from social media overuse. You’ll need to take a long break from all apps.
Me: *sweating* Can I still make memes about my mental breakdown?
52. If social media was a job, my performance review would say: “Has potential but spends too much time on Reddit. Please get back to work.”
53. My aunt asked when I’m going to start posting on Instagram again. I said “Right after I finish this Reddit thread, check a few emails, watch some YouTube videos, and scroll through Twitter for the next 8 hours.”
54. I need to stop comparing my daily life to the Instagram highlights of others. My story today is titled “Sat in Bed Eating Chips While Bingeing Netflix.”
55. Me in real life: *Awkward, anti-social, can’t make conversation*
Me online: *Witty remarks, viral memes, hundreds of followers*
Why can’t I be my online self 24/7?
56. My goal is to become an Instagram influencer. Well, that and maybe someday holding an actual conversation with the pizza delivery guy instead of mumbling “Thanks…” and shutting the door.
57. Doctor: I’m afraid your frequent social media use has permanently damaged your dopamine receptors and ability to focus. But the good news is, I got 50 likes on the MRI scan I posted!
58. I wonder if birds ever see people posing for Instagram pictures and think “What the heck are those humans doing?”
59. The problem with social media is that real life starts to feel boring by comparison. My actual weekend: laundry and grocery shopping. My Instagram story: brunching with friends, hiking adventure, cocktail night!
60. If you post an Instagram selfie but don’t get any likes, does it even count? Asking for a friend…