Roses Are Red Puns (20)
1. Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t ever surprise Oscar Pistorius.
2. Roses are red, wisterias are too, I’d love to go out with you.
3. Roses are red, pinks are as well, hand over your wallet or I’ll shoot you with my TEC-9.
4. Roses are red, here’s something new, violets are violet, not freaking blue.
5. Roses are red, sunflowers are tall, I’ll love you forever, even if you’re 6’4″.
6. Roses are red, foxgloves pink, let’s have dinner, preferably with a big drink.
7. Roses are red, orchids are classy, I love you more, than Kanye loves Kanye.
8. Roses are red, lilacs in May, you look adorable, in your disheveled toupee.
9. Roses are red, daisies bring joy, I’m so lucky to have, an Aston Villa boy.
10. Roses are red, peonies bright, there’s no other girl, I’d rather invite.
11. Roses are red, hyacinths are blue, I ordered a pizza, with pepperoni just for you.
12. Roses are red, poinsettias festive, want to join me, for a Christmas eve date?
13. Roses are red, magnolias so white, we’ve been together for 50 days, what a delight.
14. Roses are red, carnations colorful, want to go see a movie? It will be wonderful.
15. Roses are red, poppies bright red, I made us reservations, at the Olive Garden instead.
16. Roses are red, petunias adorable, want to join me for a walk? It will be delectable.
17. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not much of a poet, but I love you.
18. Roses are red, marigolds bright, you know just how to make, even a bad day right.
19. Roses are red, tulips are here, after a long day at work, I’m happy you’re near.
20. Roses are red, lilies delight, we’ve made it a full year, and you still feel right.
Roses Are Red One-liners (15)
21. Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t ever surprise Oscar Pistorius.
22. Roses are red, I have a blaster, I’ll go out with you, but only if you’re Master Chewbacca.
23. Roses are red, wisterias are too, I’d go out with you, if you were the last dude.
24. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having triplets, and I’m leaving you.
25. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 cats, hope that’s cool with you.
26. Roses are red, orchids are classy, I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye.
27. Roses are red, poinsettias festive, want to join me for a Christmas eve date?
28. Roses are red, petunias adorable, want to go for a walk? It will be delectable.
29. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not much of a poet, but I love you.
30. Roses are red, I have something to confess, I’m the notorious outlaw known as Jesse James.
31. Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t ever surprise Oscar Pistorius.
32. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re done with revenge, it’s time me and you.
33. Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s our 5-year anniversary, and I still love you.
34. Roses are red, wisterias are too, want to go on a Disney cruise, just me and you?
35. Roses are red, violets are blue, let’s skip the wedding, and honeymoon too.
Best Roses Are Red Jokes (15)
36. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’ve been married 50 years, and I still love you. Our marriage has had its ups and downs, but through it all, you’ve been my faithful partner. You stood by my side during my darkest moments, and I’m forever grateful. Here’s to 50 more years of laughter, memories, and growing old together!
37. Roses are red, orchids are classy. I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye. But really, I love you more than anyone could love themselves. You taught me how to open my heart and accept love. My life is so much richer with you in it. Thanks for choosing me.
38. Roses are red, violets are blue, I ordered a pizza, with pepperoni just for you. I know it’s not the most romantic gesture, but I wanted to do something to make you smile after your long day at work. You do so much and rarely get appreciated. So tonight, pizza and Netflix are on me. You deserve to put your feet up and relax.
39. Roses are red, poinsettias festive, want to join me, for a Christmas eve date? The holidays can be stressful, but I don’t want that for us. Let’s have an early celebration – just you and me under the mistletoe, drinking eggnog by the fire. No family or gift stress, just quality time together to appreciate our love. What do you think?
40. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re done with revenge, it’s time me and you. Our relationship hasn’t been the healthiest lately. We’ve both made mistakes and done hurtful things. But I think we’ve punished each other long enough. I’m ready to forgive you, if you can forgive me too. Let’s leave the past in the past and start fresh. I miss what we used to have.
41. Roses are red, violets are blue, I burned down the gambling hall, and now I’m coming for you. You scammed a lot of good people out of their hard-earned money. Did you think there wouldn’t be consequences, Vincent “Lucky Vinnie” Scaletta? Your luck just ran out, and now you’ll pay.
42. Roses are red, the lottery I’ve won, the husband I have, is no longer the one. Yes, Richard, I’m leaving you. Do you want to know why? It’s not your lack of romance or inability to communicate. It’s the terrible “pranks” you think are so funny. Who puts cherry bombs in the toilet and raw chickens in my car?? Goodbye and good riddance.
43. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 cats, hope that’s cool with you. I should have told you sooner about my fur babies, but I was nervous. I know not everyone loves cats like I do. But these whiskered balls of fluff mean the world to me. So what do you say? Want to join our little feline family?
44. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having triplets, and I’m leaving you. Sorry, Mark, but three babies is my limit. I know we planned for two kids, but THREE? Call me selfish, but I value my career and hobbies too. Feel free to fight me for custody. Or maybe you’ll change enough dirty diapers to want out too. Let me know.
45. Roses are red, I have something to confess, I’m the notorious outlaw known as Jesse James. That’s right, darling. I haven’t been completely honest about my job as a “security consultant.” In fact, I terrorize banks and trains. Your friends weren’t lying about me. I understand if you want to leave. Just please don’t tell the Texas Rangers where I am!
46. Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t ever surprise Oscar Pistorius. We all know the Olympian track star who killed his girlfriend by mistake, thinking she was an intruder. Let that be a lesson about surprising people, even loved ones. You could get shot! Better to always announce yourself, just to be safe.
47. Roses are red, I have a blaster, I’ll go out with you, but only if you’re Master Chewbacca. I have a thing for tall, hairy guys who can rip someone’s arms off if needed. And who doesn’t love a walking carpet, am I right? So what do you say – want to be my Wookiee boyfriend? I promise it will be a roaring good time. No other dude can compare.
48. Roses are red, marigolds bright, you know just how to make, even a bad day right. There are times I come home grumpy, stressed, and just want to be alone. But you always know exactly how to lift my mood. Whether it’s with a corny joke or my favorite meal, your love brightens my world. I’m so lucky you’re in my life.
49. Roses are red, wisterias are too, I’d go out with you, if you were the last dude. Let’s be real, Brad, I’m out of your league. But if the zombie apocalypse happened and we were the last two people alive, sure, I’d be your girlfriend. Might as well repopulate the planet, right? But until then, I’ll pass. Don’t call me again.
50. Roses are red, wisterias are too, want to go on a Disney cruise, just me and you? We could hit up all the parks, then relax on the deck with Mickey ice cream bars. No whiny toddlers or long lines – just pixie dust magic and your hand in mine. Escape real life for a while in the happiest place on earth. So what do you say? Want to be my prince charming?