Killer Whale Puns (20)
1. What do you call a killer whale that loves math? An orca-nizer!
2. Why don’t killer whales ever get cold? They have blubber jackets!
3. What do you call a killer whale detective? A porpoise investigator!
4. Why do killer whales make great philosophers? They’re always pondering fin-dom!
5. What do you call a killer whale that works at SeaWorld? An employee orca-nization!
6. Why can’t killer whales become lawyers? They can only practice marine law!
7. How does a killer whale get around town? By taking the porpoise transport!
8. Why are killer whales so clean? They take daily orca-nizations!
9. What do you call a killer whale in a tuxedo? Formal finwear!
10. Why do killer whales make bad waiters? They serve food that’s orca-fensive!
11. What’s a killer whale’s favorite TV crime drama? Fin and Order!
12. Why do killer whales hate driving at night? Because their head-orca-ments don’t work!
13. Why do killer whales love doing laundry? They get a kick out of orca-tide!
14. What do you call a killer whale that went to business school? A master of fin-ance!
15. Why are killer whales banned from comedy clubs? Their sense of porpoise humor!
16. What’s a killer whale’s favorite monthly magazine? Better Blow Holes and Porpoises!
17. Why did the killer whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!
18. What do you call a killer whale that doesn’t follow the rules? An orca-narchist!
19. Why do killer whales make great therapists? They’re fluent in cetacean speak!
20. What do you call a killer whale that loves to read? A ferocious pager!
Killer Whale One-Liners (15)
21. I took my killer whale to the car wash today and got it orca-strated.
22. My friend got harpooned in the blowhole by a killer whale – he’s still recovering from the ordeal.
23. I was going to make a killer whale joke, but I decided not to whale on it.
24. My pet killer whale is named Free Willy because he escaped from SeaWorld.
25. Knock knock! Who’s there? Orca. Orca who? Orca-strating a killer whale pun!
26. What do you get when you cross a killer whale with a shark? An animal that’s orca-strating its food!
27. I took my killer whale to the car wash today and got it orca-strated.
28. Killer whales use echolocation to find prey – it’s like sonar, but more orca-strated.
29. I was going to tell a killer whale joke, but I decided not to whale on it.
30. What do you call a killer whale wearing headphones? An orca-stra!
31. How much does it cost for a killer whale to have lunch? About tree fiddy.
32. What do you call a killer whale in a tuxedo? Formal finwear!
33. My friend got harpooned in the blowhole by a killer whale – he’s still recovering from the ordeal.
34. My favorite killer whale recently got married – I got porpoisely dressed up for the occasion!
35. I took my pet killer whale to the vet and found out it has fin rot – poor orca!
Best Killer Whale Jokes (30)
36. What do you call a killer whale that graduates from high school? A diploma orca!
A killer whale named Shamu spent 12 long years working towards getting his high school diploma. His family and pod were so proud when he finally graduated!
37. How does a killer whale practice law? By passing the bar exam at the blow hole!
A killer whale named Orca really wanted to become a lawyer, so she studied hard in law school. On test day, she went to the local blow hole to take the bar exam. After passing with flying colors, Orca could finally practice marine law!
38. Why don’t killer whales ever pay their taxes on time? They’re always waiting until the last fin!
Every April 15th, killer whales procrastinate on doing their taxes. They wait until the very last minute, filing their fin-ancial information at 11:59pm on tax day! This causes them to get penalized with fees for filing late. Maybe next year they’ll get their taxes done sooner!
39. What did the baby killer whale say to its mother? I whaley love you mom!
A cute baby killer whale looked up at its mother with its big round eyes. “I whaley love you mom,” the calf squeaked. “You’re the best!” The mother smiled warmly at her dear baby.
40. Why was the killer whale afraid to go back to SeaWorld? Because of the orca-stra!
After being freed from SeaWorld, a killer whale named Willy was terrified to go back. The loud music, bright lights, and big crowds were too overwhelming. But most of all, he couldn’t handle the orca-stra that forced him to perform tricks for the audience’s amusement. Willy just wanted to be free!
41. What did the lawyer say to the killer whale defendant? I’m orca-fident I can get you off on this charge!
A killer whale named Shamu was on trial for stealing fish from a local market. His lawyer turned to him and said, “Don’t worry, I’m orca-fident I can get these charges dismissed. No jury will convict once they hear your side of the story!”
42. Why couldn’t the killer whale become an accountant? Because she was no good at fin-ance!
A young killer whale named Cora always dreamed of being an accountant. But when she took her first fin-ance class, Cora just couldn’t understand debit and credit. Balancing budgets made her blow hole ache! Sadly, number-crunching wasn’t for Cora. Her fin-ancial future would have to go another direction.
43. What do you call a killer whale that loves peanut butter? An orca-nute butter addict!
Bruno the killer whale just couldn’t get enough of peanut butter. He would eat whole jars of it in one sitting. Bruno’s family held an “Orca-nute Butter Addicts Anonymous” meeting just for him. But no matter what, Bruno always went back to his favorite spread.
44. Why don’t killer whales make good deli workers? They only serve orca meat!
Bobo the killer whale got a job at a local deli. But when customers asked for turkey or roast beef, all Bobo offered them was raw orca meat! Needless to say, the deli didn’t keep Bobo around for long. His limited menu just didn’t work for a general sandwich shop.
45. Why do killer whales hate taking taxis? Because of the orca fares!
Killer whales strongly prefer public transit over taxis. The reason? Sky-high taxi fares! Cab drivers charge double when they see a 6-ton orca waiting for a ride. And don’t even ask how much it costs to call for a whale Uber! To avoid orca fares, most killer whales stick to buses and trains.
46. What’s a killer whale’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune!
When killer whales flip on their TVs, they love tuning in to Whale of Fortune! Watching other cetaceans spin the wheel and guess at porpoise phrases is thoroughly entertaining. The killer whales cheer them on from their living rooms, hoping someone wins big!
47. Why did the killer whale blubber during the movie? Because it was so emo-sea-onal!
A sad drama movie came on and the killer whale couldn’t hold back its tears. As the film hit the climax, the whale started blubbering and weeping. The emotional plot was just too much! The killer whale’s friends patted it on the back and said, “There, there…it’s just a very emo-sea-onal film.”
48. What’s a killer whale’s favorite musical note? Sea-sharp!
A musically gifted killer whale named Melody had perfect pitch. She could identify any note, but her absolute favorite was C-sharp. There was something about that high-pitched sea-sharp tone that Melody found soothing. All her whale songs were composed using the lovely sea-sharp note.
49. Why did the killer whale get kicked out of the buffet? For eating too much all-you-can-eat orca!
A hungry killer whale named Tank went to an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet. He scarfed down plate after plate of fish, shrimp, and unfortunately, other orcas too. The manager had to force Tank to leave for eating far more than his share, especially of the endangered orca meat. Talk about giving killer whales a bad name!
50. Why did the killer whale give up gaming? He rage-finned one too many times!
Bruce the killer whale loved playing online games with his podmates. But he was super competitive and easily lost his temper. Every time Bruce lost or got fin-ished, he would yell and thrash around in a rage-fin. Eventually Bruce’s pod staged an orca-ntervention, telling him to give up gaming for good before he fin-jured someone.
51. What’s a killer whale’s favorite thing to wear? A fin-zy floral dress!
Georgia the killer whale was quite the fashionista. She loved accessorizing her dorsal fin with colorful barrettes and bows. But her absolute favorite outfit was a fin-zy floral sundress that complemented her black and white markings. Georgia felt like a sea princess whenever she wore that flowy frock.
52. Why was the killer whale sent to its room? For a blow hole outburst!
One night at the dinner table, a young killer whale named Shamu threw a major temper tantrum over not getting dessert. He cried loudly, making a scene and a lot of blow hole noise. His embarrassed parents sent him straight to his room. “No dessert for killer whales who have blow hole outbursts!” they declared.
53. What did the Scottish killer whale wear on a cold day? A whale-d sweater!
A killer whale named MacTavish lived in chilly Scottish waters. To stay cozy on frigid days, he would layer up in warm woolens. MacTavish’s favorite sweater was hand-knitted by his grandmother from soft, thick yarn. The whale-d wool kept him nice and toasty even in icy conditions!
54. Why do killer whales hate housekeeping? Because they don’t like fin-ishing chores!
Ask a killer whale to clean its room and you’ll get nothing but complaints. Scrub the bathroom? Lots of groaning. Killer whales just hate fin-ishing household chores! They’ll try anything to get out of cleaning. Their families have to bribe them with fish treats just to get a slightly tidy home.
55. What do you call a killer whale that loves music? An orca-stra conductor!
Phoebe the killer whale had an amazing talent for music. She formed an entire orca-stra and served as its conductor. With her excellent pitch and grace, Phoebe could make the whale musicians follow her lead beautifully. Their concerts always sold out thanks to Phoebe’s gift for directing a fin-tastic orca-stra.
56. Why don’t killer whales buy homes? The mortgage rates are always under water!
Killer whales wish they could purchase real estate, but the mortgage rates for an ocean home are terrible. Lenders offer underwater interest rates over 10% APR! No wonder most killer whales prefer renting sea caves instead. They’d never be able to afford a waterfront property mortgage.
57. Where do killer whales go for vacation? To fin-land!
When killer whales get time off from work, they love traveling to the gorgeous Scandinavian country of Finland. Its serene lakes and fjords remind them of home. Finland’s killer whale population always gives visiting orcas a warm fin-land welcome!
58. What’s a killer whale’s favorite mode of transportation? Orca-plane!
Being semi-aquatic mammals, killer whales don’t use cars or buses. Their preferred method of travel is by orca-plane! Flying lets pods of whales migrate easily for seasonal food and mating purposes. Next time you’re on a flight, check below for any orca-planes carrying killer whales.
59. Which ink does a killer whale use to write strongly-worded letters? Orca-permanent!
Sir Reginald Finbottom, a refined killer whale and civil rights activist, relied on his trusty orca-permanent pen whenever he wrote influential letters or documents. Thanks to that indelible ink, Reginald’s eloquent words made history and created lasting change.
60. Why don’t killer whales go camping? They don’t like pitching fin-tents!
Every summer, killer whale pods take seaside vacations. But you’ll never see an orca renting campground space or pitching a fin-tent! Sleeping on the beach under the stars just doesn’t appeal to them. Killer whales strongly prefer relaxing in underwater caves instead.
61. What’s a killer whale’s favorite breakfast? Orca-meal!
To start their day off right, killer whales love a hearty breakfast of fishy orca-meal. The omega-3 rich salmon flakes provide blubber-boosting energy. No day of migration, play, or work feels complete without a bowl of delicious orca-meal cereal first!
62. Why did the killer whale cross the road? To prove it’s not chicken!
People always say “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Well, this killer whale wanted to point out – it is definitely NOT chicken! To prove whales aren’t afraid to cross streets and highways like chickens supposedly are, it proudly strolled across the busy road. Message received, Mr. Killer Whale!
63. What kind of dance do killer whales do? The fin-nage!
Every year, pods of killer whales gather to celebrate the mating season with a traditional dance – the fin-nage! They line up and slap their fins on the water in intricate rhythmic patterns. Young whales fin-nagle for a chance to join the adults on this important ritual fin-nage dance.
64. Why didn’t the killer whale pass its driver’s test? It couldn’t parallel fin park!
A young whale named Kona was all set to get her driver’s license. She could ace the pod-ling course and maintain whale speed limits easily. But parallel fin parking was impossible! Kona kept bumping into other boats, unable to maneuver her long fins into tight spaces. Maybe next year she’ll finally master parallel fin parking.
65. Why do killer whales hate comedy shows? The jokes aren’t fin-ny enough!
Some killer whales love going to the local comedy club, but most find it boring. Between the drink minimums and crowded seating, the mediocre fin-ny fails just aren’t worth it. These whales prefer amusing themselves by coming up with their own hilarious puns and whale jokes instead!
