Jobs Puns
- I wanted to get a job cleaning mirrors but I just couldn’t see myself doing it.
- I tried to get a job at a bakery but they said I wasn’t bread for it.
- I went for a job interview to become a garbage man, but they said my CV stinks.
- I couldn’t concentrate in my workout class because the instructor kept yelling, “Feel the burn!” I’m a firefighter, not an accountant!
- Working in the shoe recycling business is sole destroying.
- The urologist got fired from his job because he couldn’t pee in a cup.
- I wanted to work at the orphanage but they said I couldn’t just kid around all day.
- I got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off.
- I wanted to work at the orange juice factory but I couldn’t concentrate.
- I wanted to be a historian but there was no future in it.
Jobs One-liners
- My friend got fired from the keyboard factory. They told him he wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
- I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
- Working in the shoe recycling business is sole destroying.
- I tried getting a job cleaning mirrors but I just couldn’t see myself doing it.
- I got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off.
- I went for a job interview to become a garbage man, but they said my CV stinks.
- I wanted to get a job cleaning mirrors but I just couldn’t see myself doing it.
- I tried getting a job as a bartender but I didn’t make the cut.
- The butcher got fired because he kept cutting corners.
- I wanted to work in a shoe factory but they said I didn’t make the cut.
Best Jobs Jokes
21. My friend Jim was fired from his job at the orange juice factory. When I asked him why, he said, “I just couldn’t concentrate!”
22. I went for an interview the other day. The manager said, “We’re looking for someone responsible.” I said, “Well, I’m your man. In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
23. I wanted to work in IT but couldn’t figure it out. So I got a job at an origami factory. Turns out I was just paper pushing.
24. I was offered a job working on a farm, taking care of the chickens. I turned it down though, I didn’t want to get up at the crack of dawn just to deal with a bunch of foul fowl all day.
25. My friend was fired from his job at the coffee shop. His manager accused him of stealing food and beverages. But my friend swore he was frappuccino.
26. I wanted to work at the library but they wouldn’t hire me because all I did during the interview was read between the lines.
27. I applied to be a cashier at the supermarket, but they told me to check out other opportunities.
28. I tried to get a job as a house painter but I didn’t make the cut. The boss said I was lacking in exterior skills.
29. I was going to apply for a job cleaning mirrors but something tells me I won’t be able to see myself doing that.
30. I wanted to be a doctor but I just didn’t have the patience.
31. Working as an electrician was shocking at first but I’m currently enjoying the experience. The salary isn’t bad either, it hertz so good.
32. I wanted to be a dermatologist but I quickly lost interest. I just couldn’t get under anyone’s skin.
33. I was going to work at the bowling alley but I decided to skip it. Too many gutter jobs out there.
34. I went for a job interview at a blacksmith’s workshop. The manager took one look at me and said “You’re not up to scratch.”
35. I wanted to work at the shoe factory but I just couldn’t seem to fit in.
36. I applied to be a historian but they told me there was no future in it.
37. I wanted to work at the toy factory but I was just playing around.
38. Working at the paper factory was tearable. My coworkers kept ripping into me about everything.
39. I tried getting a job at Starbucks but I wasn’t qualified enough. They said my skills didn’t measure up.
40. I wanted to be a farmer but I couldn’t see myself raising crops.
41. Working at the chocolate factory was a fudge packing job.
42. I tried to get a job at the zoo feeding giraffes but I just didn’t have the neck experience they were looking for.
43. I wanted to be a tailor but the job just didn’t suit me.
44. I applied to be a personal trainer but they said I wasn’t fit for the position.
45. I tried getting a job at the calendar factory but got fired because I took a day off.
46. I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t have the patients.
47. Working at the shoe factory really hardened me. It was sole crushing.
48. I wanted to work at the oil rigs but the idea just didn’t drill with me.
49. I applied to be a lumberjack but it was clear I didn’t make the cut.
50. I wanted to be a real estate agent but couldn’t find an open house.
51. I tried to get a job at the ice cream factory but got cold feet during the interview.
52. I wanted to be a pilot but I decided to wing it in another career field instead.
53. Working at the laundry was a pressing issue. I decided to quit and iron out a new career path.
54. I applied to be a lifeguard but they told me the position was in too deep water for me.
55. I tried getting a job at the bank but I didn’t make the cut. The only vault I have is in pole dancing.