Gecko Puns (20)
1. What do you call a gecko who loves music? A gecko phile!
2. Why don’t geckos play basketball? They don’t want to get dribbled on!
3. Why do geckos make great spies? They’re always undercover.
4. What do you call a gecko detective? An investi-gator!
5. Why don’t geckos need maps? They have a lizard sense of direction.
6. Why did the gecko wear sunscreen? He didn’t want to get reptile skin damage!
7. What do you call a gecko that plays the guitar? A geckolele!
8. Why are geckos such messy eaters? They reptile on their food!
9. What do you call a gecko that works out? A flexi-lizard!
10. Why do geckos make great landlords? They’re good at property man-lizard-ment.
11. What do you call a gecko that loves to read? A book lizard!
12. Why don’t geckos tell secrets? Because they don’t want to rep-tail!
13. Why do geckos make bad barbers? Because they always give bad hair-reptiles.
14. What’s a gecko’s favorite fruit? Reptile melons!
15. Why did the gecko wear a disguise? He wanted to go inco-lizard.
16. What do you call a gecko that plays chess? A grand-lizard master!
17. Why are geckos so good with money? They’re natur-al at finance.
18. Why did the gecko cross the road? To get to the reptile side!
19. What do you call a gecko that loves tea? A repti-lea-f!
20. Why was the gecko teacher angry? Her students weren’t being atten-lizard!
Gecko One-Liners (15)
21. I wanted a pet gecko, but the guy at the store said they were just lizards without benefits.
22. My gecko has an amazing sense of direction – it’s like he has a GPS… Gecko Positioning System!
23. They say geckos are cold blooded, but my gecko always gives me warm hugs.
24. Be careful when handling geckos, their tails detach easily. You could end up with gecko thighs.
25. I took my gecko to the vet and they said “Sir, this gecko is dead.” That was a real lizard letdown.
26. My friend called me obsessed for owning 15 geckos, but I’m not obsessed. I can stop whenever I want. I just don’t want to reptile my steps.
27. I was sad when my gecko died, but then I remembered I can just buy another leopard gecko on the reptile market.
28. My gecko won’t stop licking his eyeballs. I think he might have a reptile dysfunction.
29. I asked my gecko “can you talk?” He said “I don’t do impressions.” Fair enough.
30. I entered my gecko in a climbing contest but he didn’t win. I guess the wall was too high gecko-ver.
31. My gecko shed his skin today so I cooked it up for him. He loved the reptile recipe!
32. Geckos may lose their tails, but they’ll never lose their sense of humor!
33. Waking up early? Don’t worry, it’s just the gecko of dawn.
34. Tried buying my gecko some shoes once. Turns out geckos have really extraor-lizard-y feet!
35. Met a talking gecko today who said his name was “Geco.” I said “Don’t you mean Gecko?” He said “Nope, just Geco thank you.”
Best Gecko Jokes (25)
36. What do you call a detective gecko? An investi-gator!
A gecko named Gex opened up a private investigation firm called “Gex Investigations.” He was quite successful and solved many challenging cases that stumped the police. Gex became known as a clever “investi-gator” among his clients.
37. What’s a gecko’s favorite day of the week? Lizard Day!
Geckos love to spend their Sundays being lazy lizards, just laying around in the sun and not doing much. Their cold-blooded biology means they have to soak up a lot of warmth on the weekends after a busy week of scurrying up walls and catching bugs. That’s why lazy Sundays are every gecko’s favorite day – the perfect day to kick back and be a lazy lizard!
38. Why don’t ants ever bother geckos? They know better than to mess with lizards!
Ants and geckos often cross paths, but the ants know not to bother the lizards. Geckos are insectivores who love to eat bugs, so ants instinctively avoid them. The ants don’t want to become an easy gecko meal, so they steer clear of any lizard lounge areas.
39. What’s a gecko’s favorite type of footwear? Repti-leathers!
Geckos love shoes made from fine reptile leathers, like snake and alligator skin. The exotic reptile patterns and textures remind them of their scaly skin. And the leather is durable enough to withstand their strong gripping toes. For fashion-forward geckos, reptile leather shoes are definitely the footwear of choice!
40. Why are baby geckos so bad at hide and seek? Because they’re terrarium-ble hiders!
When young geckos play hide and seek in their terrariums, they aren’t very good at not being spotted. Their tiny bodies don’t conceal well behind branches and leaves. And their long tails tend to stick out, giving away their hiding spots. With their limited hiding skills inside a tank, baby geckos are just terrarium-ble at the game!
41. What’s a gecko’s favorite snack? Mice Krispies!
Geckos love munching on live mice and roaches for a nutritious insectivore snack. The crunch of the critters’ exoskeletons satisfies a gecko’s cravings. The closest human food equivalent would be Rice Krispies, with the crisp snap and pop of the cereal matching the texture of their favorite creepy-crawly treats!
42. Why don’t geckos need maps? They have a lizard sense of direction!
Geckos are able to efficiently navigate complex environments using specialized cells in their brains that can detect magnetic fields, visual landmarks, and pheromone cues. This “lizard sense” of direction allows them to retrace their steps and return to home base without getting lost, making maps totally unnecessary!
43. What’s a gecko’s favorite exercise? Push-reps!
When geckos work out, they pump their little arms and legs to get that burn. Push-ups work their upper body while repping out incline pull-ups strengthens their limbs and core. Gecko gyms play high-energy reptile rock to keep them motivated. Gotta get that reptile ripped!
44. Why did the gecko wear sunscreen? To prevent reptile skin damage!
As cold-blooded reptiles, geckos need to be careful how much sun they get. Too much UV exposure can damage their delicate skin, leading to peeling, irritation, and increased cancer risk. A good sunscreen prevents painful reptile burns so geckos can bask safely!
45. What do you call a gecko that loves music? A gecko-phile!
Dave the gecko has an extensive collection of reptile rock albums he loves listening to. His favorites are The Lizards, The Doors, and The Police because of their iconic reptile-themed names. Dave often sports a leather jacket and sunglasses at concerts when he’s rocking out. His friends affectionately call him a true gecko-phile!
46. How does a gecko rock climb? He goes up the wall-izard!
When attempting to scale a challenging rock wall, a gecko will scurry upwards using his super sticky toes as grips. He’ll crawl methodically, finding each new foothold along the wall-izard. It’s not an easy climb, but the determined gecko’s specialized lizard feet allow him to conquer the vertical surface!
47. Why did the gecko play his guitar lying down? He wanted to play it gecko!
Jamming on his gecko-lele after a long night, this gecko was feeling too lazy to sit up. So he just laid down on the floor, kicked back and started playing sweet lizard lullabies. The soft reptile rock helped him relax as he strummed away in true gecko style!
48. What did the gecko say when he lost his tail? “My butt got ripped off!”
Geckos can unintentionally detach their tails when trying to escape predators. This startled gecko felt a tug and turned to see his still-wriggling tail on the ground behind him. “My butt got ripped off!” he shouted in shock. Tail loss is a traumatic experience for geckos! Though it does eventually grow back.
49. Why are geckos the best rock climbers? Because they always stick their landings!
Leaping between surfaces high above the ground requires precision when landing. Luckily, geckos have specialized toe pads covered in microscopic hairs that allow them to grip any surface. This makes sure-footed geckos the greatest rock climbing and wall scaling acrobats, since they can always stick their landings, no matter how high up they jump!
50. Why do geckos make terrible singers? They always go flat on the high lizard notes!
When geckos try to hit high vocal riffs their voices crack embarrassingly. Their reptilian vocal cords just aren’t designed to reach those lofty lizard notes. Geckos are better off chirping low and slow rather than attempting any American Lizard-ol crooning. Don’t quit your day job, geckos!
51. Why are geckos so good at saving money? Because they’re expert financers!
Geckos live relatively simply and don’t require much to be happy. They’re resourceful when it comes to food, housing, and healthcare. By nature, geckos avoid unnecessary expenditures. Plus their cold blood means lower energy bills! For these reasons, geckos tend to be expert financial managers who are great at saving money!
52. What’s a gecko’s favorite sitcom? Lizardfield!
There’s nothing geckos love more than sitting back and enjoying some quality television. Their favorite show is “Lizardfield” – a wacky sitcom about four gecko friends living together in an apartment. The zany reptile humor really appeals to geckos’ sense of fun. After a long day hunting bugs, geckos can unwind with their beloved “Lizardfield.”
53. Why did the gecko growl at his reflection? He didn’t recognize himself!
This gecko caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror and thought it was a rival male invading his territory. He scowled aggressively and made his best tough guy gecko noises at the mirror. It wasn’t until the reflection copied his every move that he realized it was just his own reflection. Oops, guess he didn’t recognize himself!
54. Why are geckos the most honest criminals? Because they always confess-a-lizard!
When gecko mob bosses get arrested, they readily admit to all their reptilian wrongdoings rather than keeping their mouths shut. Even under pressure from the heat, geckos will confess-a-lizard! They just can’t seem to help squealing on themselves and their cold-blooded associates when brought in for questioning.
55. Why did the gecko wear a tuxedo? He was a gentle-lizard!
This refined gecko always dressed to the nines because he considered himself a true gentle-lizard. He completed his dashing look with a top hat and cane. The gecko may have reptilian roots, but his charming spirit and impeccable style made him an upright gentle-lizard!
56. Why are geckos such great landlords? They’re experts at property man-lizard-ment!
Geckos take their role as landlords seriously. They’re diligent about home maintenance and fair about rent collection. Any repair issues get promptly resolved with their handyman gecko skills. Tenants appreciate having responsible geckos manage the property day-to-day. Their innate man-lizard abilities make them ideal landlords!
57. What do you call a gecko who solves mysteries? An investi-gator!
Gabe the Gecko always had a knack for solving puzzles and finding clues others missed. He soon earned a reputation around his terrarium as an ace problem-solver. When pets started coming to Gabe to help investigate mysteries, he knew he had found his true calling. Now he puts his investi-gating skills to use helping his terrarium friends!
58. Why are reptiles the coolest pets? Because geckos rule and snakes drool!
While snakes are seen as scary and slimy, geckos have a much more friendly and fun reputation as pets. Geckos come in bright colors, have smiley faces, and their sticky feet allow them to climb walls and hang out. Plus they eat bugs! Geckos’ playful personalities give them the edge over other reptiles as the coolest herp you can own.
59. What do you call a gecko who does karate? A chop-lizard!
Deep in the bamboo forests lives the legendary chop-lizard – a gecko who has perfected the ancient art of reptilian martial arts. Lightning quick reflexes allow him to execure spinning tail sweeps and devastating dragon punches. Mess with this chop-lizard and you’ll end up sleeping with the roaches!
60. Why did the gecko victoriously run up the wall? He was feeling over the moon-lizard!
The gecko had just won his heat at the bigreptile athletics tournament and was feeling on top of the world. In celebration, he triumphantly ran up the stadium wall while pumping his fists. Nothing makes a gecko feel more over the moon-lizard than the thrill of victory!