Chocolate Puns
1. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue-berry!
2. What kind of chocolate do you get when you milk a cow? Milky Way!
3. Why did the chocolate bar go to college? It wanted to be a smartie!
4. What do you call a cocoa bean that works out? A protein shake!
5. Why was the chocolate bar upset? It had a chip on its shoulder.
6. How do chocolate bars pay their taxes? With Mars Bars!
7. Why was the chocolate bar hanging on the wall? It was part of the skittles display!
8. Why couldn’t the kid see the chocolate bar? It was a 3 Musketeers bar!
9. What do you call chocolate that doesn’t fit in the wrapper? Wonka!
10. Why do chocolate chips dance so well? They have butterfingers!
11. Why did the candy bar cross the road? It was a bit nutty!
12. What do you call chocolate on vacation? A Kit Kat bar!
13. Why did the chocolate factory fire the new employee? He kept goofing up the Mounds bars.
14. Why was the chocolate bar angry after yoga class? It was a bit of a Twix!
15. Why do chocolate bars make bad nurses? They have no sympathy!
Chocolate One-Liners
16. I went to buy some chocolate spread the other day but the jars were absolutely humongous, so I just bought Nutella.
17. I entered a competition the other day for who could eat the most chocolate bars but I’m not sure I can win, I don’t have much of a Wispa.
18. Did you hear about the angry candy bar? It had a chip on its shoulder.
19. I’m reading a great book about chocolate factories at the moment, it has so many Twists in the tale!
20. This girl told me she recognized me from the chocolate aisle in the grocery store, I replied “Oh I don’t think we’ve met”.
21. I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I had to stop eating chocolate bars or I would be in truffle.
22. I entered myself into a competition for who could eat the most chocolate bars, but I only managed one Bite, a Finger and a Ripple.
23. Did you hear about the chocolate bar that went to college? He graduated with honors and got a Degree.
24. I was going to tell you a joke about chocolate bars but it might be a Rocky subject.
25. Did you hear about the new chocolate diet? Apparently you can lose 3 Pounds in a week!
26. I tried to order more chocolate for my shop but the delivery man was Ghirardelli days late.
27. My friend told me to stop eating chocolate bars, he said too much could kill me. What a Morbid guy.
28. Did you hear about the chocolate bar who traveled abroad? He went to see the Whirled.
29. I entered a chocolate eating competition last week. Let’s just say it was a marathon not a Snickers.
30. My girlfriend accused me of loving chocolate more than her. That’s just Twix of the imagination!
Best Chocolate Jokes
31. A man walked into a candy shop looking for a chocolate bar for his wife. The shopkeeper showed him some dark chocolate and some milk chocolate. The man said, “She likes nuts, do you have anything with nuts?” The shopkeeper gave him a Hershey’s Almond bar. “No, she likes bigger nuts than that.” So he gave him a Hershey’s bar with walnuts. “No, bigger nuts.” So he gave him a chocolate bar with Brazil nuts. “No, bigger nuts.” So he gave him a chocolate bar with coconuts. The man opened it, took a bite, and said, “This is delicious, I’ll take a dozen!”
32. Three chocolatiers were discussing who makes the best chocolate.
The French chocolatier said, “The French make the best chocolate because we use the finest cocoa beans and ingredients.”
The Swiss chocolatier scoffed and said, “Nonsense, Swiss chocolate is far superior because of our meticulous craftsmanship and smooth texture.”
The Belgian chocolatier just smiled and said, “Ah, but Belgian chocolate is the best because of our unique pralines and fillings.”
Unable to agree, they decided to hold a chocolate-making contest judged by a neutral party. After tasting many delectable treats, the judge declared Belgium the winner. The French and Swiss chocolatiers demanded an explanation.
“Your chocolates were exceptional,” said the judge. “But the Belgian chocolates came with liquor, so no more questions please!”
33. A health inspector walked into a chocolate shop one day and was surprised to find a cockroach making chocolate.
“What are you doing?!” the inspector exclaimed.
“Don’t worry,” the cockroach replied, “I’m making sanitary chocolate.”
The inspector looked puzzled. “Sanitary chocolate? What’s that?”
“It’s chocolate made with clean utensils,” explained the cockroach. “I wash all the bowls, pots, and spoons thoroughly between each batch.”
The inspector thought for a moment and said, “I think the word you’re looking for is sanitized, not sanitary.”
“Oh right,” said the cockroach. “It’s chocolate made by sanitized cockroaches.”
34. Why was the chocolate bar feeling lonely? All of its friends had nuts!
35. What do you call a sad chocolate bar? A blueberry!
36. Why does no one talk to chocolate cake? It always crumbles under pressure.
37. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “I’m sweet on you!”
38. Why did the kid bring a ladder to the candy shop? He was trying to get some high chocolate bars!
39. Why couldn’t the chocolate mousse see its mom? It was on dessert island!
40. What do you call a funny chocolate bar? Laffy Taffy!
41. Why do chocolate chips love baking? They get all warm and brownie inside!
42. Where do chocolate bars go to dance? The peanut butter ball!
43. What do you call a nervous candy bar? A jittery Skittle!
44. How did the chocolate barproposed to his girlfriend? He gave her a Ring Pop!
45. Why do milky way bars day dream so much? They’re always spacing out!
46. What do you call a chocolate bar that cleans your teeth? A dental Flosser!
47. Why did the police arrest the chocolate Easter bunny? He was wanted for various misdemeanors!
48. What do you call a chocolate covered raisin dancing solo? A raisin’ d’être!
49. Why do chocolate chips love comedy shows? They crack themselves up!
50. What did the chocolate bar say when it won the race? “I’m a Marathon!”
