Blizzard Puns
1. I went to get my car after a blizzard and found a thick layer of snow completely covering it. It was a blizzard princess!
2. I wanted to have a snowball fight during the blizzard, but everyone else was too chill.
3. The massive blizzard brought the city to a halt. You could say it was on ice.
4. After the blizzard passed, my street was so icy I felt like I needed skates to get around. It was practically a skating rink-nado out there.
5. The blizzard was so bad I couldn’t see anything out my window. It was a complete whiteout-age!
6. I tried to make a snowman during the blizzard but there was too much wind. I guess you could say there was a chill in the air.
7. We were snowed in after the blizzard so we had a contest to see who could make the best snow sculpture. You could say things got a bit frost-bitten.
8. I wanted to order takeout during the blizzard but all the roads were closed. It was a serious delivery flurry.
9. The massive amounts of snow from the blizzard buried my car. You could say it was having a snow nap.
10. We got so much snow during the blizzard, everything looked like a winter wonderland. It was snow joke!
11. After the blizzard, all the neighborhood kids got together to build snow forts and have a snowball fight. There was a flurry of activity outside.
12. The blizzard brought so much snow that every surface was covered in a thick blanket of white. You could say we got slammed with that storm.
Blizzard One-Liners
13. This blizzard is snow joke!
14. Warning: Heavy blizzard conditions ahead. Snow kidding!
15. Whoa, that’s a crazy amount of snow! Looks like a snow-nado hit!
16. Stay home today unless you want to be snowed in somewhere. I’m not flaking around.
17. I wanted to make a snowman but this blizzard keeps blowing my plans away!
18. Freezing temps, heavy snow, high winds? Sounds like the perfect day to chill inside with hot cocoa.
19. Boss: “Sorry, looks like you’ll have to work from home today because of the blizzard.” Yesssss! A snow day!
20. This blizzard has everything on ice. Roads? Closed. Schools? Closed. Me leaving my house today? No way, Jose!
21. Shoveling snow during a blizzard is like mopping your floors while the sinks overflowing.
22. Blizzard pro tip: Just stay home, get cozy and binge watch TV. Going out in that mess will snow doubt end badly.
Best Blizzard Jokes
23. After a huge blizzard hit, the husband was standing by the window admiring how much snow had accumulated on the ground. His wife walks up behind him and says sarcastically, “Weather sure is nice outside, dear. Too bad the snowplow hasn’t come by yet. Guess you’ll have to dig out the driveway by yourself.” The husband calmly replies, “Why’s that? I’ve got the world’s best snowblower right here.” His wife looks confused until the husband points at her and says, “You, sweetheart. Now get your boots on.”
24. A family gets snowed in their house for days after a massive blizzard hits their town. After a few days of being stuck inside, they run out of food and supplies. The dad decides to tie some ropes together and climb out of the second story window to head into town. After several grueling hours trekking through waist-high snow, he finally arrives at the supermarket to gather food and other essentials. The cashier looks at him in disbelief and asks how he managed to get there in such horrible conditions. The dad replies, “It wasn’t easy. I had to snowshoe down here.”
25. A huge blizzard sweeps through a small town, trapping residents in their homes. After a few days, one man gets so bored that he decides to build a snowman to pass the time. He works for hours sculpting an enormous snowman right in the middle of the town square. When the snow finally stops, he grabs a ladder and climb’s up to stick on the head he’d made earlier. Right before placing it on top, he realizes the wind had blown away part of the base. He sticks his head inside and shouts, “Can someone bring me more snow? There’s a big gaping hole in my snowman’s bottom!”
26. After surviving several days trapped in their homes due to a severe blizzard, two neighbors finally dig out their driveways and emerge from hibernation. They meet at the end of their driveways to chat. One of them looks at the huge piles of snow everywhere and says, “Man, that was a rough one. I actually ran out of food and had to eat my own cooking!” The other neighbor shakes his head and replies, “You think that’s bad? I ran out of food and had to eat my own jokes!”
27. A blonde gal is tired of the constant blizzards in her town, so she decides life would be easier if she moved to the Caribbean. After taking care of the preparations, she drives to the airport and gets on her flight. As the plane passes over her town, she looks out the window and spots a car covered in snow driving very slowly down the road. She starts laughing hysterically and says, “Ha! That’s probably my ex-boyfriend still looking for me!”
28. After a massive blizzard, a farmer wakes up to find his prized cow completely frozen in a huge block of ice out in the pasture. In a panic, he starts building a fire right next to it to slowly thaw the ice. After hours of sitting by the fire, the farmer starts dozing off. Suddenly, the block of ice melts enough for the cow to break free. It takes a deep breath and says, “Man, that’s the last time I do ice shots with the bull.”
29. An eccentric billionaire gets bored during a lengthy blizzard, so he decides to hire someone to write his jokes for him. He posts an ad that says “Seeking comedy writer to pen hilarious jokes about snow. Generous pay! Must be willing to sign NDA.” The next day, he receives a response from one applicant that simply reads “Let me know if you need any more snow jokes. I’ve got a flurry of them!”
30. After a huge blizzard, two farmers are chatting over the fence between their properties, when one looks over and notices something strange in his neighbor’s field. He sees rows of snowmen lined up perfectly across the whole pasture. He calls out, “Hey Bob! Whatcha got all them snowmen out there for?” Bob replies, “Oh those aren’t snowmen. Those are my cows. I just haven’t found them yet!”
31. A man wakes up after a long night of drinking to find his town buried under feet of snow from an overnight blizzard. In a panic, he searches everywhere for his car but can’t find it. Hours later when the snow finally melts, he discovers his car parked on top of his neighbor’s roof. His neighbor sees him staring up in shock and yells, “Yeah, I know. Crazy night, huh?”
32. After surviving being snowed in for a week from a massive blizzard, a man goes a bit stir crazy in isolation. When the snow finally melts, he runs outside and sticks his tongue to a stop sign just to interact with something. A cop sees him and says, “Hey buddy, you ok?” The man replies, “Oh yes officer! Just getting reacquainted with civilization!”
33. On the first day of Spring after surviving an endless winter of blizzards, a wife turns to her husband and says, “I’m so glad the snow finally melted. I was worried I’d have to keep shoveling until next Winter.” The husband shakes his head and says, “Nah, don’t worry. Global warming will take care of the rest.”
34. After a severe blizzard, a man’s friend goes to check on him and finds the guy starting up a snowblower in his living room. When the friend asks what he’s doing, the man replies “Just warming up the snowblower before I start clearing off the roof.”
35. A woman moves to Alaska from sunny Florida. Her first year there, a big blizzard hits and buries her cabin under 15 feet of snow. She waits patiently for a rescue crew to dig her out. Weeks later when they finally reach her door, she welcomes them in and says “Hey fellas! Nice of you stop by, but I’m all good here. I’ve got plenty of food and books to keep me going til Spring.”
36. Two blondes are sitting in a cafe chatting during a blizzard. One says “All this snow reminds me of dandruff.” The other blonde replies “Really? Why?” The first blonde responds “Because it’s white and on top of the head!”
37. A family gets snowed in for a week during a severe blizzard. By the fifth day, they run out of food and are desperate. The dad and son shovel snow like crazy trying to make a path to the nearest store. When their clearing finally reaches the front door, the dad turns to his family and announces “Alright, I’m heading out for supplies. Anything special you want me to look for at the store?” His wife takes a deep breath and says “Yes sweetie, see if they have snowshoes.”
38. On the first morning after surviving a bad blizzard, a man walks outside and shouts “Man! I think this was the worst storm this town has ever seen. Just look at all the damage, we even lost power for two days straight!” His neighbor emerges from his equally snow-covered home and replies “Storm? I just thought I forgot to pay my electric bill again.”
39. After a blizzard dumped 4 feet of snow, blocking the exit to his driveway, a man just shrugs and tells his wife “No problem! I’ll just pay one of the neighbor kids $20 to climb out my bedroom window and shovel a path so I can get to work.” His wife looks at him like he’s crazy and says “But we live on the second story, that’s dangerous! I think you need to come up with a better plan.”
40. A family gets snowed in for weeks after an enormous blizzard. When the father finally manages to tunnel through and get outside, he immediately forms the snow in their yard into the words “Send food”. The next day a news helicopter flies over and sees his message. They report on the air “Local man survives for weeks trapped in his home after record-breaking winter storm.”
More Best Blizzard Jokes
41. I tried to catch snowflakes on my tongue during the blizzard, but I got hit by a bunch of them because of the wind. You could say I was feeling a little flurry of blows.
42. Everyone in town was shocked by the massive blizzard that appeared without warning. It really came out of snow-where.
43. The ski resorts were psyched about the huge blizzard headed their way. For them, it was snow problem at all.
44. Meteorologist: “Expect heavy snowfall in your area tonight due to an approaching winter storm.” Me: “Thanks for the snowly forecast, I appreciate it.”
45. I wanted to order a pizza last night but the blizzard made the roads too dangerous for any deliveries. I was craving it snow badly!
46. Even polar bears think it’s too cold during a blizzard. When it gets that frigid, you know snow’s a joke.
47. Today’s weather: blizzard with a 90% chance of Netflix and chilling inside where it’s warm.
48. Freezing temps, whiteout conditions, strong winds? Yup, I’d say this blizzard is at peak ferocity. What a snow beast.
49. News: Heavy blizzard headed your way bringing 2 feet of snow!
My brain: I can work with that. Cue snowman building montage!
50. I love waking up after a blizzard and seeing the neighborhood transformed into a magical snow globe. Snow doubt about it, that first morning is breathtaking.
51. I was going to host a huge snowball fight after this blizzard but nobody else wanted to come outside in the cold. I felt so defeated and slushified.
52. Boss emailing everyone last night: “Take your laptops home, blizzard coming!” Yesss, snow day approved!
53. This nonstop blizzard is so cold even polar bears are shivering. When it gets this icy, no one’s in their element.
54. Blizzards always make me want to rewatch snow classics like Frosty The Snowman and Snow Day. I’m just drawn to them, must be the flurry of nostalgia.
55. Shoveling snow during a raging blizzard is about as pointless as mopping the floor while the sink is overflowing.
56. I wanted to make a snowman army during the blizzard but my wife said she’d divorce me if I brought that much extra snow inside.
57. Met Office issues severe blizzard warning telling everyone to stay off the roads today. My boss emails saying I’m still expected at work…over his frozen dead body.
58. This blizzard has transformed our street into a magical, quiet snow globe world. Everything is so calm, peaceful and flurry.
59. Freezing wind? Near whiteout conditions? Not ideal running weather if you ask me. I’m staying in where it’s warm and bingeing Netflix. This blizzard can pass me snow thanks.
60. The news says this blizzard is a once in a lifetime storm. Yeah right, I hear that snow year.