Ball Puns
- I wanted to make a ball pun, but knew I would just drop it.
- My friend got hit in the groin and was curled up in the fetal position. I told him to try and get a ball.
- I was going to tell a pun about balls, but I didn’t have the balls to say it.
- The magician made the ball disappear. It was now all an illusion.
- I lost my bouncy ball yesterday. It’s really got me down.
- My friend got kicked in the groin and I told him to walk it off, ball is in your court.
- I used to juggle balls, but I dropped the ball on that hobby.
- The ball is in your court if you want to hear a ball pun.
- Don’t have a ball when you hear my next pun.
- Let me know if my ball puns are too cheeky.
Ball One-Liners
- My friends say I have a real ball at parties.
- They told me to stop with the ball puns but I refused to drop it.
- I’d tell you a joke about balls, but it’s a little off-color.
- I was going to tell a dry ball joke, but it wasn’t my ball game.
- Did you hear about the ballerina who hurt her groin? She needed physical therapy to get back on pointe.
- I played tennis but I kept missing the ball. The coach said I needed more practice to improve my backhand game.
- I like telling jokes about balls. It lets me get a rise out of people.
- Don’t start beef with me about balls, I’ll meatball you away.
- A Freudian slip is when you say one ball thing but mean your mother.
- My friend got hit in the balls and said “this hurts my balls.” Always stating the obvious.
Best Ball Jokes
21. A man went to the doctor because he had tennis elbow. When asked how he got it, the man replied, “Well, my wife and I have been trying to have a baby for over 5 years now with no luck. So we decided to give IVF a shot. I’ve been having to make many donations over the past few months.” The doctor then said, “I understand. Making all those deposits could definitely cause tennis elbow. The good news is I can prescribe a topical ointment that should clear it up.” To which the man excitedly replied, “You can get my wife pregnant from a topical ointment?!”
22. How do you know if you have a high sperm count? When your wife has to chew before she can swallow.
23. What does a Louisville Slugger and my penis have in common? They both come in wood, aluminum, and composite.
24. My friend Samir got kicked in the balls really hard yesterday. In sympathy pains, I felt that one rattling around my own balls. It’s true what they say, Bros feel each other’s pain in the balls.
25. What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A mouth full of balls.
26. I played basketball with some friends yesterday. One guy kept blocking all my shots and racking up points. By the end he was basically just teabagging me on the court. My boys were definitely deflated after that embarrassing loss.
27. Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Because if they pulled up the other one they’d fall over.
28. I was at church and tucked my balls into my waistband to hide my boner. Let’s just say things went south when I stood up to sing hymns.
29. Did you hear about the guy with 5 balls? His underwear fits him like a glove.
30. My girlfriend broke up with me because apparently I talk about my balls too much. I said to her “That’s nuts!”
31. What’s the last thing that goes through a fly’s mind as it hits the windshield? Its ass.
32. I was feeling lonely so I got a pet hamster. I named him Ballsonaro. He’s got huge fuzzy balls that fill up his whole cheek pouch area.
33. My doctor told me I have to stop masturbating. When I asked why, he said “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
34. I lost my virginity to a girl with a lazy eye. I thought she was winking at me but turns out she was just looking at my balls.
35. How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give the bitch a shovel.
36. What’s the difference between jelly and jam? You can’t jelly a ball into someone’s ass.
37. My friend got kicked so hard in the nuts we now call himunset boule-vard.
38. I was playing tennis and aimed right for my opponent’s balls. My friend said I really aced that dick shot.
39. Did you hear about the guy with 5 balls? His boxer shorts fit him like a glove.
40. Why do flamingos only lift one leg up? Cause if they picked up the other one they’d fall over.
41. My wife asked me to pass her lip balm but I accidentally gave her Super Glue instead. She still isn’t talking to me.
42. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. It’s very hard to put it down.
43. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
44. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.
45. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
46. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
47. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
48. I’m addicted to brake fluid. But I can stop whenever I want.
49. They said I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen the look on their faces as I drove pasta.
50. I made a graph of all my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
51. Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
52. I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..
53. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
54. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
55. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kinda shady.
56. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
57. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
58. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
59. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
60. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
61. I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
62. She didn’t want me to buy Velcro shoes. Too bad I’m stuck on her.
63. I lost my dog and wife at the mall. I’ve been going from store to store looking for them. I’m pretty sure they’re in clothing.
64. I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels. She didn’t know I existed.
65. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
66. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
67. I wanted to write my own version of Fifty Shades of Grey from the bicycle’s perspective but decided it was just a spokes model.
68. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
69. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where’s Pop Corn?
70. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
71. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
72. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
73. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
74. I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
75. I tried catching fog yesterday. Mist.
