Air Conditioning Puns (20)
1. I got fired from my job at the AC factory. It was too much vent-ilation for me.
2. Why was the AC unit sad? It had the blues.
3. I was going to tell a joke about air conditioners, but it wouldn’t go over very well.
4. Did you hear about the criminal AC unit? It was charged with a-salt.
5. My AC broke down last week. It really blew.
6. I bought a voice-activated air conditioner. It responds to any fan request.
7. Why did the AC technician get arrested? For resisting a vent.
8. I installed a new AC unit today. It was a breeze.
9. The AC repairman came over and said my unit lacked ductility. What a flake!
10. I’m thinking of taking my AC to get repaired. I hope they can fix its conditioning.
11. The AC companies are making a killing this summer. You could say their profits are sky high.
12. My AC is set to 64 degrees. You could say it’s cool beans.
13. What do you call an air conditioner that skips work? A truant cooler.
14. Did you hear about theair conditioner that was feeling down? It needed its spirits lifter.
15. Never trust an AC unit, they’re shifty vent-ilators.
16. I thought my AC was broken, but it was just in a cold war with the heater.
17. Did you hear about the hot new single from the AC? It’s blowing up the charts!
18. My AC unit and I got into a heated debate. It blew hot air the whole time.
19. I tried to sue my AC company but they gave me the cold shoulder.
20. Did you hear about the AC that was knighted? It became Sir Cooler.
Air Conditioning One-Liners (20)
21. My AC is so old, it belongs in a museum.
22. Whoever invented air conditioning deserves a Nobel ‘Cool’ Prize.
23. My AC is either freezing or hotter than the Sahara, there’s no in-between.
24. They say patience is a virtue, but waiting for the AC repairman on the hottest day of the year tested mine.
25. If your AC repair estimate gives you chills, maybe it’s time to call a new company.
26. My AC works harder than a one-armed boxer trying to thread a needle.
27. They say love makes the world go ’round, but during summer, I’m pretty sure it’s air conditioning.
28. Don’t you hate it when someone turns down the AC and you suddenly can’t breathe? Just me?
29. I don’t always test my AC, but when I do, I crank that baby up to the max.
30. My air conditioner works great, as long as I don’t need cold air.
31. Trust me, you haven’t experienced true Zen until you’ve meditated in a room with perfect air conditioning.
32. Why is air conditioning so expensive? Are they shipping each Freon molecule one by one?
33. I’m convinced whoever controls my office AC temperature just really hates people.
34. My car’s AC works perfectly when I don’t need it, and terribly when I do. Funny how that happens.
35. Whoever said “less is more” clearly never experienced the sublime perfection of an ice-cold air conditioned room on a hot summer day.
36. My AC must think it’s still winter, because it’s blowing cold air like crazy in here.
37. Nothing tests a relationship faster than trying to agree on an air conditioning temperature.
38. They say money can’t buy happiness, but have you tried cranking the AC on a hot summer day?
39. I’m pretty sure my office AC is stuck permanently on “meat locker.”
40. My car AC has two settings: off and arctic tundra.
Best Air Conditioning Jokes (20)
41. Last week my air conditioner broke down. The repairman charged me an arm and a leg to fix it. Now the air conditioner works great, but it cost me an arm and a leg.
42. I was sweating buckets in my apartment with the air conditioner broken. So I called my landlord and said, “Hey there’s something wrong with my AC, can you send someone to fix it?” He said, “Sure, I’ll send someone right over.” Hours went by and no one showed up. Finally I called the landlord back furious. He said “Hey did you get my message? I texted you hours ago that someone was coming.” I said “No I didn’t get any text from you.” He said “Oh, I must have missed your number and texted the guy who was coming to fix your AC instead.”
43. My wife was complaining about how the AC was blowing cold air right on her. I said, “Honey, why don’t you just move your seat?” She said, “I can’t, I’m the pilot!”
44. I was walking down the hot Vegas strip last summer when right outside Caesars Palace, a woman comes running out screaming “He’s got a gun!” People start panicking and scrambling in all directions. Then I see a crazed man run out waving a gun right behind her. He yells “Where did she go?? I’m going to blast this AC and give everyone some relief!” He pulls the trigger to reveal an industrial sized portable AC unit hooked up to a gas powered generator. What a summer hero.
45. When I was a kid, we were so poor that in the winter, my dad would steal air conditioners from other people’s houses just so we would have a space heater. One time a neighbor caught him and threatened to call the cops. My dad fell to his knees begging, “Please sir, my children are freezing! We have no heat, we’re desperate!” The man said “Alright I won’t call the cops, but first you’re gonna have to return all the ACs you took.” My dad pointed to our house and said, “I appreciate you not calling the cops, but the thing is…that’s our house right there.”
46. Why was the air conditioner so sad? It had the blues.
47. What do you call an air conditioner that skips work? A truant cooler.
48. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
49. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
50. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
51. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
52. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
53. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
54. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
55. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
56. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
57. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
58. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
59. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
60. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.