Uhaul Puns
1. I wanted to rent a Uhaul truck, but they were all booked up. It was an unfor-truck-nate situation.
2. I was hoping to move into my new place today, but the Uhaul I reserved got stalled. I guess my move will just have to truck on without it.
3. When I returned my Uhaul truck, the employee said, “Thanks for bringing it back in one piece!” I said, “Yeah, I didn’t want to truck it up.”
4. I saw a Uhaul truck broken down on the side of the road. I guess it couldn’t hack the long haul.
5. I wanted to drive my friend’s Uhaul truck, but he wouldn’t let me. He said I didn’t have enough trucking experience.
6. My friend borrowed a Uhaul truck to move and ended up getting a huge scratch on the side. I told him not to sweat it and keep on trucking.
7. I don’t trust those Uhaul trucks that look beaten up. There’s no telling how much mileage they have or how roughly they’ve been trucked.
8. Make sure you inspect your Uhaul truck before hitting the road. You don’t want any surprises down the haul.
9. I saw a Uhaul truck trying to drive under a low bridge. Let’s just say it didn’t trucking fit.
10. Don’t overload your Uhaul truck or it won’t be able to haul all your stuff. Too much junk in the truck can really muck up your move.
Uhaul One-Liners
11. I rented a Uhaul to help my friend move, but after loading it we realized the truck was stick shift – it was a manual labor move.
12. I just used a Uhaul truck to move my mattress – talk about a soft haul!
13. My Uhaul truck broke down on the highway, so I called roadside assistance – they sent a tow truck to truck me away.
14. Rented a Uhaul to move my furniture but ended up denting the truck – guess I don’t know my own hauling strength.
15. Moved apartments using a Uhaul truck and hurt my back carrying boxes – that’s the last time I try to do the heavy hauling myself.
16. The Uhaul truck I rented wouldn’t start this morning – it was a real moving disappointment.
17. I loaded up the Uhaul truck and headed out, but got a flat tire a few miles down the road – not the kickoff to the move I was hoping for.
18. Rented a big Uhaul truck to move my studio apartment – probably could have just hauled it all in a compact car.
19. Tried to save money by renting the smallest Uhaul truck possible – turns out my stuff requires a much bigger haul.
20. Moved with the help of a Uhaul truck yesterday – I’m so sore today it hurts to even haul myself out of bed.
Best Uhaul Jokes
21. I was running late to return my Uhaul truck so I hauled it down the highway at 90 mph. The cop that pulled me over said “Where are you off to in such a hurry?” I said “Sorry officer, I’m just trying to avoid any late fees!”
22. My GPS kept directing me to drive the Uhaul truck off road. I guess it thought it was an all-terrain vehicle!
23. I tried to use a Uhaul truck to transport my chickens across town. Let’s just say the trailer got really fowl really fast.
24. The guy at Uhaul told me “The truck you reserved got in an accident, but we have this smaller one available.” I said “You mean you have to downsize my expectations for the move?!”
25. I was feeling hungry during the long drive in the Uhaul truck, so I pulled into a drive-thru. The kid at the window said “Sorry, no trucks allowed!” Talk about a let down.
26. Uh oh, the Uhaul truck I rented won’t start and I’m supposed to be moving today. I guess the only thing getting moved now is my move in date!
27. I came out of the gas station and saw someone had sideswiped the Uhaul truck I was driving! Thank goodness for insurance – crisis averted.
28. The weekend I rented the Uhaul truck just happened to have the worst thunderstorm in years. I was more focused on keeping it on the road than hauling my stuff!
29. I tried to use the Uhaul truck to pick up lumber from Home Depot but didn’t secure it properly. Let’s just say there were some spilled wood on the highway.
30. The Uhaul truck I rented was infested with cockroaches. I went from moving apartments to moving insects real quick!
31. I carefully planned what furniture to load in the Uhaul truck but once I started packing boxes, I ran out of room real fast. Note to self: boxes take up space too!
32. Getting the couch out of the old apartment and into the Uhaul truck was like solving a 3D puzzle. At least I got my daily workout in.
33. Who knew driving a loaded down Uhaul truck required so much extra stopping distance? I had to relearn how to brake on the fly.
34. Driving across country in the Uhaul truck I’d stop every few hours for break. By the end, my breaks were the main event, not the hauling.
35. I didn’t secure the furniture properly when loading the Uhaul and heard some big crashes and bangs on the highway. So much for transporting those antiques safely.
36. They say it’s all about the journey, not the destination, but that wasn’t true with the Uhaul full of all my valuables. I just wanted to arrive in one piece!
37. Loading the heavy safe into the Uhaul truck caused it to tip backwards with the front wheels in the air! Not an ideal moving day situation.
38. Who knew Uhaul trucks had such bad blind spots? I kept trying to change lanes and almost crashing into other vehicles.
39. Halfway through the drive, the “check engine” light came on in the Uhaul truck. Because road trips are so much better with mechanics visits.
40. Even using ratchet straps, the bookshelf I loaded in the Uhaul truck somehow collapsed sideways. Gravity always wins.
41. Getting the old tube TV down 3 flights of stairs and into the Uhaul truck was quite the logistical challenge. But we hauled it off!
42. Thought I could move everything solo in one Uhaul load, but quickly realized I needed about 5 friends’ help loading up the truck.
43. Even with furniture pads, loading the antique table into the Uhaul scratched it up quite a bit. So much for gently hauling.
44. Tried to slowly reverse the Uhaul truck but misjudged and backed into a light pole instead. That hurt the wallet and ego.
45. The forecast called for sunny skies on moving day, but of course a thunderstorm rolled in just as I got in the Uhaul with all my stuff.
46. Getting the mattress up into the Uhaul truck was so awkward, it bent and got jammed sideways in the door frame. Nothing like wrestling a mattress in the rain.
47. The 10 hour drive in the loaded down Uhaul was exhausting. It really makes you appreciate rest stops and ergonomic truck seats.
48. Who knew Uhaul trucks didn’t come with built-in phone holders? Trying to navigate with my phone on the seat was a hassle.
49. Getting to the new apartment, I noticed the Uhaul truck clearance was just an inch below my parking garage. Made it with room to spare!
50. The Uhaul truck sputtered and died as I was trying to merge into highway traffic. Nothing like blocking 3 lanes during rush hour.
51. I tried to move my king size bed in the Uhaul truck but it was 6 inches too wide. Next time I’m measuring before I rent.
52. Getting the Uhaul truck unstuck from the muddy lawn took hours – so much for keeping the move on schedule.
53. Tried putting the bikes in the Uhaul cargo area, but the pedals and gears kept catching and ripping stuff. That’ll teach me.
54. Getting the sleeper sofa around the Uhaul ramp was like an interpretive dance routine. Hopefully the neighbors didn’t watch too closely.
55. Who knew Uhaul floor mats were so slippery? My tool chest kept sliding around even tied down while driving.
56. They say moving is stressful, but mixing moving with loading up a Uhaul truck took it to the next level. I needed a vacation after.
57. I wrapped all my plates and glasses carefully but the ride in the Uhaul truck still caused some casualties. Nothing like sweeping up broken glass at the new place.
58. I tried to move the fish tank in the Uhaul truck with the fish still inside – bad idea. Lets just say there were some leaks.
59. Even with a truck bed extender, my dirt bike barely fit in the Uhaul. Next time I’m renting the extra huge truck.
60. Who knew Uhaul trucks didn’t come with ramps? Had to do some sketchy improvising to load the snowmobiles.
61. Tried to save a few bucks by getting the old, high mileage Uhaul. It overheated and stalled halfway through the trip.
62. Getting the massive L-shaped desk down the narrow stairs and into the Uhaul was like playing high-stakes Jenga. Don’t breathe or it’ll collapse!
63. Turns out the Uhaul insurance I bought didn’t cover scratches – thank goodness the truck came pre-scratched or I’d be charged big time.
64. Getting the California King mattress down the twisty apartment stairs and into the Uhaul was a real feat. But we hauled it off in one piece!
65. Who knew driving a giant Uhaul truck required such large turns? I kept bumping curbs trying to make tight corners.