Tea Puns
1. I’m very down to earth and grounded, you might even call me tea-rrestrial.
2. Want to hear a joke about tea? Aw shucks, it’s too cheesy.
3. What do you call tea that throws temper tantrums? Green tea.
4. My friend got fired from the tea factory for stealing. I can’t believe he took that herb.
5. I only drink tea on days that end in Y. In other words, everydai.
6. I’m reading a horror book about a possessed tea kettle. It’s tea-rrifying.
7. Did you hear about the guy who got hit by a box of tea? He’s lucky it was Lipton him.
8. I bought some shoes made out of used tea bags. They’re great for hipster tea-sers.
9. What do you call an angry cup of tea? Steamed.
10. Want to hear my impression of a mug of tea? “Look at me, I’m a cup of hot tea!”
11. I’m trying to cut back on tea. I just need to take it slowly, one sip at a tea time.
12. I only drink expensive gourmet tea so I can brag to people about my sophisti-tea.
Tea One-Liners
13. I’m very down to earth and grounded, you might even call me tea-rrestrial.
14. I like my men how I like my tea: hot and British.
15. Tea me up, buttercup!
16. Tea and sympathy – that’s all I need.
17. Tea you later!
18. Tea for two and two for tea.
19. You can’t enjoy the tea if you don’t know the tea.
20. Tea today, gone tomorrow.
21. Tea is the only thing keeping me sane these days.
22. Tea: the solution to, and cause of, all of life’s problems.
Best Tea Jokes
23. A man walked into a tea shop and ordered a cup of hot water. The barista asked, “Would you like some tea with that hot water?” The man replied, “No thanks, if I wanted tea I would have ordered it.”
24. My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a joke about tea. I told him “Na, jokes about tea usually fall flat.” He said “Don’t worry this one is steeped in humor.”
25. A tea addict went to rehab. On his first day there, he had to introduce himself to the group. He stood up slowly and said softly, “Hi, my name is Leo… and I’m a tea-aholic.”
26. A man went to a fortune teller and asked her to read his tea leaves. She took one look and gasped “Oh no, this is terrible! I see darkness and danger in your future.” The man smiled and said “That’s coffee grounds.”
27. I ordered a chamomile tea at a cafe but they brought me a floral herbal tea instead. I asked the waitress “Excuse me, I ordered chamomile, not this.” She said “Floral? I hardly even know you!”
28. I was feeling stressed so I made myself a cup of tea. I accidentally grabbed the wrong teabag though, and it turned out to be chamomile. Now I’m even more stressed out because I can’t find my car keys.
29. A tea company was struggling so they decided to branch out into coffee. It was a bold move, but it paid off in the end.
30. My friend is obsessed with drinking tea. He loves it so much that he got a teapot tattoo. Now he’s a Tea Potty Mouth.
31. What’s a tea drinker’s favorite martial art? Taekwon-tea-do! It involves a lot of high kicks while balancing a hot cup of tea.
32. I entered my dog into a talent competition. Her talent is balancing a biscuit on her nose while drinking tea out of a cup. She calls it “Tea Time Tricks.”
33. I took my brother to a tea tasting event. He kept burning his mouth because he wouldn’t wait for the tea to cool down. Now he has first degree tea burns.
34. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
35. Why was the tea grumpy? Because people kept dunking biscuits in it without asking.
36. My friend got me a mug that says “TEA-riffic!” on it. I pretended to love it but tea-ruthfully I hate punny mugs.
37. What kind of tea do sheep drink? Baa bleat tea!
38. Why did the astral tea researcher get fired from his job? He kept going on about seeing tea leaves.
39. My friend refuses to drink any other tea except Earl Grey. She’s such a Tea Snob.
40. What did the tea say to the honey? “You’re so sweet!”
41. What’s a tea lover’s least favorite toenail? The pinkie tea-nail.
42. Why was the Earl Grey tea acting so pretentious? It had airs and grey-ces.
43. I told my wife I was thinking about selling my tea collection. She told me to sleep on it before making any brash deci-teas.