Sofa King Puns (15)
1. I wanted to buy a new sofa but I didn’t have enough cash. I guess I’m just sofa king poor!
2. I spilled wine all over my white sofa. Now it’s more of a sofa king red!
3. My friend brought over his new girlfriend and she sat on my sofa. He said, “Isn’t she sofa king hot?”
4. I was trying to assemble my new sofa but the instructions were confusing. It was sofa king hard to put together!
5. My lazy roommate never helps clean. He just sits on the sofa like a sofa king slob!
6. I tried to move my giant sofa through the front door but it was sofa king big it wouldn’t fit!
7. My sofa is covered in crumbs and stains. It looks sofa king gross I need a new one!
8. I love relaxing on my sofa but my dog thinks it’s his. He hogs the whole sofa like a sofa king jerk!
9. I spilled coffee on a rented sofa. The rental company was sofa king angry when they saw the stain!
10. I tried to carry my sofa upstairs but it was sofa king heavy I dropped it down the steps!
11. My kids jump on the sofa even when I tell them not to. They just don’t sofa king listen!
12. I tried to clean my white sofa but the stain won’t come out! This is sofa king frustrating.
13. I love taking naps on my sofa. It’s so sofa king comfy!
14. I found a sofa on the side of the road. It was free but it smells sofa king bad!
15. I spilled nacho cheese on my suede sofa. It left a sofa king awful stain behind!
Sofa King One-Liners (10)
16. My sofa is so old and worn out, it looks like it’s been through World War Sofa.
17. Don’t bother asking my roommate to help clean the sofa. He acts sofa king childish about chores.
18. This cheap sofa was a waste of money. Buy nice or buy twice they say, and this sofa king sucks!
19. My dog likes to scratch our sofa. Our leather sofa king hates him!
20. I found a spring poking out of my sofa. Well that’s just sofa king great!
21. I spilled wine on my friend’s new white sofa. Talk about sofa king embarrassing!
22. I tried to fit my huge sofa through a small door. Don’t you just hate when life gets sofa king complicated?
23. I stubbed my toe on the sofa leg. Sofa king ouch that hurt!
24. Our sofa is covered in toddler fingerprints. Sofa king adorable and gross at the same time!
25. I love cuddling with my kids on the sofa. Those are the sofa king best moments.
Best Sofa King Jokes (20)
26. Last night my wife asked me to pass her a pillow while we were sitting on the sofa watching TV. I picked up a decorative sofa pillow and pretended to throw it at her. When she put her hands up to block it I said, “What’s wrong? I was just going to give you this pillow, sofa king!” She didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did.
27. Yesterday my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if he could borrow some sugar. I told him I didn’t have any. As I started to close the door he put his foot in the way and asked “Are you sofa king sure you don’t have any sugar I could borrow?” I still didn’t think it was very funny.
28. My boss called me into his office first thing this morning. He told me that someone had reported hearing inappropriate jokes at the office recently. He asked me point blank “Have you been telling any sofa king jokes around the office lately?” I denied everything of course.
29. I recently inherited a beautiful antique sofa from my grandmother. The upholstery is a bit worn but overall it’s in great shape for its age. My husband keeps pestering me to get it reupholstered, but I refuse. I know my grandmother would say “Don’t you go changing that sofa king thing!”
30. Why did the sofa make such a great babysitter? Because it was sofa king good with the kids!
31. What happened when the aggressive sofa got into a fight with the armchair? It beat the stuffing out of it!
32. My daughter just got married and bought a new house. She and her husband went sofa shopping but couldn’t agree on what to get. I told them, “Hey, it’s your sofa king house – pick whatever sofa you want!”
33. What do you call a sofa that belongs to royalty? A throne sofa!
34. How do you fix a torn sofa? With a patch of sofa king material!
35. Why was the lazy sofa out of breath? Because it didn’t want to get up off its cushion!
36. Did you hear about the extra-fancy luxury sofa? It was sofa king awesome!
37. What happened to the sofa who kept cracking bad puns? It got booed off the stage!
38. Why don’t vampires keep sofas in their homes? Because they prefer coffin lounging!
39. How did the sofa win the argument with the armchair? It had the better couch of action!
40. Why was the messy sofa embarrassed when guests came over? Because its cushions were so sofa king dirty!
41. What kind of sofa does a foodie love the most? A buffet sofa!
42. How do you know when a sofa is getting old? When it’s beyond sofa-pair!
43. Why did the sofa blush when the family sat down to watch TV? It was feeling a bit sofa king awkward!
44. What do you call a sofa that’s been knighted by the Queen? Sir Sofa!
45. Why did the sofa get in trouble at school? For goofing sofa king much in class!