Skydiving Puns
1. I wanted to go skydiving, but I got cold feet at the last minute. I guess you could say I chickened out.
2. My friend was bragging about going skydiving soon. I told him to quit trying to drop the mic.
3. Did you hear about the skydiver who brought a parachute to a bungee jumping competition? What a drag!
4. Why are parachutes so wrinkled? They get stressed out a lot.
5. The skydiving instructor asked his student, “Are you ready for your first solo jump?” The student gulped and said, “I’m trying to keep an open mind.”
6. I wanted to go skydiving but the plane got cancelled due to high winds. Talk about an air let down.
7. Did you hear about the skydiver who jumped without their parachute? They wanted to experience a moment of shear terror.
8. My skydiving instructor said I was a natural. It was just beginner’s luck.
9. I took up skydiving to get over my fear of heights. Now I have an entirely new fear of heights.
10. I was shaking like a leaf before my first skydive. But after I took the plunge, I felt on top of the world.
11. My friend couldn’t decide whether to go skydiving or bungee jumping. I told him to take the plunge either way.
Skydiving One-Liners
12. Skydiving is the ultimate leap of faith.
13. Skydivers do it from above.
14. Caution: Skydiver crossing.
15. Gravity? Never heard of her.
16. I got 99 problems but jumping out of a plane ain’t one.
17. Born to fly, forced to walk.
18. Gravity? Nah, I’ll pass.
19. Flying high without wings.
20. Adventure is just a leap away.
21. Life’s too short to stay grounded.
22. Cloud 9 is just a jump away.
23. I pretend I have a parachute.
24. Gravity shmavity.
25. I came in like a wrecking ball…without the wrecking part.
Best Skydiving Jokes
26. A man went skydiving for the first time. After jumping out of the plane, he pulled the ripcord but nothing happened. He tried again but still nothing. He started panicking as he plunged toward the earth. Finally, about 100 feet from the ground, the parachute opened. The man floated gently to the ground, relieved. When he landed, he saw a woman running toward him, waving her arms and yelling, “Did your parachute just open? That’s incredible! Mine didn’t!”
27. On his first skydive, Frank was so nervous that his friends decided to play a little prank. They told him the ripcord to open the parachute was very hard to pull. So when they jumped out of the plane, Frank pulled the ripcord with all his might. He was surprised when his backpack opened and all his clothes and belongings came flying out. His friends had packed his regular backpack instead of a parachute.
28. Tom went skydiving but had a less than perfect landing. A few days later, his friend asked him, “How did that skydiving trip go?” “Well,” said Tom rubbing his backside, “I can’t say my landing was the smoothest.” His friend chuckled, “Yeah, I heard your touchdown was a little rough.”
29. An experienced skydiver was getting ready to jump with a first-timer. He explained how the jump would work and reminded him several times that he needed to count to ten after jumping before pulling the ripcord. They jumped out and the newbie immediately pulled the cord. The instructor screamed all the way down, “What did I tell you!?” The student shouted back, “What? I can’t hear you!”
30. On their first tandem skydive, James kept fidgeting as they were about to jump out. The instructor said, “Nervous?” James replied, “No, it’s just that when I’m really scared, I can’t stop myself from tapping my feet.” The instructor laughed and said, “I’m nervous too but you don’t see me tapping my feet.” James said, “That’s because we’re not tied together at the feet!”
31. Bill was an awful skydiver. On his 12th jump, his parachute failed to open properly. As he plunged toward the earth, he spotted a fellow jumper swooping down alongside him. “Do you know anything about parachutes?” Bill shouted over the wind. “No!” the other jumper replied, “Do you know anything about gas stoves?”
32. Dave was visiting Hawaii when he decided to go skydiving. After the jump, his Polynesian instructor said to him, “How was your leap into the sky, my friend?” Dave shrugged and said, “Eh, it was mokay.”
33. Why don’t ants ever go skydiving? Because it would be way too high risk.
34. Did you hear about the skydiving team that used umbrellas instead of parachutes? They encountered a lot of resistance.
35. Why do frogs hate skydiving? It seems too hop hazardous to them.
36. Did you hear about the skydiving chicken? It had a fowl landing.
37. I went skydiving recently but my parachute wouldn’t open. Luckily I was wearing my swimming trunks.
38. What do you call a psychic midget who escapes from prison and goes skydiving? A small medium at large.
39. I went skydiving for the first time last week. People said it would be a breathtaking experience but I lost my breath on the way down.
40. I was shaking with fear as I jumped out of the plane to go skydiving. But after I pulled the ripcord, I felt beside myself with joy.
41. Why don’t oysters go skydiving? Because it’s too shell shocking.
42. Did you hear about the skydiver who brought a car door with him? He wanted a parachute.
43. I wanted to go skydiving but I have a fear of heights. So I compromised and went subway diving instead.
44. What do you call someone who is afraid of skydiving? Chicken.
45. Why can’t dolphins go skydiving? Because they can’t leave the ocean.
46. Did you hear about the angry skydiver? He was furious.
47. What do you call a wizard who goes skydiving without a parachute? A flying sorcerer.
48. Why don’t snails go skydiving? They prefer to keep their feet on the ground.
49. What does a spider think when it goes skydiving? This takes jumping to new heights.
50. Did you hear about the astronaut who wanted to go skydiving on Mars? He heard the experience was out of this world.
51. Why was the skydiver sweating profusely before the jump? His palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy.
52. Did you hear about the skydiver who jumped with a submarine? Now that’s deep diving.
53. I wanted to go skydiving but the plane got cancelled due to high winds. Talk about an air let down.
54. Why don’t eggs want to go skydiving? They don’t want to end up scrambled.
55. Did you hear about the competitive skydiver? She took diving to a whole new level.
56. I wanted to practice skydiving without a parachute but my wife talked me out of it. She said it would be the end of me.
57. Why don’t bankers go skydiving? Because they need parachute loans.
58. Did you hear about the skydiver who landed on a cow pie? Talk about a crummy ending.
59. I was nervous about my first skydive but I put on a brave face. Well, more like a terrified face.
60. What do you call skydiving tech support? Para-troubleshooting.
61. Did you hear about the skydiver who forgot to pack their parachute? They had to wing it.
62. Why are spiders so adept at skydiving? They’re expert web designers.
63. Did you hear about the skydiver who jumped with scissors? That took a lot of shear nerve.
64. I wanted to go skydiving but I got cold feet at the last minute. I guess you could say I chickened out.
65. I was nervous for my first skydive but my friends said I’d get over it. I guess you could say they wanted me to take the plunge.