Roller Coaster Puns
1. I wanted to ride the roller coaster, but I got cold feet at the last second. I guess I chickened out!
2. I heard they’re building a new roller coaster that goes upside down 14 times. That ride sounds like it will turn my world upside down!
3. The new roller coaster has so many upside-down loops, it should be called the Vomit Comet!
4. I was feeling sick after riding the roller coaster, but my friend said it would pass in time. I told him “Don’t worry, this too shall loop.”
5. I rode the roller coaster with my dad, but he felt sick and said he was too old for this. I told him “You’ve still got it, pops – you’re just a little rusty on the coasters.”
6. I’m so short that I couldn’t get on the roller coaster. The attendant said I had to be this tall to ride. I guess I came up a little short.
7. I was scared before getting on the big roller coaster, but my friend said I should just screw my courage to the sticking place. So I got some duct tape and taped myself to the seat!
8. My roller coaster phobia causes me to break out in hives whenever I see one. I guess you could say I have an amusement park rash.
9. The roller coaster was so bumpy my false teeth fell out. It really rattled my dentures!
10. I rode the roller coaster after eating a big lunch. Let’s just say everything seemed to loop back around pretty quickly.
11. After riding the roller coaster I felt so dizzy I couldn’t walk straight. I was completely discoastered.
12. I wanted to impress my date, so I pretended I wasn’t scared on the roller coaster. I tried to keep my cool, but she saw right through me – I was white-knuckled the whole time!
Roller Coaster One-Liners
13. I rode the roller coaster with my girlfriend and all she did was scream the whole time – guess she found it un-amusing.
14. They say roller coasters can cause kidney stones…so I named mine the Kidney Crusher.
15. I was fine on the roller coaster until that big drop – talk about the pits!
16. After one ride on the Demonator, I knew roller coasters were not my cup of screaming-in-terror.
17. The roller coaster ride was so rough I felt like I was inside a blender making a puke smoothie.
18. I saw a roller coaster called the Barf-o-rama, truth in advertising!
19. The 90 degree drop on the new roller coaster is perfect if you want to vomit up your shoes.
20. The roller coaster gave me whiplash, but the three hour wait in line gave me crippling anxiety.
21. I got off the roller coaster feeling punch drunk – guess those loops really tossed me around.
22. The only time I screamed louder than on that death-defying roller coaster was when I got my first kidney stone.
Best Roller Coaster Jokes
23. I decided to sneak some snacks on the big roller coaster, but apparently they have cameras, because I got busted for trying to smuggle in contra-ban-d aids.
24. My wife said if I screamed like a little kid on the roller coaster one more time, I’d be riding the couch that night. Hey, I can’t help it if coasters make me a little jittery!
25. After riding the Tornado of Terror roller coaster, I now know what it feels like to be a pair of socks in the dryer.
26. I rode the Vominator roller coaster last night and haven’t pooped right since. That ride really scrambled my insides!
27. I told my girlfriend I’d win her a prize if she rode the Demonator roller coaster with me. She broke up with me right after we got off – guess she got cold feet.
28. My buddy bet me $20 I wouldn’t ride the Hellevator roller coaster. I got on it, but I was screaming so loud he didn’t have to pay up – he’s deaf now.
29. I rode the Tsunami roller coaster after eating about a dozen hot dogs. Let’s just say I added a special sauce on the big vertical loop.
30. Afterriding the Killer Krush coaster, I asked the attendant for a barf bag. He said “Here you go sir, and please – no rush in returning it.”
31. I saw a show about deadly roller coaster accidents right before riding the Bomber. Let’s just say I was gripping those restraints so hard I pulled a muscle in my back.
32. The nausea after riding the Corkscrew 17 times in a row was nothing compared to the stomach flu I got from the sketchy amusement park food.
33. Apparently the adrenaline rush from the Maxx Force roller coaster was too much for Grandpa Bill. Always remember to check the warning signs, folks.
34. I rode front row on the Steel Vengeance and could have sworn I left my stomach back at the first loop. Talk about intense!
35. After getting whipped around on the Wild Ride roller coaster, I now know what it feels like to be a martini at a bachelorette party.
36. I made the mistake of riding the Hell’s Plunge coaster right after eating a chili dog with extra onions. My gas propelled me so hard on the drops I almost floated off the seat!
37. The Zombie Apocalypse roller coaster was so crazy it felt like I was inside a trash compactor. I came out looking like I’d been in the ring with Mike Tyson!
38. Apparently the G-force on the Nitro coaster was so intense it literally made my fillings fall out. Guess I should have listened to the dental work warning!
39. After getting tossed upside down on the Flip Out roller coaster, I checked my pockets and found out the ride literally turned them inside out – change went everywhere!
40. I decided to be brave and sit in the front row on the Dragon Tail coaster. Ended up getting smacked in the face by a giant animatronic dragon tail at 50 mph!
41. The Bat Outta Heck coaster was so scary it made me pray to every religion I could think of. I’m now a certified Pastafarian.
42. I’ll take my chances fighting a sumo wrestler before I get back on the Vortex of Doom roller coaster. That demon ride tried to rearrange my DNA!
43. After surviving the Kraken roller coaster, I now know what it feels like to be Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible trying to disarm a bomb at the last second while poisoned and in a straight jacket.