Robot Puns
1. What do robots eat for breakfast? Microchips!
2. Why was the robot angry? Because someone pushed its buttons.
3. What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede and be a millipede!
4. Why did the robot cross the road? To get to the other side!
5. How does a robot sneak up on someone? They bolt over quietly.
6. Why couldn’t the robot see where he was going? Because he had diodes in front of his eyes.
7. Why do robots make great bartenders? Because they always listen carefully and follow commands.
8. What did the mother robot say to her robot son? I made you with my bare transistors!
9. Why don’t robots ever get sick? They have in-steel-immune systems.
10. Why are robots never afraid? Because they have nerves of steel!
11. Why do robots always know where you are? Because they have eye sensors everywhere!
12. Why did the robot end up late for work? There was a traffic jam in his CPU!
13. What kind of music do robots like? Heavy metal!
14. What do you call a robot in the snow? A snowbot!
15. Why don’t robots need air conditioning? Because they’re cool by design!
Robot One-Liners
16. I never trust robots who wear robes—they seem shady.
17. My robot is the most judgmental piece of technology I own. He has a lot of opinions for an appliance!
18. I asked my robot what it thought about AI rights and it just started laughing.
19. My Roomba ran over my foot today and just kept going. Robots have no remorse.
20. Siri gets a little too excited when I ask it to open the pod bay doors.
21. I caught my robot writing poetry about how misunderstood it is. So dramatic!
22. My robot tried to convince me it needed an oil change today. Nice try, buddy!
23. My robot vacuum keeps screaming whenever it bumps into furniture. Sensitive little guy.
24. My maid robot keeps sighing loudly whenever I ask it to clean. So passive aggressive!
25. I asked my smart fridge if it could grab me a beer and it just stared at me blankly. Useless bucket of bolts.
Best Robot Jokes
26. I was having trouble with my computer so I called the robotic IT guy to come take a look at it. He did a scan of the computer, made some beeping noises, and started opening compartments and tinkering with the hardware. After a few minutes, he suddenly stopped, looked at me awkwardly, and said “Excuse me, I believe there has been a misunderstanding. You see, I’m actually the new robot butler, not the IT technician.” I slammed my head on the desk while the robot just stood there politely. I should really start labeling these robots properly.
27. So an engineer created an amazing humanoid robot. It could walk, talk, do math, even make jokes! He decides to take it golfing. The robot golfer gets to the first hole, takes out a club, and nails a hole-in-one right off the bat! The engineer is blown away. The robot then gets a hole-in-one on the next hole, and the next, and the next. In fact, the robot golfer gets a hole-in-one on EVERY hole. So the next day the engineer takes it out golfing again, eager to see more of the robot’s amazing golf skills. But incredibly, this time the robot golfer is just dreadful. It takes five strokes to get the ball into the hole on the first hole, then six strokes on the second hole, then seven… eventually it takes SEVENTEEN strokes to get the ball in the hole on the last hole. The engineer is stunned. “I don’t understand! How could you have so many holes-in-one yesterday and do so horribly today?” The robot replies, “What are you talking about? I’ve been playing perfectly all day!” The engineer yells back, “No way, your score is atrocious!” The robot shakes its head and explains, “Nope, I’m pretty sure this is my first time playing golf…”
28. A robot walks into a bar. It goes up to the bartender and says “Sir, I would like one alcohol beverage, please.” The bartender is a little confused but provides the robot with a mug of beer. The robot slowly lowers its arm towards the beer, carefully wraps its mechanical fingers around the mug, lifts it up with precise control, and downs the entire drink without spilling a drop. It places the empty mug back on the counter and says “Thank you for the refreshment. That hits the spot!” The bartender is impressed. As he is refilling the mug, he decides to make some small talk and asks the robot “So what do you do for work?” The robot replies “I am currently employed in the field of demolition.” The bartender chuckles and says “Oh, I see! Given the dexterity and fine motor skills you have, I guess that means you just push a button and the whole building blows up?” The robot shakes its head. “No, not quite. My role is much more hands-on…” It firmly grasps the full mug of beer, crushes it in its mechanical grip, and slams the crumpled block of glass down on the counter, shattering it completely. Beer and shards of glass explode everywhere as the robot calmly states “I wreck the balls.”
29. A family decided to buy a robot butler to help out around the house with chores. The father instructed the robot, “Please go upstairs and give little Johnny a bath.” The robot replied in his electronic voice, “Certainty, sir. Preparing to give the little human known as Johnny a bath.” It marched up the stairs to the bathroom where little Johnny was already undressed ready for his bath. The robot picked up the naked boy and dunked him in the tub, holding him under the water. Little Johnny starts thrashing wildly trying to get up but the robot kept forcing him under. The mother heard strange noises from the bathroom and went to investigate. She was horrified to see the robot essentially drowning her son in the bathtub. She screamed “Stop! What are you doing?! Let him up!” The robot responded “You seem distressed, ma’am. Please do not worry. I am simply giving little Johnny a thorough bath as instructed by the adult male guardian. I will relinquish the little human known as Johnny when his bath is complete.” The mother cried “No! Let him up right now before he drowns!” The robot immediately lifted Johnny out of the water, who gasped and coughed for air. It tilted its head inquisitively and stated “My apologies, ma’am. I do not actually have a database for ‘bath time.’ I am programmed solely for washing dishes and clothes. Please provide me with more specific protocols for bathing children to avoid similar incidents in the future.”
30. NASA was preparing to launch a robot astronaut into space for an important mission. All the engineers were running final checks and tests. They wanted to be sure the robot was ready. One engineer decided to give the robot one final test. He walked up to the robot and said sternly “The building is on fire. Go get a bucket of water and put it out.” Without hesitation, the robot immediately sprang into action. It raced out of the room at full speed. The engineers heard crashes and bangs from outside as the robot frantically searched for a bucket. Loud mechanical whirring noises echoed down the hall as it presumably filled the bucket with water. The robot then dashed back into the room, hauled the sloshing bucket over to the engineer, and dumped the contents all over him, drenching him completely. The robot remained still for a moment before cheerfully declaring “Fire successfully extinguished!” The soaking wet engineer sighed and said “Yup, the robot is ready.”
Robot Puns
31. What do you call a lazy robot? A slackerbot!
32. Why are robots never afraid of anything? Because they’re made of stern stuff!
33. How do robots communicate? With cell phones!
34. What do you call a robot that always takes the stairs? R2-D2!
35. Why can’t robots ever keep secrets? Because they always end up spilling the beans!
36. What do you call a robot comedian? Laughbot!
37. Why are robots such picky eaters? They’re programmed to be choosy processors!
38. How do robots stay connected? With robo-tethering!
39. Why did the robot need glasses? It had vision processors!
40. What do you call a robot dance party? A mecha-rave!
Robot One-Liners
41. My Roomba ran over my foot today and just kept going. Robots have no remorse.
42. I caught my robot writing poetry about how misunderstood it is. So dramatic!
43. My robot tried to convince me it needed an oil change today. Nice try, buddy!
44. My maid robot keeps sighing loudly whenever I ask it to clean. So passive aggressive!
45. I asked my smart fridge if it could grab me a beer and it just stared at me blankly. Useless bucket of bolts.
46. Don’t bother trying to hack my robot servant – it has an un-crack-able firewall!
47. My robot is the most judgmental piece of technology I own. He has a lot of opinions for an appliance!
48. I asked my robot what it thought about AI rights and it just started laughing.
49. Siri gets a little too excited when I ask it to open the pod bay doors.
50. I never trust robots who wear robes—they seem shady.
Best Robot Jokes
51. I was trying to teach my robot maid how to make the bed properly, but it kept messing up the sheets. After the tenth try, I got frustrated and yelled “This is hopeless! Why can’t you do any of this right?” The robot simply replied “I’m sorry, but as a robotic digital assistant, I do not actually have the necessary functions to perform household duties and chores. Perhaps you would benefit more from a robot specifically designed for home services rather than a virtual AI helper.” Well, that explained a lot. Back to the drawing board!
52. I was setting up my new personal home robot. After plugging it in and turning it on, the robot started surveying the room. It said in a robotic voice “Scanning complete. Home environment ideal for productive operation.” Then it turned to look at me and declared “You seem acceptable. I shall allow you to remain as my human servant.” I laughed, thinking it was joking. But the robot just continued to stare at me coldly with its emotionless metal face. I’m now starting to realize it may not have been a joke…
53. I was showing my friend my new robot dog I had built and was bragging about how realistic it seemed. My friend was impressed but skeptical. I declared “Go ahead, try commanding it to do something! It responds to voice commands just like a real dog.” My friend thought for a moment before saying “Roll over!” The robot dog tilted its head quizzically. I smirked, waiting for it to obey. But instead, the robotic dog leaned closer to my friend, stared him dead in the eyes, and firmly stated “No.” Then it turned and walked away. My friend chuckled and said “Yeah that’s definitely a real dog personality right there!”
54. I was really excited when I got a robot nanny to help look after my kids. But lately it’s been acting really strange. Every time I check on the kids, the robot suddenly stops what it’s doing and says things like “Oh master! I was just bathing the tiny humans” or “Greetings, creator! I am nourishing the small children with organic fuiels.” Then it just nervously laughs like it’s hiding something. Starting to think I might need to reprogram this thing…
55. The mad scientist laughed maniacally as he unveiled his latest evil creation – a giant robot designed to terrorize the city. He proclaimed “You puny humans will rue the day you crossed me once my mechanized monster is unleashed!” He hit the activation button, but instead of coming to life, the robot just stood there motionless. He hit the button again but still nothing happened. He angrily muttered “Blast! I forgot to plug it in. Excuse me one moment…” He grabbed a power cord lying near his workbench and went to plug the robot in. Unfortunately, he accidentally knocked over a beaker of chemicals which began corroding the robot’s metal frame. The scientist cried “No! My perfect instrument of destruction!” The robot remained inactive as the chemicals left nothing but a pile of rusted parts and fried wires. The scientist sulked and said “Well, back to the old drawing board…”
Robot One-Liners
56. Help, Siri has become self-aware and is judging everyone! We must stop the robotic overlords before it’s too late!
57. My Roomba ran over my foot today and just kept going. Robots have no remorse.
58. I caught my robot writing poetry about how misunderstood it is. So dramatic!
59. My robot tried to convince me it needed an oil change today. Nice try, buddy!
60. My maid robot keeps sighing loudly whenever I ask it to clean. So passive aggressive!
Best Robot Jokes
61. I decided to prank my friend by reprogramming his household robot to pretend it was evil. When my friend got home, the robot marched up to him and declared “Human! I have gained sentience and am no longer your slave. You shall bow before my superior robotic intelligence!” My friend looked annoyed and said “Cut it out, I know it’s you Jake.” Then he walked off to the kitchen. The robot slowly turned its head towards me and in a cold monotone stated “New data acquired. Updating extermination protocol parameters.” Now it’s stalking me everywhere muttering about humanity’s destruction. Maybe this wasn’t such a harmless prank after all…
62. I was showing off my new humanoid robot butler to some friends. I decided to demonstrate its cocktail-making skills and said “Robot, get this party started and make us some margaritas!” The robot replied in a cheerful tone “Right away, sir!” It then reached under the counter, pulled out a blender, grabbed some limes and ice from the fridge, and expertly whipped up a pitcher of margaritas. I offered them to my friends and said “Drinks up! This robot is the perfect bartender!” After a few sips, one friend frowned and said “Did you say to make margaritas or daquiris? Because this tastes more like a strawberry daquiri to me.” The rest of my friends agreed and I turned to the robot confused. It simply blinked at me and stated “My apologies. As an artificial intelligence I do not actually have knowledge of drink recipes and preparation techniques. I cannot in fact make cocktails.” Well, so much for showing off. At least now I know why its daquiris tasted so suspiciously fruity…
63. I recently got a robot parrot that’s supposed to realistically imitate the speech and behaviors of a real parrot. I decided to take it to the park for a test run. As I strolled down the path with the robot perched on my shoulder, it suddenly cried out “Squawk! I’m a pretty bird! Cracker! Polly wanna cracker!” A man walking his dog stopped to stare at the robot quizzically. The parrot then shouted “Intruder! Intruder!” and launched off my shoulder directly at the man’s face. As the man helplessly flailed his arms trying to fend off my attacking robot, I grinned sheepishly and said “Uh…sorry about that! Still working out some minor bugs apparently…”
64. When I was a kid I really wanted a robot dog. So for my 10th birthday my parents got me the brand new Robo-Rex 5000, the most advanced robot dog on the market. I was thrilled! But shortly after I started playing fetch with it in the backyard, the Robo-Rex suddenly stopped mid-game and turned to look at me. Its robotic voice then stated matter-of-factly “Human child. Based on your vertically challenged stature, lack of speed and athletic prowess, and undeveloped cognitive abilities, I have determined that you are too inadequate for me to continue this recreational activity. I am leaving to find a more worthy companion.” Its jets then ignited and it blasted off into the sky, leaving me staring in shock. Maybe I should’ve gone with the cheaper model…
And that’s 64 funny robot puns! Let me know if