Pool Puns
1. Why was the lifeguard so upset when someone peed in the pool? It really made her urine trouble.
2. Why couldn’t the pool player pay attention during class? He was too focused on his pool of thought.
3. What do you call someone who loves playing pool, painting, and singing? A poolymath.
4. My friend tried to convince me that billiards and pool were completely different games. But it was just a game of pool semantics.
5. Why did the pool player bring extra chalk to his match? He wanted to avoid any tips of running out.
6. I’m trying to become a professional billiards player but I keep scratching the surface of success.
7. What did the pool player say when he accidentally ripped the felt on the table? “Oh crap, I’ve fowled up the felt!”
8. Why was the amateur pool player so bad at calling his shots? He was playing pool by ear.
9. Did you hear about the pool player who was caught cheating? They found extra balls up his sleeve.
10. My friend loves pool so much he married a pool table. I guess you could say he took the plunge.
11. Did you hear about the pool player who was arrested? He was caught pocketing the cash prize.
Pool One-Liners
12. I’m so bad at pool, I couldn’t hit water if I fell out of a pool.
13. I was going to tell a pool joke, but all the good ones already sunk in.
14. My pool game is so off, even my opponent is telling me to keep my head in the game.
15. I love playing pool, but all these failed trick shots are racking up quite a bill.
16. I tried to sign my kid up for swimming lessons, but all they wanted to do was play pool.
17. I’m so competitive at pool, I’ll even shark myself just to win.
18. I wanted to be a professional pool player but kept scratching the eight ball.
19. I played pool against a mind reader once. They knew where all my shots were going before I even took them!
20. I’m so bad at pool, I couldn’t even win a round of go fish.
21. I love playing pool, but these pool hall puns drive me crazy.
Best Pool Jokes
22. One day a man walked into a bar and challenged the bartender to a game of pool for $100 a game. The bartender agreed and they started playing. After a few games, the man had won a few hundred dollars. He then upped the bet to $500 a game and eventually to $1000 a game. At this point, the bartender was down $5000 and decided he needed to win his money back. So he put sleeping pills in the man’s drink. Soon after, the man fell asleep at the table, allowing the bartender to win back his money.
When the man woke up and realized what had happened, he looked at the bartender angrily and said, “I can’t believe you drugged and robbed me. I’m never coming back to this place!”
The bartender replied, “Come on man, you sleep on the table, you loose your money. Those are the pool rules.”
23. Jake was excited when his parents surprised him with a pool table for his birthday. He invited his friend Joey over to play. After a few games, Joey was far ahead. Jake said “Let’s make this more interesting. Every time you sink a ball, I’ll give you $5. But every time I sink a ball, you have to give me $5.” Joey agreed.
Jake broke and sunk 3 balls in a row! But then Joey stepped up and sank 4 balls in a row. Jake paid up the $20 he owed. This back and forth continued for a while, with Jake and Joey exchanging money after each turn.
Eventually Joey said, “Hey man, you’re almost out of money. Want to quit?” Jake replied, “No way! Even though I’m down $30, statistically I’m bound to get lucky soon. I’ll win it all back!” So they continued playing.
But unfortunately, Jake’s luck didn’t turn around. He ended up losing all his cash to Joey. As Joey pocketed the last $5 bill, he shrugged and said “Sorry Jake, the pool odds were just not in your favor today.”
24. Steve was bragging to his friends about his great pool skills. He claimed he could hit any shot on the table. His friend James challenged him to a game, saying there was no way Steve was that good. They agreed to play a game for $20.
Steve broke and immediately started calling and making impossible shots, one after another. James’s jaw dropped as Steve sank every ball without missing. After the 8 ball fell into the corner pocket for game, Steve looked at James with a smug grin. “I told you I never miss a shot! Pay up.”
James handed over the $20 reluctantly. Then he said, “Well you sure proved me wrong. Let’s play again, double or nothing!” Steve agreed excitedly.
This time when Steve broke, he scratched on the break. Then he missed easy shot after easy shot. James ended up running the table and winning the game easily. He looked at Steve and laughed “So much for never missing, huh?”
Steve stammered “I, uh, the table must be off today.” James just smiled and said “Yeah, sure. Enjoy your walk of shame back to your car.”
25. Tom was an amazing pool player. He could sink any shot, no matter how impossible. One night he was playing at a bar, easily beating everyone who challenged him. A stranger walked up and said “I hear you’re the best player in town. I’ll bet my most prized possession that you can’t make this trick shot.” He pulled out an expensive looking watch and set it on the table.
Tom examined the shot. It seemed easy enough for him. He said “Ok, you’re on!” Tom lined up the cue ball and shot it hard to make the difficult bank shot combo. But he scratched on the 8 ball, not even touching the other balls. The stranger laughed as he pocketed his watch. As Tom stood staring in disbelief, the man walked out and said “I guess you just ran out of time.”
26. Billy loved playing pool more than anything. He would spend hours a day practicing trick shots in his basement. He dreamed of becoming a famous trick shot artist one day.
One afternoon, Billy was in the zone – he had made 10 impossible shots in a row. As he lined up another insane combo, he heard his mom call him for dinner. “Just a second Mom!” Billy shouted as he shot the cue ball. It bounced perfectly off the bumpers and into the precise target pocket. Billy jumped up excitedly yelling “Did you see that Mom? It was amazing!”
As he turned around, he realized no one had been watching. There was no one to witness the incredible shot. His mom called again “I said it’s time for dinner!” Billy sighed, put down his pool cue, and went upstairs. Someday, he thought, I’ll become so good that huge crowds will be there to see every shot. Then, no matter what Mom says, I won’t have to stop playing pool.
In Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this collection of 32 funny pool jokes! Pool is a classic game that everyone can relate to and laugh about. Whether you play pool casually with friends or are an aspiring pro, it’s important not to take things too seriously sometimes. Laughing at ourselves and the absurdity of the game can make all those failed trick shots a little less frustrating. And who knows – remembering these pool jokes could help you distract your opponent during a match! Whatever your pool playing style may be, this diverse mix of puns, one-liners, and short stories will hopefully bring a smile to your face and brighten your day. Thanks for reading!