Pickle Puns
1. I relish a good pickle pun!
2. Want to hear a joke about pickles? It might be a little dill.
3. What do you call a sad pickle? A melan-dill.
4. Why did the pickle lose the race? It couldn’t ketchup.
5. What do you call a pickle that makes music? A rapper dill.
6. Why did the pickle’s car break down? It was out of juice.
7. I used to be addicted to pickle juice, but I pickled that habit pretty quickly.
8. What did the pickle say when it got hurt? “Ouch, I’m in a bit of a pickle here!”
9. Why couldn’t the pickle open the jar? It was in a bit of a jam.
10. I entered my pickle puns in a contest, but none of them won. What a dill-emma.
11. How does a pickle greet its friend? “What’s up, dill-weed?”
12. What do you call two pickles who get along really well? Best Buds.
13. Why was the pickle teacher angry? Their students were being too silly-dilly.
14. What type of doctor does a sick pickle visit? A pickleologist.
15. How did the pickle win the race? It was well brined.
Pickle One-Liners
16. I relish these pickle jokes.
17. My friend got into some trouble, he’s in quite the pickle.
18. Pickles – They’re kind of a big dill.
19. What do pickles wear to a fancy party? Their dill-dos.
20. Pickle puns? I’m kinda on the fence.21. How does a pickle stop itself from crying? It tries to pickle up.
22. Hey, want to hear a joke about pickles? Ah nevermind, it’s kind of in poor taste.
23. I tried to pickle some jokes for my comedy routine but none of them were funny.
24. You gotta be careful with pickle puns, people might get salty.
25. Pickles give the term “in a jam” a whole new meaning.
Best Pickle Jokes
26. One day a man walked into a grocery store and headed straight for the pickle aisle. He grabbed an armful of pickle jars and brought them to the register. “That’ll be $32.50,” said the cashier. The man’s eyes went wide. “Thirty two fifty?!? For a few pickles??” The cashier shrugged. “Sorry sir, that’s the price.” The man slowly replaced the pickle jars one by one back on the shelf, grumbling to himself. Then he grabbed a single pickle from the shelf, brought it to the register and said, “I’d like to buy this pickle.” The cashier smiled and said, “No problem! That’ll be 25 cents.” The man paused, furrowed his brow, then said, “But I just saw a whole jar of pickles for $8. If I buy them one by one, each pickle is only 25 cents. I don’t get it.” The cashier replied, “You see sir, when you buy things in bulk, you pay less.”
27. A man walked into a bar and ordered a pickled egg. The bartender reached under the counter, pulled out a jar of eggs soaking in vinegar, fished one out and handed it over. The man inspected it closely. “This egg looks kind of old and funky – are you sure it’s good?” “Don’t worry,” said the bartender. “If it sours, I’ve got you covered.”
28. Did you hear about the new pickle diet? People say you can lose up to 5lbs in the first day! The hard part is learning to eat pickles with chopsticks.
29. Why don’t pickles play tennis? Because they get in JAMS!
30. What did the impatient pickle say? “I relish the thought of getting out of this jar!”
31. How do you fix a broken pickle jar? With a cucumber patch!
32. Did you hear about the French pickle who went on strike? He was tired of working for peanuts and wanted bread and butter wages.
33. What’s a pickle’s favorite music? Hip hop!
34. Why don’t eggs tell pickle jokes? They’d crack each other up!
35. Did you hear about the new Lady Gaga song featuring pickles? It’s called “Born This Dill”.
36. How do you fix a broken pickle? With a cucumber patch!
37. What do you call a sad pickle? Depressed!
38. Why did the pickle blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
39. My friend saw a robbery at the pickle factory. She was pretty shaken up but told me she would relish the day in court when she had to give dill-tails to the judge.
40. I tried to make a pun about pickles, but it was a bit of a stretch. Guess I’m in a bit of a pickle!
41. What do you call a pickle that’s been knighted by the Queen of England? Sir Dill!
42. Why was the pickle the last one picked for dodgeball? It wasn’t very athletic but it was a big dill to the team!
43. What’s a pickle’s favorite snack? Computer chips!
44. What do you call a pickle comedian? Dill Cosby!
45. Why did the pickle get detention? For being too sour!
46. How did the pickle win the art contest? It drew the best dill!
47. My friend almost choked eating a giant pickle. Luckily I was there to give the Heim-dill-ich maneuver.
48. What did the baby pickle say to its mom? “Stop trying to pickle me!”
49. Why do pickles make good detectives? They know how to get to the bottom of things!
50. How do pickles vote? With ballot jars!
51. What do you call a funny pickle? Laughin’ gherkin!
52. Did you hear about the pickle who went to jail? His friends kept asking what he did to get into such a brine.
53. Why don’t pickles sunbathe at the beach? They don’t want to burn their dill-icate green skin!
54. What’s a pickle’s favorite dance style? Hip hop!
55. Why was the pickle unhappy at his desk job? He felt like he was in a rutabaga.
56. Where do pickles go on vacation? The Olive Garden!
57. What do you call a lonely pickle looking for love? Single and ready to brine-gle!
58. How did the pickle win over the tomato? With his vinegar charm!
59. Why do pickles make good lawyers? They know how to argue a great case!
60. I wanted to put my pickle puns into a book but the publishers said it was in a bit of a grey area.
61. I tried entering my pickle puns into a contest but unfortunately they weren’t kosher.
62. What kind of car does a pickle drive? A Dill-orean!
63. Why was the pickle late for work? It was caught in a traffic jam!
64. What’s a pickle’s favorite candy? Lemon sours!
