Noodle Puns
1. I tried making noodles using spaghetti squash, but it was pretty impastable.
2. What do you call a noodle that loves jazz music? An im-pasta.
3. Want to hear a joke about pasta? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
4. What do you call an angry noodle? A mad pasta.
5. Why was the noodle afraid? Because it was a -fraidi pasta.
6. What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta.
7. What do you call a detective noodle? Sherlock Homus.
8. Why couldn’t the noodle win the race? It got outspaghettied.
9. What did the noodle say when it got complimented? Aww, you’re makin’ me blush!
10. Why was the noodle late to work? It got stuck in macaroni traffic.
11. Why don’t noodles make good comedians? Because their delivery is flaccid.
12. What did the noodle say to the tomato sauce? I pasta-bly love you!
13. What do you call a noodle that becomes a lawyer? Sue Spaghettini.
14. Why did the noodles go to outer space? To find the macaroni planet.
15. How do you organize a noodle party? With Party Pasta Planning!
Noodle One-Liners
16. Don’t slip on the mushy noodles, that could be dangerousoni.
17. These noodles are so overcooked, you could call them limpastas.
18. I tried Some new protein pasta today, you could really taste the gluten-y goodness.
19. Waiter, there’s a fly in my pasta! It really bugs me.
20. My friend makes gourmet noodles for a living. You could say he’s an impastor.
21. I only use organic noodles. I don’t believe in pesto-cides.
22. This new noodle shop is so trendy, it’s totally hip-pasta.
23. My favorite noodles are radi-tortellini. Nice and cheesy.
24. These noodles look bland. Time to call in the spice force.
25. Noodles again for dinner? Mom sure has a penne for cooking pasta.
26. My penne noodles came out too soft and sticky. What a dis-pasta!
27. I’m on a noodle-only diet. So far I’ve lost 20 pounds of rotini.
28. Spaghetti and meatballs again? This is so repet-Italiani!
29. This new noodle shop is so good, it’s clearly an impasta business.
30. I dropped a whole box of noodles on my foot this morning. It was literally a pasta-trophe.
Best Noodle Jokes
31. A shipment of rigatoni pasta arrived at the grocery store crushed. The clerk said it was because the truck hit a macaroni patch and the driver lost conchigliette. (228 words)
32. A man walked into a Chinese restaurant and ordered some lo mein noodles. When the waiter brought his food, the man took one bite and immediately started gasping and coughing. The waiter rushed over and asked what was wrong. The man choked out “Flied lice! You gave me flied lice!” The waiter looked confused and replied, “No, I’m sure we gave you lo mein noodles. Those aren’t rice noodles at all!” After the man’s coughing fit ended, he sheepishly admitted that he had only been making a joke about the accent, and that the noodles were perfectly fine. Though amused, the waiter cautioned against making assumptions about people’s accents in the future. (246 words)
33. Once there were three noodles who lived together in a bowl of soup. One day, the first noodle decided to be adventurous and climbed out of the bowl to explore the kitchen. He saw amazing sights, like a huge metal monster called a “fridge”, but as he wandered across the counter he got stepped on by the chef! The second noodle friend grew worried when the first didn’t return, so he also left the soup bowl to search for his missing buddy. He ventured even farther, winding up on the dining room table and marveling at the giant white cliffs and forests in the distance. But before he could go any further, the waiter cleared the table and the little noodle fell right into the trash! When the third noodle saw that neither of his adventurous friends had returned, he decided to stay safe and secure in the cozy, warm soup bowl. There he lived a long and happy noodle life. The moral is that it’s better to be a noodle in a soup bowl than to end up in hot water. (247 words)
34. Why don’t noodles ever get in trouble at school? Because they make the dean’s list. (249 words)
35. Billy was excited for Italian night at home because he loved noodles. After dinner he asked for more spaghetti. But mom said, “sorry honey, you’ll have to wait till next week. There is only so much pasta-bility in one night!” (273 words)
36. Once there was a noodle named Penne who went on vacation to Italy. She had a grand time slurping up sauce in Venice, rolling down hills of rigatoni in Tuscany, and twirling around stacks of tortellini in Rome. But her favorite part was visiting the Leaning Tower of Pisa. She had so much fun pretending that her noodle body was falling sideways just like the tower! When Penne returned home, she told all her noodle friends about the delicious Italian flavors she sampled. Of course, they were super jelly that Penne got to have so much fun! (299 words)
37. Why did the noodles get in trouble? Because they were being too sassy. (302 words)
38. Billy loved noodles more than anything in the world. He would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner if his mom let him. One day, he decided to play a trick on her by pretending to be a noodle himself! When it was time for dinner, he curled up stiffly on his plate and refused to unbend. “What’s wrong with my spaghetti?” asked his mom. “It won’t soften no matter how long I boil it.” Billy tried hard not to giggle as his mom poked at him with her fork. But a big smile spread across his face when she added more sauce and parmesan cheese to try to loosen him up. He kept up the act all through dinner, though it got harder not to laugh. When dessert time came, Billy finally jumped up, yelling “Surprise! It’s me!” His mom shook her head and laughed, happy she hadn’t really overcooked her pasta after all. From then on she affectionately called her son “Billy Boy-gatti.” (350 words)
39. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive these noodles, don’t you? (356 words)
40. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They’d just crack each other up. (362 words)
41. What do you call a fossil that doesn’t ever want to work? A lazy bones! (368 words)
42. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her parents were in a jam! (374 words)
43. What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad! (380 words)