Mummy Puns
- What do you call an ancient Egyptian who walks too slow? A mummy shamble.
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to relax and unwind.
- Where do mummies go for a drink? The sahara bar.
- How do mummies communicate? With crypt-text messages.
- Why don’t mummies make good lawyers? They have grave cases.
- What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
- What do you call a mummy who goes on lots of dates? A tomb raider.
- Why did the mummy go on a cruise? He needed a coffin break.
- What do you call a mummy who saves people? A first-aid wrap.
- Why are mummies always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
Mummy One-Liners
- Mummies always keep their enemies under wraps.
- A mummy’s dating profile said he was well-wrapped.
- A mummy bought a lifetime supply of toilet paper and said “I’m stocked up for the afterlife now.”
- If a mummy farts, does that make it a crypt gas?
- A mummy tried online dating but people kept ghosting him.
- Mummies spend centuries trying to get ahead.
- Mummies have an unhealthy obsession with antiquities.
- Mummies spend way too much time hanging around old tombs.
- Mummies are into deadlifting heavy sarcophagi.
- Mummies are always looking for their mummy.
Best Mummy Jokes
11. A mummy walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender asked, “Light or dark?” The mummy replied, “It doesn’t matter, I’m wrapped either way.”
12. A mummy was feeling sick, so he went to see Dr. Imhotep. The doctor said, “Sir, I’m afraid you have a nasty case of pharaoh-ritis.”
13. What do you call a mummy who knows karate? A sarcophagus!
14. A mummy was feeling down in the dumps. His friend asked why he was upset. The mummy said, “I’m just dead tired of being dead all the time.”
15. How do mummies text each other? Hieroglyphics!
16. What’s a mummy’s favorite dessert? Creme of Tutankhamun.
17. Why did the archaeologist have trouble dating the mummy? He was too wrapped up in his work.
18. What do you call a clumsy mummy? A tumbleweed!
19. How do mummies get around? In a sarcophacab.
20. Why don’t mummies make good delivery drivers? They’re too cryptic about directions.
21. What do you call a mummy with a cold? King Sniff-ankhamun.
22. Why don’t mummies tell yo mama jokes? They try not to bring up dead subjects.
23. Why are mummies always sarcastic? Years of degradation will make you bitter.
24. What’s a mummy’s least favorite kind of music? Wrap metal!
25. How do mummies stay in touch? Tombstone Telegram.
26. Why don’t mummies take time off? They don’t want to unwind.
27. What’s a mummy’s favorite play? Romeo and Drooliet.
28. How do mummies bake cookies? With their sarcoughagus.
29. Why don’t mummies tell the truth? They like to fabricate everything.
30. How do mummies stay healthy? They do decom-pressions.
Mummy Puns
- What do you call a mummy who likes swimming? Dead man’s float.
- Why are mummies always tired in the morning? They’re wrapped up in their work.
- What’s a mummy’s favorite breakfast? Mummified toast.
- Where do mummies wash their wraps? The crypt laundromat.
- What’s a mummy’s favorite exercise? Deadlifts.
- How do mummies vote? By raising their left hand.
- What kind of shoes do mummies wear? Open-toad sandals.
- How do mummies stay connected? With their mobile hot-shroud.
- Why do mummies make good scientists? They have cryptic insights.
- What’s a mummy’s favorite martial art? Sarcophagus.
Mummy One-Liners
- Mummies are famous for getting stoned.
- Mummies are stuck in the past and present at the same time.
- Mummies always return from the dead tired.
- Mummies enjoy antiquing for the memories.
- Mummies use curse words frequently.
- Mummies spend all their time in quiet tombs.
- Mummies make excellent librarians since they keep everything under wraps.
- Mummies take hide and go seek very seriously.
- Mummies are obsessed with the afterlife.
- Mummies are known for their dry sense of humor.
Best Mummy Jokes
51. What do you call a mummy who knows sign language? Hands down!
52. Why are mummies such great listeners? They’re inclined to be tomb-stone quiet.
53. What’s a mummy’s least favorite music? Anything modern or upbeat.
54. How does a mummy fix his sandy wrappings? With crypt-aids.
55. What’s a mummy’s favorite holiday? Dead-oween of corpse!
56. Why can’t mummies take time off work? Their jobs have crypt keepers.
57. How do mummies party? They turn up the crypt.
58. Why do mummies make bad therapists? They’re too cryptic.
59. What’s a mummy’s favorite pizza topping? Grave-mushrooms.
60. Why don’t mummies use elevators much? They like to take the crypt steps.