Mozzarella Puns
1. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!
2. What kind of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse? Mascarpone!
3. Why did the cheese want to borrow money? It needed some cheddar!
4. Why was the cheesemaker fired from his job? He got caught stringing provolone!
5. Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy!
6. What do you call a sad slice of cheese pizza? Melancholic!
7. How did the Italian cheese get arrested? It was caught impasta!
8. Why did the customers get angry at the pizza chef? He was grating on their nerves!
9. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
10. Why did the cheese cross the road? It was stringing along!
11. What kind of cheese do you use to coax a bear down from a tree? Camembert!
12. Why was the cheese free of sin? It was provolone!
Mozzarella One-Liners
13. I knead to make a cheesy pizza joke, but I’ll ricotta think of a gouda one.
14. What a grate day for some mozzarella!
15. Mozzarella more cheese puns coming your whey!
16. Mozzarella laugh if you don’t like my cheesy jokes!
17. Did you hear the joke about the cheese? It was pretty Gouda!
18. I camembert to hear another cheesy joke!
19. These cheesy jokes are really muensterly bad.
20. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!
21. I’m really feta up with these cheese jokes!
22. These jokes are so cheesy, they’re practically macaroni.
Best Mozzarella Jokes
23. A man walked into a pizza shop and asked for a pizza with no cheese. The confused worker asked “Sir, are you sure you want a pizza with no cheese?” The man replied “Yes, I’m lactose intolerant and can’t eat cheese.”
The worker shrugged and made a pizza with no cheese. When it was ready, he handed it to the man, who took one bite and immediately spit it out. “This tastes terrible!” the man yelled. “Of course it does,” said the worker, “think about it – it’s just a pizza without the best part!”
24. Three men were stranded on a desert island with nothing to eat but a box of mozzarella cheese. The first man said “I can’t take this, I’m going to kill myself!” and jumped into the ocean. The second man said “I can’t live like this, I’m going to kill myself too!” and also jumped into the ocean.
The third man looked at the cheese and said “I just can’t bring myself to eat this stuff. I guess I’ll kill myself as well.” As he walked towards the ocean, the second man came crawling back onto the beach. “Don’t do it!” he yelled. “The cheese is too stringy, I swam right back to shore!”
25. An excited cook prepared a big bowl of freshly made mozzarella for his friend to try. His friend took a piece, popped it in his mouth, chewed it for a few seconds and said “Yuck, this cheese tastes like rubber!” The cook grabbed a piece and tried it himself. “Hmm, you’re right,” he said. “I knead to work on my technique.”
26. A mouse was caught stealing mozzarella in an Italian restaurant. The angry chef prepared a mousetrap to catch the thieving rodent. That night, the mouse snuck back into the kitchen but noticed the trap. Carefully, he wedged a piece of cheese in the trap to set it off, then enjoyed a feast of the leftover mozzarella. Seeing the triggered trap and missing cheese in the morning, the chef muttered “I’ve been outsmarted by a mouse with a plan!”
27. Why was the mozzarella sad? Because it had low self-esteem.
28. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste and mozzarella!
29. What does a sassy mozzarella say? Provolone!
30. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de brie.
31. My friend got hit in the head with a ball of mozzarella. Don’t worry though, he only suffered minor injuries. The doctor said it could have been a lot mozzarella serious.
32. I ate so much mozzarella yesterday that I kept having cheesy dreams. I guess I really pigged out on the bocconcini.
33. What do you call an angry mozzarella? Irateggino!
34. Did you hear about the cheese that saved the world? It was a real mozzarella hero!
35. I entered a mozzarella in a baking contest but it didn’t win. The judges said it just wasn’t gouda enough.
36. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
37. My friend got married last week but all they served was mozzarella sticks. It was a really cheesy wedding!
38. Why did the cheese cross the road? It was stringing along!
39. What’s a cheese’s favorite sport? Swiss ball!
40. Why was the mozzarella annoyed after yoga class? It felt really stretched!
41. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? De brie was everywhere!
42. What’s the best cheese to hide a horse? Mascarpone!
43. Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
44. What kind of cheese do you use to attract bears? Camembert!
45. Why couldn’t the kid eat her cheese? It was nacho cheese!
46. How did the cheeseburgers get more privacy? They lettuce put up some barriers!
47. My friend thinks these jokes are too cheesy, I think she needs to brie a little more open-minded.
48. What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese!
49. Why was the baby cheese so upset? It was havarti a bad day.
50. How did the cheese feel after vacation? Grate!
Mozzarella Puns
51. Want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Sorry I’ll keep stringing you along.
52. What did the cheese say when it was surprised? Oh my Gouda!
53. Why wasn’t the mozzarella allowed to play cards? It was too cheesy.
54. Which cheese do you use to hide a pony? Mascarpone!
55. What cheese can you use to hide your secrets? Mascarpone!
56. Why did the people start chanting at the mozzarella concert? They just really loved the band Provolone!
57. How do you fix a broken pizza? With mozzarella glue!
58. Why can’t you tell a joke to mozzarella? Because it’s too cheesy!
59. Why did the cook get in trouble for buying too much cheese? He really over-brie’d the budget.
60. How does mozzarella music sound? Pretty Gouda!
Mozzarella One-Liners
61. People say cheesy jokes make them feta up but I think they’re just being muensterly dramatic.
62. I really wanted to make fondue but the cheesy recipe was too expensive for my budget.
63. I eat so much cheese at night that my dreams are practically brie-liant.
64. I entered my homemade mozzarella in a cheese making contest but it didn’t win, talk about rubbin’ me the wrong whey!
65. My doctor says I need to cut back on cheese or I might provolone serious health problems.
66. Did you hear about the annoying cheese? People found it really grating!
67. I’m rally craving some mozzarella sticks right now, it’s a real muenster craving!
68. I tried to make my own mozzarella yesterday but it was a total dis-grate.
69. Wanna hear a pizza joke? Eh nevermind, it’s pretty cheesy.
70. Mozzarella is my favorite kind of cheese, I just really dig the stringy texture!
Best Mozzarella Jokes
71. A woman rushed into a pizza restaurant and yelled “Does anyone here know the Heimlich maneuver?” A man stood up and said “I do!” The woman sighed in relief and said “Oh good, can you teach me? I’m choking on some mozzarella over here!”
72. I had a dream last night that I was eating a giant block of mozzarella cheese. When I woke up, my pillow was gone!
73. What do you call a cheese that is sad? Blue cheese!
74. I ate so much mozzarella last night that I had a nightmare where I was chased by a giant pizza. It was a real mozzarella mare!
75. Why can’t you borrow money from a mozzarella? Because it’s always a little cheesy when you ask!