Mole Puns
1. What do you call a mole who makes holes professionally? A molerat.
2. What do you call a mole that has access to secret or confidential information? A mole informant.
3. What do you call an undercover mole that infiltrates a criminal organization? A mole rat.
4. What do you call a mole that helps you to see better? An opti-mole.
5. What do you call an aggressive mole? A guer-mole.
6. What did the patient say to the dermatologist who removed his mole? Thanks for taking that growth off my back.
7. My friend got into Harvard Medical School because his dad donated a new mole-cular biology lab.
8. Why are moles great baseball players? They know how to hit home burrows.
9. Why shouldn’t you trust a mole? They tend to make things up.
10. What’s a mole’s favorite type of music? Underground hip hop.
11. Why do moles make bad cheese makers? All they produce are holey cheeses!
12. What did the mama mole say to her misbehaving baby? Stop acting so soil-ish!
13. Why don’t moles get sunburned? They’re never above ground long enough.
14. What’s a mole’s favorite salad dressing? Ranch, because they love to tunnel and burrow through it.
15. Why did the mole refuse to come up from his tunnel? He just wanted to burrow a little longer.
16. Why are moles the best at hide and seek? They know how to dig the perfect hiding spots.
17. What do you call a mole who does martial arts? A tau-mole.
18. Why do moles make great miners? They’re naturally gifted diggers and burrowers.
19. What’s a mole’s favorite breakfast food? Hole-grain cereal like Tunnel Tops.
20. Why don’t moles need GPS to get around? They have an internal tunneling system.
Mole One-Liners
21. Moles may be blind, but they can smell trouble from a mile away.
22. Moles spend so much time underground, they’re really in the dark about most things!
23. Moles dig themselves into some pretty hairy situations.
24. Moles may be small, but they think BIG when it comes to their tunnel plans.
25. Moles should probably get their tunnel vision checked out.
26. Moles don’t surf the internet, they tunnel through the underground net.
27. A mole’s home is his castle, or should I say tunnel system?
28. Moles aren’t antisocial, they just spend a lot of time underground alone.
29. Moles love digging so much, they actually dream in tunnels.
30. To err is human. To burrow is mole.
31. Moles may have poor eyesight, but they have excellent insight when it comes to digging.
32. Moles are always ready to dig right into work – no ground left unturned!
33. What does a mole say when it makes a mistake? “Darn, I really tunnel visioned on that one!”
34. Moles don’t text, they tunnel message each other underground.
35. Moles prefer to do things on the down-low…the underground-low, that is.
36. What’s a mole’s favorite TV show? The Burrow Channel, of course!
37. Moles may seem shady, but they mean wells…water wells, that is.
38. Moles have a one track mind: dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.
Best Mole Jokes
39. A family of moles was preparing to go on a tropical vacation. The baby mole was so excited he packed his little suitcase really quickly. The mama mole scolded him, saying “Slow down! You’re bound to forget something.” The baby mole replied “Chill out, mom. I’ve got it all covered!” He opened up his tiny suitcase, which was filled with sunglasses, sunblock, and swim shorts.
40. Billy the mole loved to explore new burrows and tunnels. One day, he dug so far he popped up in his neighbor’s yard. He saw his neighbor Fred watering the flowers. “Hey Fred!” said Billy. The neighbor jumped back, startled. “Billy! You scared me half to death! Does your mom know you dug all the way here?” Billy smiled mischievously. “Nope, this will be our little secret.”
41. Martha was an eccentric mole who loved collecting sparkly gems and minerals. She would proudly display her treasures in specially dug out alcoves in her tunnels. One day, she found a beautiful emerald and placed it on a special pedestal in her front foyer. Her mole friends came over to admire it. “That’s quite a find!” said her friend Lewis. Martha beamed. “I know! This emerald is the jewel of my tunnels!”
42. Sammy was the fastest digger in his mole family. His siblings always tried to dig faster, but could never keep up with Sammy. One day, the family was digging a long tunnel to a new foraging spot. Sammy zipped along, leaving his brothers and sisters far behind. When Sammy popped up on the other side, his siblings were nowhere in sight. “Ha!” laughed Sammy. “I totally beat them this time!” Just then, his siblings popped up beside him, giggling. “Wow Sammy, you tunnel visioned down the wrong path!” they chimed. Sammy flushed with embarrassment when he realized his mistake. “Oops, I guess I zigged when I should have zagged!” he said sheepishly.
43. Gary the mole loved collecting human objects that he would find when digging tunnels. Old coins, lost toys, rusty tools – as long as it came from the surface, Gary would excitedly add it to his collection. The pride and joy of his treasures was a shiny gold watch that no longer worked. Gary displayed it prominently on a mound of dirt in his living room. One day his mole friend Oscar came over and saw the watch. “Wow Gary, that watch looks expensive! Mind if I try it on?” he asked. Gary carefully handed over his prized watch to Oscar to examine. Suddenly, Oscar popped the watch in his mouth and swallowed it whole! “Mmm, delicious,” teased Oscar. Gary gasped in horror. “I can’t believe you just ATE my best treasure!” he cried. Oscar just laughed. “Relax Gary, I’m just yanking your chain!” He pulled the watch out of his pocket – he hadn’t eaten it after all.
44. Charlie was the most cowardly mole in his tunnel system. Loud noises, bright lights, and wide open spaces all terrified him. He preferred to stay deep underground where it felt cozy and safe. His friends tried to get him to come to a hillside picnic, but Charlie was too scared to go above ground. “Come on Charlie, you can do it!” urged his friend Amy. But Charlie chickened out. “I’m sorry guys, I’m just too much of a mole-y mole!” he admitted. His friends understood – after all, Charlie was a bit of a scaredy mole by nature.
45. Delilah was a resourceful mole who loved finding new uses for discarded human objects that she found while tunneling. Bottle caps became her fancy dishes, old spoons were repurposed as shovels, and string was perfect for stitching together little outfits for her mole dolls. Her friend Ella came over one day and said “Delilah, your tunnels look amazing with all these repurposed items everywhere! You really put the junk in re-junk-tion.” They both laughed at the silly play on words.
46. Morris was a brilliant inventor mole who was always coming up with new gadgets and gizmos to make tunneling easier. He invented a dirt-detector that could scan walls and identify the most compact dirt for tunneling. He created special claw gloves that helped grab and move loose dirt. He even engineered a machine that dug tunnels automatically. His inventions made him famous among the mole community. One day, a natural cave collapsed nearby, trapping a family of moles. Morris rushed over with his tunneling machines and was able to dig them out to safety. The grateful moles hugged Morris saying “You really are a life-saver!” Morris blushed proud that his inventions had been helpful.
47. Martha was an organized and type-A mole who liked keeping her tunnels neat and tidy. Her friends always teased her about being obsessive with her cleaning and organizing. One day, Martha’s sister Maggie came over to borrow some detergent. Martha’s eyes widened in horror when she saw how dirty Maggie’s feet were. “Maggie! Your feet are filthy! You’re tracking mud all over my nice clean tunnels.” She whisked Maggie off to the bathroom and scrubbed her feet till they were spotless. Maggie rolled her eyes. “You really need to lighten up Martha. Stop being such a neat freak-mole!” Martha huffed indignantly. “I can’t help it if I like things clean!” But deep down she knew she was just a bit of a mole-ic.
48. Simon was a dramatic mole who loved performing in plays and musicals for his friends and family. He would stage the productions in large caverns and tunnels in the mole village, using boulders as props and crystals for lighting. Simon would write, direct, and star in these plays, always casting himself as the lead mole. His over-the-top death scenes involved lots of flailing and gasping. After one such melodramatic performance, his sister patted him on the back. “Take it down a notch, Simon. We get it – you’re a big ham-mole!” Simon just ate up the attention. “The stage just calls to me!” he declared.
49. Cheryl was a new-age mole who practiced yoga, meditation, and ate only organic roots and minerals. Her friends thought this hippie lifestyle was a phase, but Cheryl was devoted to her crunchy granola ways. She did sun salutations, downward dog poses, and meditated daily in her zen mole den. Her friend Amy came over and saw Cheryl sitting in lotus position on a betty boop pillow. “Namaste Cheryl, you are looking very zen today!” Cheryl nodded serenely. “I’m just getting my daily doses of yin and yang. Want to join me for some mole-itations?” Amy just chuckled at her groan-worthy pun.
50. Olivia was the artsy mole in her community who loved making colorful mosaics and sculptures out of the crystals, pebbles, and shards of human debris she discovered on her digs. She would spend hours assembling her found object art pieces. Her friend Emma came over one day and was impressed by Olivia’s efforts. “These pieces are so unique Olivia! You really have a mole-vision when it comes to art.” Olivia smiled proudly. “Why thank you! I do think outside the burrow with my work.” She was happy Emma appreciated her creative mole-bility.
51. Francois was a sophisticated French mole who had a penchant for fine dining and culture. While his fellow moles were feasting on worms and grubs, Francois was importing expensive cheeses and wine for his daily mole meals. He listened to Edith Piaf rather than pop music and read Marcel Proust instead of magazines. His friend Jacques visited one day and saw Francois sipping wine and reading Proust. “My goodness Francois, you are truly le mole extraordinaire!” he exclaimed. Francois raised his snout snootily. “But of course, I am a mole of refinement,” he declared in a hoity-toity tone.
52. Rosie was a sunny optimist mole who always saw the bright side of any situation. Even when an earthquake collapsed her tunnels, she just smiled and said “No problem! I get to try a fun new tunnel design now.” Her friends appreciated her cheerful mole-tude but sometimes it was exhausting to be around such a ray of sunshine. Her buddy Lola stopped by to complain about having a bad day. Rosie waved her paws enthusiastically. “Turn that frown upside down, Lola! Every stormy day leads to a rainbow eventually.” Lola groaned. “Ugh, spare me the pollyanna pep talk, Rosie. Your positivity is worse than a happiness-sucking Debby Downer mole!”
53. Pamela was a trend-setting fashionista mole who was always on top of the latest styles and looks for moles. She would searche abandoned human homes for makeup, accessories, and clothes to repurpose into fabulous mole couture. Her outfits were the envy of all the moles. Her friend Sabrina saw Pamela wearing a skirt made of lace with a rhinestone broach. “Work it girl, you are so mole-t on trend!” she exclaimed. Pamela did a little twirl. “Why thank you darling! I pride myself on being a very sty-mole mole!” Her creative mole-sembles were always on point.
54. Devin was a science geek mole who loved conducting experiments and testing theories underground. His tunnels were filled with makeshift labs, beakers, and research notes on mole anatomy and earth science. He would often get so absorbed in an experiment that he would forget to eat all day. His friend Aaron saw Devin hunched over a microscope, attentively taking notes. “Hey Devin, take a break from the experimenting and come grab some grub worms with me!” Devin didn’t even look up from his microscope. “I can’t stop now! I’m on the verge of a mole-ecular biology breakthrough!” he muttered enthusiastically. His nerdy mole-cular pursuits knew no bounds.
55. Shawn was a conspiracy theorist mole who did not trust the government one bit. He was convinced that crop circles were alien messages and that mole tunnels were being surveilled by the NSA. His friend Gavin grew tired of Shawn’s constant conspiracy theories. “Give it a rest, Shawn. Stop being such a para-mole!” he said. But Shawn continued spouting his anti-establishment conspiracy theories to anyone who would listen. He even published his own underground ‘zine called “Mole Truth” to expose the lies and propaganda of molemanity’s elite ruling class. There was just no reasoning with a confirmed mole-noid like Shawn.
Conclusion
And there you have it – over 70 humorous and family-friendly mole puns, one-liners, and short jokes! From silly plays on words like “mole-ecular,” “molerat,” and “mole-noid,” to funny mole stereotypes and personalities, this collection covers all comedic bases related to our subterranean, tunnel-loving little friends. No matter your sense of humor, you’re sure to appreciate the efforts of these punny moles who aim only to give you some laughs and cheers.
