McDonald’s Puns
1. I’m lovin’ it when the McDonald’s cashier asks if I want fries with that. It cracks me up every time!
2. Working at McDonald’s has its ups and Downsizes.
3. I ordered a Filet-O-Fish at McDonald’s, but I think they gave me a Flop-O-Fish instead!
4. I asked for a Happy Meal at McDonald’s, but I’m still sad. I guess it wasn’t that happy after all.
5. McDonald’s new eco-friendly straws are great for sipping shakes. They really suck!
6. I went to McDonald’s and ordered a salad to be healthy. It was a McMiss.
7. McDonald’s launched a new plant-based burger, but it tasted bogus. I guess you can’t have it your vegan.
8. I slipped on a McDonald’s floor, but luckily I was wearing non-slip McSlippers.
9. McDonald’s tried delivering breakfast all day, but they McCouldn’t pull it off.
10. I ordered a hot coffee at McDonald’s drive-thru, but it was barely McWarm.
McDonald’s One-Liners
11. I’m not lovin’ it when I find a hair in my McDonald’s burger.
12. McDonald’s new kiosks are really McAnnoying when the touch screens don’t work.
13. The McDonald’s ice cream machine is always broken because it’s too McComplicated.
14. The McDonald’s PlayPlace is fun until some kid throws up in the ball pit.
15. McDonald’s needs to supersize their tiny ketchup packets.
16. McDonald’s chicken nuggets are just McBumps of mystery meat.
17. McDonald’s sweet tea tastes like McSugar syrup.
18. The McDonald’s drive-thru line is always wrapped around the block at lunchtime.
19. McDonald’s apple pies always burn my mouth.
20. McDonald’s burgers look nothing like the pictures in the ads.
Best McDonald’s Jokes
21. I went to McDonald’s and ordered a burger with no pickles. When I got home, I realized they gave me a bun with no patty – just ketchup and pickles! I guess they took “no pickles” a little too literally.
22. My friend worked at McDonald’s in high school. One day a customer came in furious that there were no chicken nuggets left. To calm her down, my friend grabbed a handful of hamburger patties, chopped them up, breaded and fried them, then served them to her as “fresh nuggets.” She loved them!
23. I took my little niece to McDonald’s for the first time. She was so excited to go through the drive-thru and kept yelling “Donald’s! Donald’s!” Too cute!
24. My brother used to work the drive-thru at McDonald’s. One day an old lady came through, and as she handed him her money, a pair of false teeth fell out onto his hand!
25. When I was a kid, I wanted to have my birthday party at McDonald’s so badly. My mom actually convinced them to let us have it there, in the PlayPlace! It was the best birthday ever, until the birthday boy puked in the ball pit.
26. In college, my roommate only ate McDonald’s for every meal. After a month of this, she confessed that she was scared to use our kitchen because she didn’t know how to cook anything except McNuggets.
27. I saw a rat run across the floor at McDonald’s once. I told the manager but he just shrugged and said, “Relax, that’s just McJerry. He helps clean up the crumbs.”
28. My first job was at McDonald’s. On my very first day, they put me on the fry station and I set the oil temperature too high. Let’s just say those were some extra crispy fries!
29. When I couldn’t find my cellphone, I used the McDonald’s app to call my phone. A woman answered, and said she had found it wedged between the seats in the McDonald’s drive-thru!
30. I downloaded the McDonald’s app because of a coupon for a free Big Mac. Turns out they send “exclusive offers” every day – my phone now thinks I have a burger addiction.
McDonald’s Puns
31. Don’t eat the Filet-O-Fish if you’re not into seafood. It’s bound to be a McMistake.
32. McDonald’s new spicy chicken sandwich packs quite a McNugget punch. It’s not for wimps.
33. Ordering a salad at McDonald’s is like getting on a treadmill at the buffet. It’s not really going to help your diet.
34. I ordered a hot fudge sundae but got a McFlurry instead. Talk about a mix-up!
35. The McDonald’s soft serve machine is always breaking because it can’t handle the McVolume.
36. McDonald’s coffee is like rocket fuel. Drink cautiously or you’ll be McWired all day.
37. The McDonald’s app coupons are so good, they’re basically giving food away. I’m lovin’ these McDeals!
38. Getting sweet tea at McDonald’s is playing flavor roulette. Sometimes it’s perfect, other times it’s unbearably McSweet.
39. McDonald’s has been trying to lure in health nuts with salads and wraps. Nice try, but I’m not McCheated.
40. I ordered chicken nuggets at McDonald’s but I think these are McFranken-nuggets. Something seems off.
McDonald’s One-Liners
41. Why does McDonald’s Coke taste so good? It must be the McMagic.
42. McDonald’s breakfast menu makes me McDrool every morning.
43. The McDonald’s shake machine is always being cleaned right when I’m McCraving a shake.
44. McDonald’s needs a maximum age limit for the PlayPlace. I’m tired of seeing McNannies in there.
45. McDonald’s sweet tea is to Southerners what IV fluids are to hospitals. We need it to McSurvive.
46. Every time I eat McDonald’s I swear it will be the last time. Yet I always McRelapse.
47. McDonald’s new kiosks: convenient or McCrestfallen over the loss of human interaction?
48. McDonald’s has got my McNumber. No matter how often I eat there, I’m lovin’ it every time.
49. McDonald’s has replaced bustin’ a move with bippin’ that sauce. What has the world come to?
50. Is the McDonald’s ice cream machine broken or are they just McStingy about handing out cones?
Best McDonald’s Jokes
51. I went through the McDonald’s drive-thru on my bike since my car was in the shop. They refused to serve me at the window, so I went inside where the manager said, “I’m loving it!”
52. As a kid I was obsessed with McDonald’s. I even had birthday parties there every year. But the best part was the gift bags. My mom would fill them with chicken nuggets instead of candy!
53. In college my friends and I drove through McDonald’s late one night and ordered a hundred cheeseburgers. When we got to the window, the pimply teenager working looked at us like we were insane. We just yelled “McParty baby!” and drove off blasting music.
54. My nephew puts on a full McDonald’s uniform to play make believe. He takes everyone’s orders, then pretends to cook McNuggets on his toy stove. Kid’s going places!
55. I love when fancy restaurants try to mimic fast food burgers. They never get the iconic McDonald’s flavor right – some things just can’t be McReplicated!
56. Every Friday night in high school we’d order takeout McDonald’s and watch movies together as a family. The burgers were cheap but the memories priceless.
57. For April Fool’s I sent my health nut sister a McDonald’s gift card. She was so mad but I eventually saw those golden arches on her credit card statement – victory!
58. As a teenager I had a McDonald’s uniform shirt I’d wear when I snuck out at night. Tricked my parents into thinking I was hard at work!
59. I travel a lot for work and always rate cities by their McDonald’s. The tastier the Big Mac, the better the town!
60. My grandpa lived to 95 on a diet of daily McDonald’s. He said the key was getting the senior coffee to wash it all down!