Jacket Puns
- I was cold so I put on my jacket. You could say I was feeling a little off-vest.
- My friend got a reversible jacket. He says he can’t wait to turn it inside out, so he can see the new side of it.
- I entered my jacket in a comedy competition. I think it has a good chance of winning because it knows all the best zingers.
- My jacket and I get along great because we have so much chemise-try between us.
- I was going to return my new jacket because it had a hole in the pocket. But then I realized that would just be sewing unnecessary.
- I brought my jacket in for alterations after it ripped. The tailor said, “Don’t worry, I can patch things up between you two.”
- I told my jacket we should see other garments. It replied, “But I thought we had such a strong hem-ection!”
- When I got home, my jacket greeted me at the door. I said, “Honey, I’m home!”
- My jacket is writing a book on sewing. It will be a real page turner with plenty of riveting plot twists!
- I entered my jacket into the science fair. Its thermal properties are truly insulator of brilliance.
Jacket One-Liners
- My jacket is so organized, it color coordinates my outfits days in advance.
- My jacket got fired from the factory for working too hard at keeping people warm.
- My jacket loves going on bike rides, the wind hitting its zipper gives it quite the rush!
- I asked my jacket what being worn feels like, it replied, “It’s shear ecstasy!”
- My jacket has extreme social anxiety, so much so that it has multiple lining disorders.
- I caught my jacket trying on my shoes; apparently it also has sole searching to do.
- My jacket pretends to be a cape whenever there’s a gust of wind.
- My jacket loves dancing, it’s always ready to bust-a-move.
- My jacket is writing an autobiography called “The Fabric of My Life.”
- My jacket started an employment agency called “Coat Talent Scouts.”
Best Jacket Jokes
- My friend’s jacket is completely delusional. The other day, it told me it was a world-famous artist who had painted the Mona Lisa! I said, “I’m no expert, but I think that was a different Da Vinci.”
- I was walking down the street wearing my favorite jacket when a man approached me. “That is a tremendous jacket, sir,” he said. “Wherever did you get it?” I replied, “Why thank you, kind sir. This jacket has actually been passed down in my family for generations. My great-great grandfather originally purchased it in 1889 during a trip to London. The fine craftsmanship has weathered the sands of time.” The man looked astonished as I continued. “Yes, this jacket has seen it all – from the Gay 90s to the Roaring 20s right on up to today. It has lived through two world wars and witnessed countless seminal events in history.” The man was speechless, marveling at my heirloom jacket. After a moment, I added, “I bought it at Target last week for $19.99 when it was on sale.”
- A jacket walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender took one look at it and said, “Sorry, but I can’t serve you.” The jacket asked “Why not?” To which the bartender replied, “Because you’re clearly three sheets to the wind!”
- My friend was always losing his jacket, so I offered to keep an eye on it for him. But every time he came over to get it, I had to shrug and tell him, “Sorry buddy, I haven’t seen your jacket.”
- I asked my friend why his jacket had a big smiley face button pinned to it. He said, “Oh that? I put that there to remind myself to cheer up when I’m having a bad day.” I replied, “That makes sense…but isn’t it supposed to say ‘Hello my name is George’?”
- Why can’t a jacket tell a joke timing properly? It always delivers the punch line too early!
- My jacket got a summer job as a lifeguard at the pool. It has to stay alert in case someone starts drowning and needs a helping pullover.
- What do you call a jacket that always comes early? A pre-vest!
- Yesterday my jacket and I got into our first big fight. Things escalated quickly…there was a lot of zipping back and forth!
- My friend’s jacket recently applied to art school to become a sculptor. I asked how its application went and my friend said, “Oh, it was seamless!”
- What kind of jackets do math teachers wear? Algebrackets!
More Jacket Jokes
31. I was out shopping for a new jacket when the salesperson approached me. “This jacket has an extra layer of insulation to keep you warm in cold weather. Go ahead, feel that fleece lining!” As I inspected the coat, I was shocked by what I found rummaging around in the lining – a tiny squirrel! The squirrel poked its head out and said “Hey buddy, nice and cozy in here, ain’t it?”
32. Did you hear about the boastful jacket who loved bragging about his lining? He had quite the inflated insular cortex!
33. What do you call a jacket that also practices law? A suedepullover!
34. Why should you never tell secrets around your jacket? It might jacket in!
35. My friend’s winter jacket has really bad seasonal affective disorder this year. I said, “Have you tried hanging it near a sunny window? The daylight might lift its mood a bit.”
36. I caught my jacket sneaking snacks late at night again. Looks like its midnight binging is getting a bit out of hand!
37. What do you call a jacket that leads mountain expeditions? An anorak guide!
38. My friend ordered a custom jacket printed with a map of the solar system. He was upset though because Pluto was left off. I said, “Oh that’s too bad, but don’t worry…it will planet itself out.”
39. Did you hear about the arrogant jacket who refused to button up properly? It had a really bad case of vest superiority complex.
40. I entered my talking jacket into the stand up comedy competition. Because you know what they say – the coats will have a gag!
41. What do you call a prehistoric jacket? A dino-vestite!
42. I was browsing in a thrift shop and came across a really ugly jacket. I said to the shop owner, “This thing is hideous, it looks like someone vomited rainbows all over it!” He replied, “Oh that one? Yeah a kaleidoscope threw up on it.”
43. Why are lazy jackets terrible employees? They just don’t give an eff-vest!
44. What do jackets and ghosts have in common? Most people pass right through them!
45. What holds a jacket’s outfit together? Its vestibules of course!
46. Why was the jacket acting so sketchy? It was caught jacket-handed in a lie!
47. Did you hear about the jacket who knits sweaters as a hobby? It has quite the vest array of wool accessories!
48. My friend’s winter jacket decided to pursue its passion and become a published novelist. I said “Wow, that’s great! What genre does it write?” My friend replied, “Science-friction.”
49. Why can’t you trust a hoodie? Because it’s shady!
50. I was on a zoom call with my friend when his jacket suddenly walked into frame holding a cup of coffee. Without missing a beat, my friend says “Oh hey everyone, meet my coat-host!”