Good Friday Puns
1. What do you call a cross between Good Friday and Easter Sunday? Holy Saturday!
2. Why was the cross angry on Good Friday? It was being cruci-fied.
3. Why did the priest take a nap on Good Friday? He was dead tired.
4. What do you call a funny Easter bunny? A Good Fridaughter!
5. Why did the Easter egg cross the road on Good Friday? To get to the other side.
6. What happened when the Easter bunny met Jesus on Good Friday? There was an eggs-change of words.
7. Why couldn’t the chicken eat on Good Friday? There was a pecking order.
8. Why did the rabbit feel gloomy on Good Friday? He was having a bad hare day.
9. What do you call an egg that’s cool? An eggscellent one!
10. Why was Easter Island so crowded on Good Friday? People were flocking there for the holiday.
11. How did Good Friday end? It was ovum.
12. Why couldn’t the eggs travel on Good Friday? They weren’t allowed to eggs-it.
13. What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
14. Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.
Good Friday One-Liners
15. I was going to tell a Good Friday joke, but it’s Passover now.
16. Want to hear a Good Friday joke? Sorry, my lips are sealed.
17. I have 12 Easter egg jokes for you. But I’ll just tell you one because I don’t want to be too egg-cessive.
18. Don’t worry, be hoppy – it’s Good Friday!
19. What did the rabbit say to the carrot on Good Friday? Lettuce pray.
20. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Good. Good who? Good Friday!
21. Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken!
22. What’s the best thing about Good Friday? No work and all play!
23. Want to hear a joke about Easter? Ah forget it, you’ll never get it.
24. Why did the Easter bunny cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
25. What happened when the rabbit couldn’t find its lucky foot? It had some bad hare days.
26. What does the Easter Bunny say when it does a burp? Eggs-cuse me!
27. Why couldn’t the Easter egg family watch TV? Because their cable was scrambled.
28. What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A receding hare line.
29. What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A hot cross bunny.
30. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
Best Good Friday Jokes
31. On Good Friday, a priest went into a barbershop for a haircut. As the barber began to cut his hair, they started chatting about Easter plans. The priest said, “You know, Easter is actually a happy time for us in the Church even though it represents the death of Christ. But we try to look at it more as a celebration of His life.”
The barber replied, “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s kind of like when someone passes away, we have the funeral but we tell happy stories about the person to remember the joy they brought.”
The priest nodded in agreement. “That’s a nice way to put it. We’re celebrating the Savior’s life on Easter.”
Just then, the barber leaned in with the clippers and accidentally clipped off a bit of the priest’s earlobe. “Oh no!” the barber exclaimed. “I am SO sorry, Father!”
The priest just laughed and said, “That’s ok my son. Just remember, it’s Good Friday!”
32. Three priests decided to go fishing one day after Good Friday services. They got in a boat and went out on the lake. The first priest stepped up to cast his rod when a huge fish came up and pulled him into the water. Surprised, the second priest went to help but another big fish jumped up and dragged him in too. The third priest looked up to the heavens and said, “Oh Lord, grant me the strength to bring my friends out of the water safely.” Just then, the voice of God echoed from above, “My son, just grab that club and hit those fish over their heads.” The priest was puzzled and said, “But Lord, why should I hit those poor fish over their heads?” God replied, “It’s Good Friday my son, time to fast!”
33. After the Good Friday service, a priest was walking home when he passed by a fish market. He stopped to look at the fish selections and couldn’t resist buying a large salmon. He happily carried the fish home in preparation for a delicious dinner. However, he forgot that being Good Friday, he was supposed to be fasting. On his way into the house, his neighbor saw him and said, “Father I’m so disappointed to see you bringing home such a nice fish! Have you forgotten that it’s a day of fasting?” The priest paused and replied, “Why yes, you’re absolutely right. I should not break the fast.” So he walked over and slapped the fish across the face as hard as he could. His neighbor was horrified and yelled, “Father! Why did you hit that poor fish?” The priest calmly replied, “It’s okay, I was just fasting it.”
34. A priest had to fill in and cover a shift for another pastor on Good Friday. He decided to kill some time by going fishing out on a nearby lake. Much to his surprise and delight, he started reeling in fish after fish. He was having such an incredible day that he lost track of time. Before he knew it, he was late for the Good Friday service at the church! He paddled quickly back to shore, gathered up the huge catch of fish, and rushed to get back for the service. Bursting in through the back doors, out of breath with his fishing gear and pile of fish, he announced, “Sorry I’m late everyone, but does anyone know what I should do with all these fish?” The congregation was silent for a moment until someone yelled out, “I think you should slap them against their heads and say ‘Stop eating until Easter!'”
35. Three priests decided to go fishing one day after Good Friday services. They got in a boat and went out on the lake. The first priest stepped up to cast his rod when a huge fish came up and pulled him into the water. Surprised, the second priest went to help but another big fish jumped up and dragged him in too. The third priest looked up to the heavens and said, “Oh Lord, grant me the strength to bring my friends out of the water safely.” Just then, the voice of God echoed from above, “My son, just grab that club and hit those fish over their heads.” The priest was puzzled and said, “But Lord, why should I hit those poor fish over their heads?” God replied, “It’s Good Friday my son, time to fast!”
36. After the somber Good Friday service, a priest went golfing to relax and take his mind off things. He got paired up with three other golfers for a foursome. On the first tee, he lined up his drive and swung mightily, but missed the ball completely. “God dammit I missed!” he shouted in frustration. The three other golfers looked at him in shock that a priest would utter such profanity. “Father, you really shouldn’t curse like that,” one man said. The priest apologized and admitted he sometimes forgets himself in the heat of competition. The foursome continued on and soon arrived at the second tee. The priest teed up again, took a big swing, but whiffed a second time. “God dammit I missed again!” he yelled. The three golfers shook their heads disapprovingly. On the third tee, sure enough, the priest completely whiffed once more. “GOD DAMMIT I MISSED AGAIN!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. Just then a loud voice boomed down from the heavens above: “MY SON, YOU SHOULD WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AND STOP TAKING MY NAME IN VAIN!” The priest bowed his head reverently and replied, “Sorry Lord. I will watch my words more carefully.” But then he added, “But couldn’t you have told me that on the first hole?”
37. An excited scout rushed up to his priest after returning from an Easter egg hunt on Good Friday. “Father, Father, look at all the eggs I found!”, he exclaimed proudly. The priest looked at the basket brimming with colorful eggs and replied sternly, “Now son, you know Good Friday is a day of fasting and sacrifice in preparation for the resurrection of our Lord. You shouldn’t be collecting eggs today.” Looking crestfallen, the boy asked what he should do with his big haul. The priest said, “You must slap each egg against its head and say to it: you can’t eat anything until Easter!”
38. Why did the chicken help the rabbit on Good Friday? Because it was too eggs-hausted!
39. What did one Easter egg say to the other on Good Friday? Let’s get cracked!
40. What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies!
41. Why couldn’t the Easter Bunny stay at the hotel? Because he had no reservation!
42. Why was the Easter Bunny so excited? He was having a hopping good time!
43. What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hare-line!
44. Why was the priest cranky on Good Friday? He was seriously cross!
45. What happened to the egg when he told too many yolks? He got cracked up!