Ford Puns (20)
1. I was looking for a new car, but I couldn’t a-Ford one.
2. My friend bought a Ford Focus, but he has trouble staying Focused while driving.
3. I wanted an electric car, but when I saw the price I lost Focus.
4. I named my Ford truck “Lightning” because it’s electrifying.
5. Ford trucks are built Tough, which rhymes with Rough, Fluff, and Stuff.
6. The Ford Mustang is a classic car. You can bet I must-tang out in one if I had the chance.
7. Ford cars aren’t very Expensive, but the repairs can get Expen$ive.
8. My Ford Fiesta is bright Orange, you could say it’s Fi-esta like.
9. I wanted to buy a Ford GT but didn’t have enough Green in my wallet.
10. The Ford Bronco is great for going off-road, it can really take a bronco-ing.
11. I call my old Ford “Rustang” because of all the rust.
12. The Ford F-150 is one F-un truck to drive.
13. My friend leased a Ford and is now making her Ford payments.
14. I bought a classic Mustang at a Ford auction. It was a must-buy situation.
15. The Ford Escape is good for making a quick getaway. Just make sure you don’t es-cape from the cops.
16. The Ford Thunderbird has an engine that roars like thunder.
17. Ford trucks are built strong because you can’t afford them to break down while on the job.
18. The Ford Flex is very flexible on space but can be inflexible on gas mileage.
19. The Ford Explorer is great for exploring new places, just don’t get too lost.
20. The Ford Transit is a great transit van for businesses, just make sure your transits are on time.
Ford One-Liners (25)
21. I drive a Ford, does that make me a Ford driver?
22. My Ford truck is running on empty, just like my wallet.
23. Ford stands for “Found On Road Dead.”
24. Ford: F ix O r R epair D aily.
25. I was doing fine until I got a Ford virus on my computer.
26. I bought a Ford to impress a girl. She was not im-pressed.
27. My Ford gets terrible gas mileage, it goes through more gas than a frat house.
28. Ford trucks are only good for one thing: hauling repair bills.
29. I wanted an exciting Ford sports car, not another boring sedan. Ho hum.
30. My Ford Fiesta wasn’t much of a fiesta after the transmission died.
31. Ford: Found On Russian Dirtroads
32. I rented a Ford once and was unimpressed. I expected more horsepower not horse & carriage power.
33. My Ford Focus helps me focus on all the things breaking down.
34. A Ford and Chevy driver walked into a bar. There were no survivors.
35. I bought a Ford to try and relive my glory days. Unfortunately it spent more time in the shop than on the road.
36. My Ford Bronco gets worse gas mileage than a tank. Vroom vroom goes the money.
37. I feel like I need to take a long walk after looking at Ford’s repair bills.
38. Ford: First On Recall Day
39. My Ford is as old as the hills. The Flintstones called and want their car back.
40. I bought a Ford to be cooler. People still laugh when they see me driving it.
41. Ford: Fix Or Repair Daily
42. I asked the dealer if Ford trucks come with turn signals. He said no, Ford owners don’t turn.
43. I bought a classic Mustang but it’s stuck in reverse. Now it’s a Must-push.
44. My Ford truck bed is empty, just like Ford’s innovation.
45. A Ford and a Ferrari pull up to a stoplight. The Ford breaks down before it can race.
Best Ford Jokes (40)
46. My friend bought a used Ford thinking he got a good deal. It turned out to be a lemon and now he’s stuck making payments on the “unFairlane.”
47. What do you call a parade of Fords driving off a cliff? A good start! Just kidding, I actually love old Fords.
48. How is a Ford like corn flakes? They’re both bland unless you add sugar.
49. Why don’t Ford trucks come with rear view mirrors? Because what’s behind them is not important, only what’s in front of them.
50. Did you know the Ford factory in Detroit has an entire floor dedicated to making turn signals? Another floor for installing them. And a third floor for testing them. But there’s still no floor where Ford installs them on the trucks!
51. Did you hear about the new self-driving Ford? It drives itself back to the dealership for repairs every 2 weeks.
52. Why do Ford owners name their trucks? So they have something to talk to when they break down.
53. How are Ford trucks like a bad marriage? You’ll keep paying and paying to keep it going but you’ll never be truly happy.
54. How do you get a Ford owner to turn down their radio? Ask them to chip in for gas.
55. What’s the difference between a Ford and a porcupine? With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!
56. Did you hear about the new hybrid Ford? It switches between gas and diesel when running out of gas.
57. Why can’t Ford have a sports car as cool as Ferrari? Because Ferrari owners don’t live in their mom’s basement.
58. Why did Ford start making tractors? So they have something to tow their trucks to the shop.
59. How do you make a Ford go faster downhill? Turn off the engine and let gravity do the work.
60. Did you hear Ford no longer puts turn signals in their trucks? They discovered no one was using them anyway.
61. Why do Ford owners lift their trucks so high? So they can crawl underneath and work on them easier.
62. How do you identify a Ford engine? There’s oil leaking from it.
63. Ford should change their slogan to “Have you driven a lawsuit lately?”
64. Why are Ford tailgates so weak? So owners can lift them with one finger while holding their beer in the other hand.
65. What’s the difference between a Ford and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
66. How is a Ford like a dim lightbulb? They both struggle to be bright.
67. Why do Ford trucks have such big beds? For carrying all the parts that fell off.
68. Ford should change their logo to xxx because their trucks spend so much time in the shop.
69. How are Fords like a bad Tinder date? They look good on the outside but disappoint you under the hood.
70. Why do Ford owners name their trucks? It’s easier than remembering the repair order number.
71. Ford: Found On Russian Dumpsters
72. Why can’t Ford make a truck as tough as a Toyota? Because their engineers are too busy fixing the broken trucks.
73. What’s the difference between a Ford and a Jeep getting stuck in the mud? The Jeep is off-roading, the Ford broke down.
74. How do you make a Ford go faster? Push it off a cliff.
75. Why do Ford owners wear cowboy boots? So they have a place to hide their car keys.
76. What do Ford and Dodge owners have in common? They both want a Chevy.
77. How do you get a Ford out of a ditch? Call a Chevy to pull it out.
78. Ford should change their slogan to “Have you been pushed lately?” since their trucks spend so much time broken down.
79. Why does Ford use the Mustang logo? Because a real horse has more horsepower.
80. Ford trucks are like McDonald’s – Billions served but they’re not the best quality.
81. How is a Ford like a Netflix subscription? You pay monthly for constant disappointments.
82. Ford should change their logo to “e” because that’s the grade their trucks deserve.
83. I ordered a Ford online but sadly it was a scam and Fordable.
84. Ford trucks are like pizza delivery – They’re only fast when they’re empty.
85. How are Fords like dark humor? They’re Fine in small doses but depressing in large amounts.
