Firework Puns (25 Jokes)
- I only buy fireworks from certified pyro-technicians.
- My friend lit a firework that let out a loud bang and said, “Now that’s what I call a firecracker!”
- I wanted to have a big firework display, but the costs were sky rocketing.
- I bought a box of defective fireworks that turned out to be duds. Talk about a waste of money that went down in flames.
- I accidentally lit a firework holding it the wrong way. Let’s just say it backfired on me.
- We watched the fireworks from really far away. I guess you could say we saw them from a firework’s distance.
- I only buy fireworks from my friend Tyler because he’s a professional pyro-technician. You could say he’s a friend with fireworks benefits.
- My friend got burned after lighting a firework. I told him he should use aloe vera to roman candle the pain.
- I wanted to resell the fireworks I bought wholesale, but it turns out there’s no markup for fireworks.
- I bought some defective fireworks that turned out to be duds. What a rip-off that went down in smoke.
- My neighbor’s firework display was so bright it lit up the sky. It was truly an illuminating experience.
- I wanted to put on a huge firework show, but I ran out of money fast. The costs really skyrocketed.
- I only buy eco-friendly fireworks made out of biodegradable materials. You could say I like green pyrotechnics.
- My friend got burned after lighting fireworks. I told him he needs some salve to roman candle those wounds.
- I wanted to resell the fireworks I bought at a discount, but there’s just no profit margin in pyrotechnics.
- I’m afraid of fireworks after one exploded too close to me. You could say I’m shell shocked.
- When my neighbor’s firework display ended I said, “Thanks for the short-lived amusement.”
- I bought fireworks from my shady friend Frank. In hindsight, it was a risky fuse-ness decision.
- The finale of the firework show was so breathtaking it left us completely sparkler-struck.
- I decided to become a professional pyro-technician so I can make some real fireworks happen.
- My neighbor’s firework display was beautiful but so smoky. It really polluted the atmosphere.
- I wanted to put on a huge firework show but costs exploded out of control.
- After the firework exploded near me I had to rocket to the emergency room.
- I bought eco-friendly fireworks made of biodegradable materials. I’m all about green pyrotechnics.
Firework One-Liners (25 Jokes)
- My neighbors have been setting off fireworks every night. It sounds like a war zone!
- I was shaking like a Roman candle after the massive firework display.
- That firework display was da bomb!
- The fireworks were so loud my dog ran away…that really set him off!
- The finale was the brightest and loudest firework I’ve ever seen in my life!
- You could hear the fireworks from miles away – it was insane!
- The grand finale fireworks lit up the sky like it was daytime at night!
- I’ve never seen so many fireworks in my life, it was nonstop for 30 minutes!
- Those firecrackers nearly blew my eardrums out!
- I jumped so high when those fireworks started going off behind me!
- My heart was pounding after that huge firework exploded right above us!
- I’ve never been so close to professional fireworks, it was crazy bright!
- So many fireworks went off I thought we were under attack!
- I had no idea fireworks packs could be so loud, it was deafening!
- The firework smokes made my eyes water and sting!
- Those fireworks were as loud as a bomb going off!
- The finale literally lit up the entire sky, it was insane!
- I screamed when the fireworks started going off right behind us!
- Look at all that smoke in the sky from the fireworks!
- I’ll never forget those fireworks, they left me speechless!
- The booms from the fireworks literally shook my chest!
- That grand finale was the most dazzling fireworks display I’ve ever seen!
- I thought a bomb went off, turns out it was just our neighbors’ fireworks!
- Those were the biggest, craziest fireworks I’ve ever witnessed in real life!
Best Firework Jokes (25 Jokes)
51. My friend was in charge of setting off the fireworks for 4th of July, but when it came time for the big finale, nothing happened. After an awkward minute, a single firework went off, followed by my friend yelling “Aww man, I knew I should have gotten the buy one get one free deal!”
52. I accidentally set off a firework holding it backwards on the 4th of July. My friends laughed at first, until I shot them an angry look and said “You won’t be laughing when you see the hospital bill for getting my eyebrows reattached.”
53. On the morning of July 5th, I called the police to report noise complaints over my noisy neighbors setting off fireworks. After a few rings, the dispatcher picked up and I quickly said “Hello, I’d like to report excessive noise from my neighbors setting off fireworks last night.” The dispatcher replied “Sir, yesterday was July 4th” and I embarrassingly said “Yeahhhh…never mind then.”
54. My wife gets mad every 4th of July when I buy huge, dangerous fireworks. But I always tell her “sweetie, I’m just trying to have a blast on my birthday.”
55. Last 4th of July, my neighbor’s loud firework display started a small brush fire. The next morning, I saw my neighbor frantically stomping out smoking embers in his yard. I couldn’t help but walk over and ask “So how did you enjoy the fireworks last night?”
56. On July 5th, my neighbor knocked on my door looking distraught. He said “I’m so sorry, but your cat Mittens got frightened by the fireworks last night and ran away. Have you seen her?” I replied “No worries, Mittens passed away 5 years ago.”
57. Yesterday my son asked me to buy the biggest, most dangerous fireworks I could find for 4th of July. I told him “Sorry buddy, but they won’t sell fireworks to kids under 18.” He glared at me and said “I’m 38.”
58. My brother’s 4th of July firework display was so epic, three separate families called the cops to report a dangerous explosion in the neighborhood.
59. I accidentally launched a firework sideways last July 4th and the stick hit my brother right between the eyes, knocking him unconscious. To this Day, my family STILL brings up what they call the “Independence Day Incident.”
60. Why couldn’t the firecracker go to the party? Because it was a dud!
61. I told my wife I was taking my son to the store for some sparklers and firecrackers on the 4th of July. Three hours later, we came back with two giant mortar firework kits. My wife was mad until I said “Hey, you saidSparklers and firecrackers, so that’s exactly what I got!”
62. Why don’t oysters celebrate the 4th of July? Because they don’t like firework displays!
63. Why was the firework sad? It had a short fuse!
64. What do you call a pig that launches fireworks? A pork pyrotechnician!
65. My neighbors have the biggest, loudest firework shows every 4th of July. I’d call the cops to complain about the noise, but I actually just really enjoy impressively big explosions.
66. Why was the baby firework sad? Because it was a little squib!
67. I accidentally launched a firework horizontally into a crowd once. My friend called it a “Roman candle massacre.”
68. Why don’t traffic lights ever go watch a fireworks show? Because they would have to stop and watch!
69. What kind of fireworks does a lazy person enjoy? Low energy ones!
70. Why was the firecracker depressed? It kept going off but nobody reacted.
71. How do fireworks keep their breath fresh? With rocket mints!
72. Did you hear the one about the firework that traveled around the world? It went off with a bang!
73. Why was the little sparkler sad? Because all of his friends were firecrackers and roman candles but he just wasn’t as bright!
74. What did the mother firework say to her misbehaving rocket? If you don’t shape up, you’ll get grounded!
75. Why do firefighters hate the Fourth of July? Because it really rubs it in that they don’t get to play with fireworks all year round.
