Filipino Puns (15)
1. What do you call a Filipino who loves math? A Philip-ino!
2. Why don’t Filipinos ever get cold? Because they have a lot of relatives.
3. What do you call a sleepy Filipino? A Philip-snooze!
4. Why are Filipinos good detectives? Because they can Filip-investigate!
5. What do you call a Filipino who loves to dance? A Hip-hop-ino!
6. Why do Filipinos make good gardeners? They have green Filip-thumbs!
7. What do you call a Filipino who loves movies? A Film-ipino!
8. Why are Filipinos good at basketball? Because they can Filip-dunk!
9. What do you call a Filipino who loves books? A Filip-reader!
10. Why do Filipinos give the best high fives? They have Filip-fingers!
11. What do you call a Filipino who loves coffee? A Caffeine-ipino!
12. How do Filipinos party? They Filip-dance!
13. Why are Filipinos good drivers? They always use their Filip-signals!
14. What do you call a Filipino who loves music? A Melodi-pino!
15. Why are Filipinos good at martial arts? They know Filip-jitsu!
Filipino One-Liners (10)
16. I asked my Filipino friend if she likes her new dining set. She said, “It’s on the table.”
17. I saw a Filipino man yelling into an envelope. I asked him what he was doing. He said, “Oh just sending a yelling gram.”
18. Did you hear about the new Filipino restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
19. My Filipino friend got fired from the keyboard factory. He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
20. A Filipino man opened a dry cleaning business. He named it Wrinkles Be Gone.
21. I took my Filipino friend to a seafood restaurant. He kept saying, “Water these!” So punny.
22. My Filipino friend was struggling to pay his water bill. I said, “Don’t worry, it’ll work itself out.”
23. I told my Filipino friend, “Be positive!” He said, “I’m positive I don’t like your advice.”
24. My Filipino friend got a job at a clock factory. He said it’s about time!
25. I tried to cheer up my depressed Filipino friend. He said, “I appreciate your encouragemint.”
Best Filipino Jokes (25)
26. Juan was struggling in his math class, so his teacher decided to motivate him. She said, “Juan, if you can answer this next question correctly, I’ll give you $20.” Juan became very excited and listened carefully to the question. “What is two plus two?” the teacher asked. Juan thought for a moment and then responded, “Four pesos!”
27. Pedro was running late for school. On the way, he saw his Lola walking slowly ahead of him. “Lola, can I please overtake you? I’m getting late for school,” Pedro requested. His Lola replied, “Only if you say a prayer for me too when you get to school.” Pedro agreed and rushed past her. At school, Pedro kept his promise. He said a small prayer, “Dear God, please make Lola better so I can overtake her every morning!”
28. Maria’s mother asked her what she learned in school that day. “We learned about different countries and talked about what food they eat,” Maria replied. “The teacher asked us what is a traditional Filipino food. My friend Lisa said lumpia, but I said balut!” Her mother laughed and said, “Well, I guess you both are right!”
29. Little Jose was praying before bedtime. “Lord, please bless Mommy, Daddy, Lola, Lolo, Tita, Tito…” On and on he prayed naming every relative he could remember. His father interrupted, “Son, why are you naming the whole family tree?” Jose replied, “Because the prayer said ‘Our Family’!”
30. Ana complained to her Lolo that she was too young to get married. Lolo laughed and said, “I married your Lola when I was your age, so what’s the problem?” Ana replied, “Maybe you were ready then, but I’m not ready to get married to a 50-year-old!”
31. Mang Pedro walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Sorry sir, we don’t serve food here,” says the bartender. “That’s okay, I brought my own,” replies Mang Pedro, pulling out a lumpia from his pocket.
32. Why can’t you borrow money from a Filipino? Because they’re always a little short!
33. How do you fit 100 Filipinos in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 96 in the trunk!
34. What do you call a sleepwalking nun in the Philippines? A roamin’ Catholic!
35. My Filipino friend got sick after eating a cheeseburger. I guess he lacks the dairy tolerance.
36. Did you hear about the new Filipino-American restaurant? It’s called Fusion Confusion.
37. What do you call a Filipino who loves telling jokes? A Pun-it!
38. My Filipino friend was struggling to set up his new grill. I said, “Need a hand, mang?”
39. Why don’t Filipinos like checking their voicemail? They prefer texting instead of telepati.
40. Did you hear about the Filipino magician? He turned Manila into Magic City!
41. What do you call a group of Filipino frozen yogurt makers? A Yogo Yogo Gang!
42. How do Filipinos party? They just wing it with their barkada!
43. My Filipino friend got a job at an origami factory. He’s going to be folding papers.
44. Why don’t Filipinos ever seem bored? Because they make their own fun.
45. Did you hear about the Filipino choir group? Their name is Halo Halo Singers.
46. Why do Filipinos give such good advice? They’ve got a lot of wisdumbra!
47. What do you call a Filipino who sells eggs? A poultry patotoy!
48. Why do Filipinos make great detectives? They always catch the culprit red-sisig!
49. Did you hear about the new Filipino shoemaker? His name is Sir Toepak.
50. Why did the Filipino cross the road? To get to the other side dish!