Elf Puns
1. What do you call an elf who just escaped from prison? A little con elf!
2. Why was the elf sent to detention? He got caught elfish-ing through another student’s backpack.
3. Why do elves work long hours making toys? They’re trying to work themselves down to the nub.
4. Why are elves such good gardeners? They have green thumbs!
5. What kind of car does an elf drive? A Chryslelf 300.
6. How do elves greet each other? With a friendly “Hi! I’m Elfie!”
7. What do you call an elf who does chemistry? An alchemelf!
8. How do elves keep track of each other? They elf-identify.
9. Why do elves wear pointy shoes? So they can elf-propel up chimneys.
10. What do you call an elf who refuses to take a bath? Elfstinko!
11. Why was the elf fired from the bakery? He kept giving away free elf-servable treats.
12. What’s an elf’s favorite kind of story? Short ones with happy elf-dings!
Elf One-Liners
13. I asked an elf how many toys he could make in an hour – he said, “One elf my best!”
14. Never ask an elf for driving directions, they’ll just send you down a winding candy cane road.
15. Elves are very peppermintal when it comes to baking cookies.
16. Santa should install elf-locking mechanisms on the workshop doors.
17. Elves always know how to spread holiday cheer and elf-lessness.
18. An elf tried archery once but found he lacked elf-confidence.
19. Never discuss elf-image issues with an elf – it’s a touchy subject.
20. Elves take craftsmanship very seriously – it’s a point of elf-pride.
21. Becoming an elf takes years of training and elf-discipline.
22. Elves may be small but they have big elf-pectations.
Best Elf Jokes
23. One Christmas Eve, an elf was helping Santa load presents into his sleigh when he slipped on some ice and fell into a snowbank. Santa leaned over and asked “You ok?” The elf replied “Yeah, I’m elf-right now.”
24. A family brought home an elf on the shelf to watch their kids before Christmas. But during the holidays, they noticed the elf kept disappearing and then reappearing in strange places around the house. One night they caught the elf raiding the fridge and realized he was a shelf elf.
25. An elf walked into Santa’s office and said “Santa, I need to talk to you about my wages.” Santa replied “Make it elf-i.”
26. What do you call an elf who lives at the North Pole and acts like a total jerk? An elf-ish elf. One day he spilled hot cocoa all over Santa’s new suit and blamed it on the reindeer. Santa warned “If you don’t shape up, you’ll be shipped out!” But the elf didn’t care. He continued to wreak havoc until Santa had no choice but to banish him from the North Pole forever. Santa shook his head and sighed “Now no one will want to hire that delf.”
27. Why are elves excellent project managers? They know how to elf-organize everything.
28. How does an elf soldier get promoted? To the elf-lite forces!
29. What’s the difference between an elf and a goblin? Elves are jolly and make toys, goblins just grab boy’s and girl’s toys!
30. Why do elves wear bells? Because Rudolf got all the glory for the reindeer games!
31. How can you tell when an elf is having a bad day? He’s a little elf-absorbed.
32. What do you call an elf who does tricks on a snowboard? An elf-extreme athlete!
33. What did the elf say when he hurt his finger building a toy? I stubbed my elf!
34. Why don’t elves take coffee breaks? They prefer elf-presso.
35. What do you call an elf who refuses to ride in a sleigh? Santa’s helper-elfer.
36. Why do elves wear padded shoes in the workshop? So they can sneak around quietly – it helps keep things on the down elf.
37. What do you call an elf who got fired from the toy factory? An unemployed elf.