Eagle Puns
1. Why don’t eagles like staying inside? They prefer being outdoors.
2. What do you call an eagle that plays the guitar? A rock star!
3. Why did the eagle get angry at the comedy club? He didn’t like the cheep jokes.
4. Why was the eagle kicked out of the library? He had overdue books.
5. How does an eagle freshen his breath? With beak care products.
6. Why did the eagle miss the concert? He was stuck in his nest.
7. What do you call an eagle who does magic tricks? A bird of sleight of beak.
8. Why are eagles never nervous? They have nerves of steel.
9. Why did the eagle stop meditating? He needed to spread his wings.
10. What did the eagle say to his friend on the phone? “Let me eagle back to you.”
11. Why do eagles make great architects? They have an eye for design.
Eagle One-Liners
12. Eagles may soar high, but ducks have to put up with quacks.
13. If Peter Pan was a bird, he’d be known as Eagle Pan.
14. I tried to feed an eagle some chicken nuggets once. He wasn’t lovin’ it.
15. Eagles are majestic creatures. Seagulls are like the annoying cousin.
16. Bald eagles and Donald Trump have two things in common: bad hair and being obsessed with America.
17. How do eagles build their nests? They wing it.
18. Eagles can spot a mouse from 2 miles up. Hawks can barely spot a moose.
19. If eagles could talk, they’d probably have the most inspiring TED talks.
20. Eagles don’t tweet, they shriek.
21. Why don’t eagles live in large groups? They’re more of the lone wolf type.
Best Eagle Jokes
22. An eagle and a bear were walking in the woods when they came across a magic lamp. They rubbed it and a genie popped out. “I will grant you each one wish,” said the genie. The bear thought for a minute and said, “I wish for all the honey I can eat for the rest of my life.” Poof! A hundred beehives appeared in front of him. The eagle thought carefully and said, “I want a lifelong mate who is loyal, true and loving.” Poof! The eagle turned into a Golden Retriever.
23. A hawk and eagle strike up a conversation while soaring high above a meadow. The hawk says, “So how high can you fly?” The eagle replies, “Oh I’d say about 10,000 feet, give or take.” The hawk nods approvingly. “Not bad, not bad. I can get up to 16,000 myself.” The eagle looks over and says, “Wow, that’s impressive for a turkey.”
24. An eagle mom is lecturing her young eaglet before his first solo flight. “Now be careful dear, watch for power lines and avoid tall buildings. Glide gracefully and don’t overdo it. And absolutely do not talk to any of those low down, good for nothing vultures!” The eaglet rolls his eyes. “Yes, mother…” He then spreads his wings and soars into the sky. He’s flying high above the treetops when a vulture cruises up next to him. “Hello there!” says the vulture. “New to these parts?” The eaglet remembers his mother’s warning and keeps his beak shut. He picks up speed and flies away from the vulture. But the pesky vulture matches his speed and cruises along next to him again. “Not much of a talker, eh? That’s cool.” Frustrated, the eaglet can’t help himself. He snaps back, “Listen, my mother told me to never talk to vultures. You guys are nothing but low down scavengers.” The vulture shrugs. “A common misconception, my friend. We perform a great service, cleaning up carrion and preventing disease. We are the sanitation workers of the skies. But if you want to listen to mommy dearest, be my guest.” The eaglet considers this perspective for a moment. “Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way.” “It’s all good,” says the vulture. “Fly safe now.” And with that, he banks away. The eaglet continues his flight, reflecting on how it pays to keep an open mind.
25. Why did the baby eagle have trouble learning to fly? He was having a hard time making the grade.
26. How do bald eagles communicate? With cell phones – they prefer Samsquanch Wireless plans.
27. What do you get when you cross an eagle with a snowman? A bird that will melt your heart!
28. A bald eagle and a regular eagle were arguing about who could fly higher. The bald eagle said “With my bald head, I have less wind resistance, so I can fly way higher than you with that mop on your head.” The regular eagle shrugged its feathers and replied “I dunno, I think that theory might be a little hair-brained.”
29. Why don’t eagles like rainy days? It dampens their spirits.
30. What do you call an eagle that babies other eagles? A nanny Egley!
31. Why don’t eagles read novels? They prefer to bird through them.
32. Did you hear about the eagle who entered a pie eating contest? He ended up in the peckathlon.
33. Why was the eagle upset after Thanksgiving dinner? He was stuffed to the beak!
34. How does an eagle call his friends? With his beak phone.
35. Why don’t eagles feel cold in winter? They’re equipped with down jackets.
36. Why do eagles make great detectives? They have an eagle eye for detail.