Dyslexia Puns
1. I tried to tell my dyslexic friend about eating disorders, but it just came out as “eating sorders”.
2. My dyslexic friend got really upset when I told him we were having alphabet soup for dinner. He hates consuming “soubet alph”.
3. I asked my dyslexic friend if he wanted to go fly a kite at the park. He got really excited about going to the “prak” to “ylf a keti”.
4. My dyslexic co-worker keeps asking me to go with him to the “nimat” after work. I finally realized he means the mini mart down the street.
5. I told my dyslexic sister I was making scrambled eggs for breakfast. She got mad and said she wanted “beldmsgcra eggs” instead.
6. I tried to get my dyslexic friend interested in going whale watching. He said looking at “elwhas” sounded boring.
7. My dyslexic uncle accidentally bought us all tickets to the “Circus De OleSole” instead of the famous Cirque du Soleil.
8. I asked my dyslexic friend if he wanted to go bowling, but he got excited about “logwnbi” instead.
9. My dyslexic cousin hates when we have family game night because we always end up playing “noomhcle” instead of Monopoly.
10. I told my dyslexic friend I was making tacos for dinner, but he got mad because he wanted “socat” instead.
11. I tried to get my dyslexic mom into birdwatching, but she didn’t understand why staring at “sdirb” would be fun.
12. My dyslexic grandfather accidentally bought us tickets to see a “Johnny Mathis” concert instead of Johnny Cash.
Dyslexia One-Liners
13. I asked my dyslexic friend, “How’s it going?” He replied, “Oh, just living the godl life!”
14. My dyslexic co-worker said the ocean was his favorite place to “laonspre” and relax.
15. I told my dyslexic brother I was making hummus for lunch. He said, “Yuck, I hate smmuhu!”
16. I asked my dyslexic mom what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “Just some peace and ketiuq would be nice.”
17. My dyslexic friend said his favorite breakfast was “neggsa d hbamc”. Yep, eggs and ham it is!
18. I asked my dyslexic uncle if he wanted to get pizza for dinner. He said, “Only if it has lots of phneipap!”
19. My dyslexic cousin said her ideal vacation would be relaxing on a cheba at a trospical resort.
20. I told my dyslexic sister I was making coffee. She said, “No thanks, I hate effoco!”
21. My dyslexic friend’s favorite thing to do on weekends is “gncoamipm” out under the stars.
22. I asked my dyslexic mom what she wanted me to pick up from the store. “Bring me back some iec cream!” she said.
Best Dyslexia Jokes
23. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
24. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.
25. What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
26. My dyslexic friend joined a cult by mistake. He thought he was joining a cuilt.
27. Did you hear about the dyslexic cop who got fired? He was suspected of brobery.
28. Why are pirates bad at reading maps? They spend years searching for the buried dyslexia treasure.
29. What do you call a dyslexic snake? A python with ptyhon dyslexia.
30. Why couldn’t the dyslexic vampire have babies? Because he could only impreggonate women.
31. Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a doG.
32. What do you call a dyslexic lawyer? A sue chef.
33. Why don’t dyslexics eat bananas? They find the peel too apeeling.
34. What do you call pasta made by dyslexics? Lasagaga.
35. Why was the dyslexic witch bad at magic? She could only cast paddle spells.
36. Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse.
37. Why are people with dyslexia always so positive? Because they struggle seeing the neggative in life.
38. Did you hear about the dyslexic dentist? He’s an excellent flossier.
39. Why did the dyslexic horse walk into a bra? Because it had dyslexia.
40. What do you call a dyslexic boxer? Punch drunk.
41. What instrument do dyslexics play? The xylophone.
42. Why was the dyslexic student relieved on the first day of school? Because there was no homework assigned.
43. How does a dyslexic poet write? In verse.
44. Did you hear about the dyslexic doctor? He performed a tonsillectomy when his patient needed a colonoscopy.
45. Why did Mickey Mouse hire a dyslexic investigator? He wanted someone to track down Minnie.
46. Why do dyslexics make great philosophers? Because they spend so much time wandering if there really is a dog.
47. How do you flirt with a dyslexic? You just gotta learn their loguange.
48. Where does a dyslexic dog go for obedience training? To puppy harvmard.
49. What do you call a dyslexic sports fan? Someone who cheers for the Cougars basketball nem.
50. Why are dyslexics so good at telling jokes? They always have a puncline.
51. Why did the dyslexic gardener plant seeds in the butterfly garden? She thought they were fluttersheeds.
52. Did you hear about the dyslexic lifeguard? He couldn’t tell the difference between drowning and just waving.
53. Why does Santa have dyslexia? Because he struggles going down the ho, ho, ho chimney.
54. What do you call a dyslexic werewolf? A wearwolf.
55. Why don’t mummies have dyslexia? Because they’re wrapped too tightly.
56. What do you call a dyslexic linguist? Someone who understands slyntax errors.
57. Why was the dyslexic teacher bad at teaching algebra? She couldn’t find the value of x.
58. Did you hear about the dyslexic preacher? He spoke about the white of God.
59. Why couldn’t the dyslexic bike rider perform any tricks? He kept falling off the backwurds.
60. How does a dyslexic shepherd count his sheep? He counts them all and then says, “53 sheep!”
61. Why was the dyslexic secretary fired? Their boss got tired of receiving kthan you cards from them.
62. Why are dyslexics so calm and relaxed? Nothing really phases them.
63. What happened to the dyslexic agnostic disco dancer? He wondered if there really was a rhythm out there.
64. Why do dyslexics make great detectives? They’re great at interpolating clues.
65. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? You use a pumpkin patch.
66. Why was the dyslexic student relieved on the first day of school? Because there was no homework assigned.
67. Did you hear about the dyslexic sailor? Apparently he spent his whole life searching for the infant teal.
68. Why are pirates bad at reading maps? They spend years searching for buried dyslexia treasure.
69. What do you call a clumsy chicken? A literal foul.
70. Why couldn’t the dyslexic vampire have babies? Because he could only impreggonate women.
71. What do you call a dyslexic lawyer? A sue chef.
72. Why was the dyslexic witch bad at magic? She could only cast paddle spells.
73. Why did Mickey Mouse hire a dyslexic investigator? He wanted someone to track down Minnie.
74. Why was the dyslexic gardener planting seeds in the butterfly garden? She thought they were fluttersheeds.
75. What do you call a dyslexic linguist? Someone who understands slyntax errors.
