Drum Puns
1. I tried to learn the drums, but I kept making a racket.
2. Drums are my instrument of percussion.
3. I wanted to join a band but they said my drumming was too cymbalistic.
4. Why did the drummer get arrested? He was caught beating his drums in public!
5. My neighbor bangs on the drums all night. He’s very percussionive.
6. I ordered a drum set online but when it arrived it was just a bass. I immediately knew I’d been the victim of a tom-tom scam.
7. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.
8. Why do drummers have one extra gene? So they can be drumstick carriers.
9. How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door? The knocking speeds up.
10. Did you hear about the drummer who did impersonations? He did a pretty good Neil Peart.
11. Why are drummers always losing their jobs? They can never find the right beat.
12. Why do bands have drummers? It’s cheaper than hiring a machine gun.
Drum One-Liners
13. I tried to tune my drums but I ended up wasting too much tom.
14. Drums are like relationships, it takes time to get into a good groove together.
15. They laughed when I said I wanted to be a drummer, but I knew I could pull it off.
16. I wanted to become a drummer, but my parents thought it was just a phase I was going through.
17. My drum teacher told me I had natural rhythm. It was music to my ears.
18. I asked the drummer to play softly at my wedding. They knew when to come in on cue.
19. I caught my son drumming on pots and pans again. Ah, the sounds of youth.
20. That drum solo was like an earthquake, it really shook me up inside.
21. The drummer broke their wrist but kept playing. Now that’s what I call drum ‘n’ bass.
22. I’m not a great drummer, but I enjoy making noise.
Best Drum Jokes
23. A drummer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender asks, “Why the long pause?” The drummer says, “I’m a drummer, there are no pauses.”
24. What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
25. How do you know when a drummer’s at the door? The knock gets faster and faster.
A man went to visit his friend who was a drummer in a band. The drummer had a two-story house with his drums setup on the top floor. As they were hanging out on the bottom floor, the drummer’s neighbor came knocking angrily on his door complaining about the noise. The drummer apologized and promised to keep it down.
As soon as the neighbor left, the drummer turned to his friend and said, “It’s so nice I can practice up here and no one can hear me on the bottom floor!”
26. Why are drummers always on time for practice? They have good timing!
27. What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
28. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to screw in the bulb and nine to talk about how much better Neil Peart could have done it.
29. How do you know when a drummer’s at the door? The knock gets faster and faster.
A boy wanted to learn drums, so his parents hired the best drummer in town to be his teacher. After the first lesson, the parents asked their son how it went. “It was amazing!” the boy said. “I learned so many things about rhythm and technique!”
The next week, after his second lesson, the parents asked again how it went. The boy replied, “It went great! I’m really starting to understand how to keep time and play different beats.”
After the third lesson, the boy’s parents checked in again. This time, the boy said, “I quit. That guy keeps tapping me with drumsticks and it really hurts!”
30. Did you hear about the drummer who got accepted into the space program? NASA heard he had great drum solos.
31. Why do bands have drummers? It’s cheaper than hiring a drum machine.
32. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay for the pizza.
