60 Funny Desktop computer Jokes

Desktop Computer Puns (20)

1. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
2. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “how much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “for you, no charge.”
3. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
4. I entered a contest for procrastinators. I plan to enter next year.
5. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
6. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims.
7. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted stairs. He gave me a blank stare.
8. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
9. Did you know the first French fries weren’t made in France? They were cooked in Greece.
10. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
11. I lost my mood ring and I don’t know how I feel about it.
12. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. It’s very hard to put down.
13. I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I have no idea what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.
14. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
15. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
16. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
17. I have an irrational fear of overly engineered buildings. It’s my steel and concrete phobia.
18. Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.
19. I told my son I was naming a star after him. He said, “Thanks for nothing.”

Desktop Computer One-Liners (20)

1. I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.
2. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
3. My friend got mad at me for smelling his sister’s underwear. I don’t know if it was a big deal, though. It was barely a sniff.
4. When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.
5. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
6. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
7. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
8. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
9. I wasn’t going to get brain surgery, but then I changed my mind.
10. My friend David lost his ID and now we just call him Dav.
11. I couldn’t figure out how the seatbelt worked. Then it clicked.
12. Don’t interrupt someone working intently. Chances are they’re going through a period.
13. Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming.
14. A backward poet writes inverse.
15. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
16. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
17. I wasn’t originally planning to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
18. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
19. Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming.
20. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

Best Desktop Computer Jokes (20)

My friend texted me asking for a good pun. I replied, “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”

I wanted to write a joke about time travel but I decided not to – it was about time.

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? Mount Rushmore.

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

My friend David lost his ID and now we just call him Dav.

I couldn’t figure out how the seatbelt worked. Then it clicked.

Don’t interrupt someone working intently. Chances are they’re going through a period.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Two windmills are standing on a hill. One asks the other: “What kind of music do you like?” The other says: “I’m a big metal fan.”

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.

I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything.