Comma Puns
- What do you call a comma that’s out of place? A misplaced modifier.
- Why was the comma unhappy in the sentence? It felt clause-trophobic.
- Which comorbidities do commas suffer from? Dependent clauses and run-ons.
- How does a comma get around? It phrase-es through sentences.
- Why don’t commas make good therapists? They always interrupt their patients!
- What do you call an overworked comma? A workaholic-on.
- Why did the comma cross the road? It was a run-on sentence.
- What do commas wear to formal events? Tuxedos and gowns.
- Why do commas hate driving in traffic? Too many sentence fragments.
- How does a comma relax after work? It decompresses between clauses.
Comma One-Liners
- I’m so tired I could use a comma right now.
- Commas, the unsung heroes of punctuation.
- Commas: Separating ideas since 1520.
- Commas putting the pause in clause since 1440.
- Commas: Making reading comprehension easier for 500 years.
- Commas: the “take a breath” of writing.
- Commas: Helping readers understand sentences since 1440.
- Without commas, it’s just words. Give your writing a comma-a.
- Commas: Your writing’s best friend.
- Commas: Breaking up sentences into readable chunks.
Best Comma Jokes
1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye-deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no reproductive organs? Still no fucking eye-deer.
2. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
4. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
5. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
6. A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
7. I tried to catch fog yesterday… I mist.
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain.
10. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
11. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
12. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He’s lucky it was a soft drink.
13. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
14. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt-quacks.
15. A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
16. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
17. I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something.
18. What did one wall say to the other wall? “Let’s meet at the corner.”
19. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
20. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
21. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
22. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
23. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
24. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
25. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
26. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
27. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
28. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
29. Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired!
30. What did one magnet say to the other magnet? I find you very attractive.