Chevy Puns (20)
- What do you call a Chevy that runs on water? A hydro-vette!
- Why don’t Chevys like going to the beach? Because they don’t want to get sand in their truck!
- Why did the Chevy go to the gym? It wanted to work on its truck!
- What did one Chevy say to another? “Your trunk’s looking good!”
- How does a Chevy stay in shape? By doing car-dio!
- Did you hear about the angry Chevy? It was in a bad mood all day and kept honking at people!
- What do you call a Chevy that crossed the road? An all-terrain vehicle!
- Why was the Chevy so clean? It just got a car wash!
- Why was the Chevy sad? It had the blues!
- How did the Chevy win the art contest? It drew the best vehicle!
- Why did the Chevy go to the salon? For a fresh coat of paint!
- What do you call a Chevy that doesn’t run? Un-truck-able!
- Why was the Chevy out of breath? It was gasping for air!
- Why did the Chevy blush? Because it saw another cute car!
- What happens when a Chevy breaks down? It needs a tow!
- Why was the Chevy allowed in the library? It had a valid car-d!
- What did the Chevy say when it won the race? I’m wheel-y fast!
- Why do Chevys love listening to music? It helps pass the time on long drives!
- Where do Chevy trucks hang out? In their gar-age!
- Why do Chevy trucks make great detectives? They’re always on a case!
Chevy One-Liners (20)
- My Chevy is so old, it has a cassette player!
- I named my Chevy Brad because it’s a real pick-up truck!
- My Chevy is so messy, I call it “Junk in the Trunk.”
- My Chevy burns through gas faster than a 14-year-old burns through snacks.
- My Chevy is like an old dog – slow but loyal.
- My Chevy smells weird but runs great – sort of like my uncle!
- My Chevy runs entirely on hopes, prayers and duct tape.
- My Chevy has more miles than a nomadic tribe.
- My Chevy is two oil changes away from becoming a hybrid.
- My Chevy’s A/C works perfectly – in the winter.
- My Chevy’s engine sounds like two cats fighting in a burlap sack.
- My Chevy has more rattles than a baby store.
- My Chevy’s speedometer is stuck on 95 mph – while parked.
- My Chevy is like driving around in a recycling truck – lots of noise!
- My Chevy’s check engine light has been on so long it feels like home.
- My Chevy runs great once it gets warmed up – in about 30 minutes.
- My Chevy has more dents than a golf ball.
- My Chevy’s radio only picks up AM stations – and barely.
- My Chevy was cool before seatbelts were required. Or airbags.
- My Chevy has gone through more oil changes than Matthew McConaughey’s hairstyles.
Best Chevy Jokes (20)
1. A farmer was having problems with his Chevy truck stalling all the time, so he asked his friend the mechanic to take a look at it. After inspecting the engine, the mechanic said “I found the problem: you’ve got a massive fuel leak. No wonder it keeps stalling on you.” The farmer scratched his head and asked “You really think that’ll cause my truck to stall? Because I’ve always had that fuel leak, ever since I bought the truck 20 years ago. It’s never caused problems before.” The mechanic facepalmed and said “Don’t you get it? Your Chevy runs on gas, you dummy! Of course a massive gas leak is going to make it stall!”
2. Fred decided he wanted to impress his friends by dressing up his old Chevy truck. He outfitted it with massive Monster Truck tires, a sound system loud enough to rattle windows a mile away, and more flashing lights than a disco ball. Proudly, he drove it over to his friend Eddie’s house to show off his new “monster Chevy.” But when Eddie saw the bizarre monstrosity that barely resembled a truck anymore, he just shook his head in disbelief. “Fred, why did you turn your Chevy into…that thing? You ruined a nice classic truck just to try getting attention.” Fred’s face fell when he realized his plan had backfired. Moral of the story: Don’t try to fix up what ain’t broke!
3. Stu was test driving a used Chevy pickup he found for sale when suddenly the truck started making terrible clanking noises. He pulled over and popped the hood to see the engine covered in oil and smoke pouring out. Just then the truck’s owner came running up yelling “What did you do to my truck!?” Stu angrily replied “Me? It’s your truck that just blew the engine! I didn’t do anything wrong.” The owner said “It was running perfectly before you took it for a drive, you must have done something to break it.” After arguing fruitlessly with the unreasonable owner, Stu realized it was pointless and drove away. He decided next time he’d get a mechanic to inspect a used vehicle before buying to avoid another disaster.
4. Mark went to view a used Chevy truck for sale and took it for a test drive. The truck seemed to drive fine during the test, so he told the owner he would buy it for the asking price of $5,000. But when he went to pickup the truck a few days later, the owner handed him a bill for $7,500. Mark was outraged and said “Hey! We agreed on $5,000 for this Chevy, that’s what I’m paying.” The owner shrugged and replied “I decided to raise the price based on how much you seemed to like the truck after the test drive. Supply and demand, you know. If you want it, now it’s $7,500.” Mark shook his head and walked away, refusing to do business with such a shady character. Dishonesty doesn’t pay!
5. Jim was visiting his grandparents’ farm when he spotted an old Chevy pickup sitting in the barn, covered in cobwebs. He asked his grandpa about it and was told “That old truck used to be mine, but it hasn’t run in over 20 years. Just doesn’t have any life left in her.” Never one to back down from a challenge, Jim said “Let me take a look, maybe I can get her going for you again.” After tinkering with the engine and replacing some parts, miraculously the old Chevy fired up and ran again. Jim took it for a spin down the dirt roads surrounding the farm, smiling ear to ear. Sometimes all it takes is a little love and know-how to revive the classics.
6. Bill had owned his trusty old Chevy truck for over a decade when the inevitable finally happened – the engine completely died. He debated trying to find a replacement motor to revive the truck, but his mechanic advised against it. “That Chevy’s a dinosaur. You’ll end up sinking way more money into engine swaps and repairs than the truck is even worth at this point. I’d say it’s time to put her out to pasture and get a newer model.” Although it pained him to part with his vintage truck after so many years, Bill knew the mechanic was probably right. He ended up donating the Chevy to a local auto shop that restores old vehicles, happy it would bring joy to someone else.
7. Eddie was attending a big truck rally event showing off his fully customized, jacked up Chevy Silverado with enormous mud tires and chrome everything. He thought his pimped out truck was hot stuff until he parked next to a stock ’55 Chevy pickup in pristine original condition. The classic Chevy looked humble next to Eddie’s flashy modern truck, but the crowds gathered around the vintage Chevy admiring its graceful lines and elegant details. Eddie realized sometimes less is more, and originality beats ostentatious upgrades. From that point forward he started to appreciate the simple beauty of the older trucks over the loud in-your-face styles.
8. Ronny had almost given up hope of finding an affordable used Chevy truck in decent shape until he lucked into an old ’87 Silverado on sale for cheap. The exterior looked worn and the engine had a lot of miles, but the body was still solid and the interior practically mint. After some elbow grease cleaning it up and replacing a few parts, the old truck fired up and ran surprisingly well. Ronny happily spent weekends customizing his bucket-of-bolts Chevy into a real head-turner. The truck wasn’t anything fancy, but the charm of its age coupled with Ronny’s DIY upgrades made it unique. Just goes to show you can make gold out of rust when you put in the effort.
9. When Hank bought his first new Chevy Silverado truck, he was so excited to show it off around town. He volunteered to drive for every event and errand possible just to have a reason to take the truck out cruising. But only a month after buying it, the excitement wore off and Hank started noticing every tiny flaw or scratch that appeared. He obsessed over keeping the truck spotless and perfect, until one day his friend John remarked “Don’t stress so much over some specks of dust or minor dings, Hank. Trucks are meant to hauled, to work hard and get dirty. Just let it be a truck!” Hank realized he was right and needed to loosen up.
10. Fred’s old Chevy C10 pickup was his most prized possession. Though it was over 40 years old, he had painstakingly maintained it in mint condition inside and out. When a major storm hit, a large tree branch broke off and crashed down right on top of Fred’s beloved truck, smashing the roof and bed. He immediately rushed outside to assess the damage, heartbroken to see his vintage Chevy crushed. But with some time and effort, Fred was able to locate replacement panels and parts to fix the truck good as new again. To him, restoring the old Chevy was a labor of love – she was part of the family after so many years together.
11. Jim’s flashy souped-up Chevy truck was the envy of everyone in town. He relished the admiring looks and questions from onlookers when he rumbled by: “Wow, what enormous tires!” “Did you install that sound system yourself?” “What custom shop did that wild metallic paint job?” Jim loved the truck’s ability to draw a crowd. But one day on his way to work, Jim’s Chevy broke down miles outside of town. As he sat waiting hours for a tow, the reality sank in – sometimes less flashy vehicles are more reliable in the long run.
12. Bill had been restoring his classic Chevy truck for months when disaster struck – his workshop containing all his tools and the half-finished truck burned down. Devastated by the loss after investing so much hard work, at first Bill thought about just giving up on the old Chevy altogether. But his resolve hardened and he decided to start over; he hunted for deals to replace his tools and found a new workspace. Within a year Bill’s shiny rebuilt truck was proudly cruising the local car shows – its resurrection a testament to determination and never saying die.
13. Martha had rarely driven anything besides big Cadillacs, so she was out of her element when her friend Dave asked her to drive his manual transmission Chevy S10 pickup to help him move some furniture. She ground the gears and stalled nonstop trying to get the hang of the tricky clutch. Embarrassed by her struggles, Martha blurted “I don’t know why anyone drives these dang stick-shift trucks, they’re so difficult!” Dave just laughed and said “Don’t feel bad! Driving a manual just takes practice. You’ll get the feel for it in no time.” Martha resolved to not give up until she could drive that little truck as smoothly as her Caddie.
14. Steve was midway through a road trip in his beloved but aging Chevy truck when suddenly it started billowing smoke from under the hood and quickly ground to a halt. He gingerly lifted the hood to face plumes of steam hissing from the cracked engine block. With no cell service in the remote area, Steve’s only option was sitting tight and hoping someone would drive by. As the sun set hours later and still not a single car had passed, Steve realized just how unreliable an old, high-mileage vehicle could be in a bind. He vowed to get something more dependable when he finally made it home.
15. Ever since he was a child, Justin had dreamed of owning a lifted 4×4 Chevy truck with massive mud tires and a roar that could shake the windows. After saving up for years, he finally bought his dream truck custom-built from the ground up. But after a few months Justin realized this over-the-top vehicle wasn’t very practical as a daily driver. The sheer size made parking a nightmare, the stiff suspension jarred his spine on potholes, and he constantly stressed over scraping the truck on steep driveways. Sometimes fantasies should remain just that.
16. Clayton was driving home along a winding back road in his new Chevy Silverado when the truck hit a pothole and started shaking violently. Before he could pull over, the shaking suddenly stopped but now the truck was listing heavily to one side. He got out to find the front right wheel completely broken off and cracked in half from hitting the pothole! Thankful he hadn’t crashed, Clayton got the truck towed to a body shop for repairs. But he learned an important lesson about watching out for road hazards, even in a brand new vehicle.
17. Roscoe loved his big, loud, jacked up Chevy more than just about anything else in the world. He polished and pampered it daily, always showing off its flawless looks. One day while out mudding with friends, Roscoe ventured into a hole deeper than it looked. His precious truck got stuck in thick mud up to the doors. Everyone offered to help pull it out, but Roscoe was too distraught seeing his Chevy filthy and mired to think straight. In the end, he learned that sometimes you have to get a bit dirty to have real fun.
18. Kelly drove a massive, bright red one-ton Chevy dually truck kitted out with brush guards, a 12-inch lift kit, and tractor tires that cost more than most cars. When someone questioned if her gigantic truck was a bit impractical for a 5-foot tall suburbanite, she indignantly replied: “I’ll have you know this truck is perfect for various activities like grocery shopping, taking the kids to soccer practice, and parallel parking downtown.” After a long awkward pause, both women burst out laughing at the absurdity.
19. Ted loved Chevy trucks so much he devoted an entire room in his house to displaying his extensive collection of miniaturized models, sales brochures, dealer signs, and other memorabilia he had accumulated over the decades. Although his wife didn’t quite share the same level of passion, she happily indulged Ted’s hobby. One evening while dusting the shelves, she accidentally knocked over a rare die-cast toy truck Ted had spent months tracking down. He let out an anguished cry and she steeled herself for an angry outburst…but instead he just smiled understandingly and said “It’s only a toy, honey.”
20. Jimmy was daydreaming about fame and fortune when his best friend Skeeter interrupted him to ask: “What would you do if you won a brand new Chevy truck tomorrow?” Jimmy scratched his chin and replied: “Well sir, first thing I’d do is get that baby rhino lined and lifted up real nice. Then I’d quit my job and cruise the open highway searching for adventure! I’d be a modern day cowboy exploring the vast wilderness in my trusty steed.” Skeeter chuckled and said: “Admit it…you’d just drive to work same as always.” Jimmy nodded and responded: “Yeah, you’re probably right. But a guy can dream!”
