Bucket Puns
- I was going to make a joke about buckets, but it would probably be a bit wooden and hollow.
- Working with buckets all day has its ups and downs. Sometimes I feel on top of the world, other times I hit rock bottom.
- My friend got arrested for stealing buckets. The judge threw the bucket at him.
- Buckets want to retire too. But they’ll always have something to bucket list.
- Buckets may leak sometimes, but they’ll never spill their secrets.
- Did you hear about the bucket that went to college? It graduated with high distinctions!
- I entered my bucket in a comedy competition. It was so funny, it won buckets of laughs.
- Buckets love going on cruises. There’s always a new port to bucket list.
- What do you call an aggressive bucket? A bully bucket!
- That builder carries around a lucky bucket. I guess you could say it’s his bucket list.
- I’d tell you a joke about buckets, but it’s kinda corny.
- Buckets may bend sometimes, but they’ll never crack under pressure.
Bucket One-Liners
- My bucket gets embarrassed when I sing to it in public.
- I was going to wear a bucket as a hat, but I chickened out at the last minute.
- I ordered a tiny bucket online, but when it arrived it was much bigger than I bucketed for.
- My bucket is great at hula hooping, it has amazing hips.
- I caught my bucket gossiping about me behind my back.
- I searched online for cool bucket tricks, but they were all lame.
- My bucket loves dancing to Spanish music, its handle sways perfectly in rhythm.
- I brought my lucky bucket to my big job interview. I didn’t get the job.
- My bucket has a better skincare routine than I do.
- I told my bucket to stop making so much noise dragging itself across the floor.
- My bucket loves singing in the shower, its voice echoes beautifully.
- I found my bucket sleepwalking last night. It mumbled something about a dripping tap.
Best Bucket Jokes
- My friend Jack has an old wooden bucket that’s been passed down in his family for generations. It must be an antique by now. One day he decided to take the bucket to the Antiques Roadshow to have it valued.
The appraiser took one look at the bucket and got very excited. “This is a rare 17th century English oak bucket, beautifully preserved! It could easily fetch $10,000 at auction.”
Jack couldn’t believe it. Ten grand for his old bucket! Then the appraiser grabbed the bucket roughly and tipped it over to examine the bottom marks. In doing so, he put a small split in the wood.
“Oh dear, I seem to have damaged it slightly, but no matter. In this condition, it’s still worth at least $9,500.”
That’s when Jack snatched back the bucket angrily. “Forget it!” he said. “A cracked bucket is worthless!”
-
Jill liked to carry a bucket of water up the hill everyday, though nobody knew why. One day her curious neighbor asked her,
“Jill, why do you carry that bucket of water up the hill every day for no reason?”
Jill set down her bucket and replied,
“Well you see, many years ago my grandmother planted an apple tree sapling on that hill. And ever since her passing I’ve watered it daily, hoping one day it would grow into a beautiful tree that makes others smile too.”
The neighbor was so touched he offered, “From now on, I would be honored to water your grandmother’s tree Jill.”
So each morning without fail, Jill’s neighbor would haul a heavy bucket of water up the hill. After months passed Jill finally confessed,
“Uh, actually…I just like carrying buckets up hills.”
- Little Timmy was playing by the riverside when he tripped and dropped his brand new bucket into the water.
He cried “My bucket fell into the river!” But there was no one around to hear him.
Hours passed and getting late, Timmy sobbed all the way home. Upon seeing him, his mother exclaimed “Gracious Timmy, your eyes are red from crying, what happened?”
Timmy wailed “I…I lost my brand new bucket in the river!”
His mother tried not to laugh, “Oh you poor thing, don’t worry, buckets are replaceable.”
But Timmy bawled even louder, “It’s not about the bucket! I can’t swim!”
- On their 50th wedding anniversary, Gary gifted his wife a beautiful diamond bracelet.
“Oh darling!” she exclaimed, “I also have something special for you.”
His wife handed him a familiar dented, rusty old bucket.
“This lovely bucket has been with us through thick and thin over half a century. It caught the dripping air conditioner when we were poor newlyweds. It sailed with us on seas both calm and turbulent. And today it reminds me that with love, two buckets can share more happiness than one fancy bracelet ever could.”
Gary hugged his wife and cried tears of joy. Who needed diamonds when he had her heart of gold.
- The students whispered whenever Miss Baxter, the strictest teacher, entered class hauling a bucket of water. Rumors flew about its purpose – some said it was for water torture, others speculated worse.
One fateful day, a boy named Billy decided to find out. While Miss Baxter’s back was turned, he grabbed her bucket and splashed water all over her desk!
The class gasped, anticipating Billy’s doomed fate. But instead, Miss Baxter just sighed and took out her handkerchief to soak up the mess.
“Children, this is just my cleaning bucket. I apologize for not explaining sooner and causing such wild rumors.”
The students learned a valuable lesson that day – appearances can be deceiving, and communication prevents misunderstanding.
-
Old Widow Jenkins woke up to find her chickens gone and beloved bucket kicked over.
“Blasted fox must have stolen my chickens and vandalized my property!” she declared.
The elderly widow stormed over to new neighbor Nick’s house demanding compensation.
“Your mongrel pup attacked my chickens, I want repayment!” she accused, shaking her cane menacingly.
“But Widow Jenkins,” explained Nick gently “I don’t own any dogs, only cats.”
Just then, Nick spotted his tabby cat wandering in, happily carrying a chicken drumstick with his mouth, trailed by Widow Jenkins’ escapee flock!
Mortified, the widow tucked away her cane. “Er, never mind me.” Perhaps she would bring Nick a nice bucket of eggs tomorrow to apologize instead.
-
On their first date, Rebecca noticed Andrew’s beat-up bucket sitting on his front porch. An avid antique collector, her curiosity was instantly piqued.
“What an interesting vintage bucket!” she remarked. “May I take a closer look?”
“Uh, it’s just a regular Home Depot bucket…” mumbled Andrew, clearly embarrassed.
But Rebecca’s magpie eyes already spotted an intriguing set of initials carved underneath.
“Why, this marking indicates it was made by legendary bucketsmith Thaddeus Blodgett in 1892!”
She glanced up excitedly at a flabbergasted Andrew.
“You know, I do believe finding this rare bucket is an omen that we were simply meant to be.”
And that was the romantic tale of how an old bucket brought Andrew and Rebecca together.
-
Wendy the witch bustled about her creepy cottage, muttering spells and tossing newt eyes into her bubbling cauldron.
“I shall brew the greatest invisibility potion tonight!” she cackled.
Just then, she stubbed her toe on her favorite bucket.
“Curses!” Wendy yelled, grabbing her throbbing foot. She accidentally knocked over the cauldron, spilling the unfinished potion all over herself and the bucket.
At once, Wendy and the bucket completely vanished into thin air!
“Oh bother,” said Wendy’s disembodied voice. “I’ve really made a mess of things this time.”
It took three whole days before the invisibility wore off. Wendy never did find that dratted bucket again.
-
Old Farmer Greg noticed his best brown dairy cow Bluebell wouldn’t stop mournfully staring towards the empty pasture on the hill.
Seeking answers, Greg hiked up the field himself and discovered his missing wooden bucket half-buried near a dried up stream.
“Aha! No wonder Bluebell is acting strange, she must miss drinking from this bucket here,” realized Greg. “I’ll take it back right away.”
The farmer returned the battered bucket to Bluebell, who ignored it completely, and went right back to gazing sadly at the barren hill.
Greg scratched his head in confusion. “Hmpf, guess I’ll never understand my cows.”
Meanwhile, Bluebell was actually grieving the loss of her dear friend Bucket the bull, who had occupied the neighboring field.
-
The museum curator led the group towards a tiny golden bucket encased behind glass.
“This ancient Greek artifact remains in pristine condition after thousands of years. Note the intricate deity figures and floral motifs carved along the pail.”
Oohs and aahs of admiration sounded amongst the observers.
“How ever did the ancients craft something so delicate?” marveled one visitor aloud.
“Yes, please do tell us the meaning behind this exquisite bucket!” begged another enthusiastically.
The curator cleared his throat.
“Alas, our scholars still haven’t decoded the mysterious symbols to unlock its secrets…”
Everyone left feeling disappointed, unaware the pail bore an ancient Greek frat-boy joke far too raunchy for the curator to ever translate.
-
The neighborhood kids dared Mark to sneak into crazy Old Man Hendrick’s decrepit Victorian manor and steal something scary.
Arriving at the abandoned house well past midnight, Mark squeezed beneath the weakened floorboards to begin his hunt, armed only with a flashlight.
Finding nothing of interest downstairs, he cautiously tiptoed up the creaky staircase. Among debris and peeling wallpaper, Mark suddenly spotted a corroded metal bucket sitting in the shadows.
His heart raced. Why keep an old bucket hidden away up here? Driven by morbid fascination, the boy slowly reached out to touch its worn surface…
Just then, Mark’s fingers brushed against something soft curled inside. Screaming in terror, he bolted downstairs and raced all the way home without looking back.
The local kids never bothered Old Man Henderick’s place ever again. Though sometimes late at night, Mark still remembers that awful feeling of fur against his hand when he touched the bucket’s contents.
-
Sammy the seagull squawked in dismay when he discovered some heartless child had stomped his precious sand bucket castle into crumbles.
“First thing tomorrow, I shall rebuild an even bigger and better one,” Sammy decided, already sketching plans in his feathered head.
The ambitious bird devoted weeks tirelessly collecting colorful shells, seaweed, pebbles, and twigs to construct three awe-inspiring sandy bucket towers.
Yet the very next morning, Sammy awoke to find his masterpiece smashed once more. Devastated, the seagull inspected the destruction, finding a gigantic lobster claw print stamped across his ruined creation.
“Curse you, Carl the Crusher!” Sammy cursed his old crustacean nemesis. “It seems my enemy has thrown down the bucket to me!”
The furious seagullwas about to fly off seeking revenge, before pausing to gaze thoughtfully at his toppled sand towers.
“On second thought… perhaps I shall build Carl a tiny castle too,” Sammy declared magnanimously. “For this beach is large enough for buckets of friends, if we give peace a chance.”