Biology Puns
1. I took my biology final last week and I think I nailed the fungi questions! My friend said she bombed it and was lichen herself to a foot fungus.
2. Our biology professor told us we needed to get more fiber in our diets. I told him we have plenty of mitochondria.
3. I was excited for the biology field trip until I found out we were just going to see the moss exhibits. Now I’m feeling a little lichen-different about it.
4. My biology lab partner thought mitochondria was the powerhouse of the county. I told him “You’re so chloroplast-minded!”
5. I entered the biology pun contest last week but couldn’t win. I guess all the good biology jokes argon.
6. I tried to come up with a really good biology joke about fungi but I couldn’t mushroom any puns in there.
7. Did you hear about the biologist who was studying deer? She was very fawn’d of them.
8. I told my friend a really funny biology joke about cells, but I don’t think she nucleus.
9. Biology class was tough today. We’re currant-ly studying different types of seeds.
10. Our biology professor told us to stop making jokes and be more amoeba-ture.
Biology One-Liners
11. Mitochondria? More like my-toe-con-DRIP-a!
12. Biologist checking vitals: Yup, this paramecium is still alive and swimming.
13. Biologist on a date: Let’s stop t-RNA get to know each other.
14. What do you call someone who dropped biology class? Photosynthetically-challenged.
15. Roses are red, violets are blue, I failed biology, and now I’m glue.
16. They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian and a biologist. Well, nobody’s laughing now!
17. I took biology in high school but could never get pastosis.
18. How do trees access the internet? They log on.
19. What do you call an introverted biologist? A my-cell-f.
20. Why was the biologist late to work? She took her sweet thymine.
21. Biology grader: This essay on meiosis deserves a C – very mitotic-cre.
Best Biology Jokes
22. What did one biology student say to the other while studying? “Cell-ebrate good times, come on!”
23. Why was the cell wearing high heels? She didn’t want to be flat.
24. Why was the biology student unable to go to the party? He was too organelle.
25. What did one biology student say to the other during the final exam? “May the forest be with you.”
26. Why was the biology textbook depressed? It had lost all its bacteria for living.
27. Why do fungi throw the best parties? Because they know how to get the spores started.
28. Why did the biologist bring gloves and goggles on his date? He wanted to safely handle her reactions.
29. I told a joke about cells to my biology friends but there was no reaction.
30. Why did the biology student bring cookies and juice to class? It was time for their chemosynthesis party.
31. What do you call someone who is both an accountant and a biologist? A tax-onomist.
32. What did the biologist exclaim when he won the lottery? “Cells-ebrate good times, come on!”
33. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
34. Where do bacteria go on vacation? To the karaoke bar so they can malaria their hearts out.
35. What did one cell say while hugging the other cell? “Oh embryo, its been too long.”
36. Why was the nucleus feeling lonely? He needed more cytoplasm in his life.
37. What did the biologist sing to his girlfriend? “You are my eukaryote.”
38. Why did the biology student walk into a tree? Because he didn’t see the chlorophyll.
39. I tried studying biology through osmosis but it didn’t work. Now I actually have to open my textbook.
40. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. Just had to get that off my chest.
41. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
42. My friend got mad when I made fun of archaeologists. But I was just joking, no bones about it!
43. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
44. I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
45. How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
46. I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.
47. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
48. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code.
49. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
50. I was addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
51. I was going to tell a chemistry joke, but I didn’t get a reaction.
52. What do you call it when a shark eats his vegetables? A carnivore.
53. I used to be addicted to the gym, but I just couldn’t work it out.
54. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
55. Why do stingrays swim in salt water? Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
56. Why do scuba divers roll out of the boat backwards? Because if they rolled forwards they’d still be in the boat.
57. Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they peel!
58. What’s the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle.
59. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
60. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
61. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
62. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
63. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing!
64. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
65. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
66. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
67. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
68. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
69. The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
70. How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
71. How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
72. I went to buy camouflage trousers yesterday but I couldn’t find any.
73. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
74. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
75. The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
76. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
77. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
78. I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
