Bell Puns
1. Why was the bell always late for class? It kept ringing around.
2. Why do bells make such great pranksters? Because they love to ding dong ditch.
3. Why did the bell get detention? For ringing in class.
4. Why don’t bells make good marathon runners? They’re always out of breath.
5. What do you call an arrogant bell? A ding-a-ling!
6. Why was the bell sent to the principal’s office? For ringing out of turn.
7. Why are bells terrible at keeping secrets? Because they’re always tolling.
8. Why do bells make the worst Uber drivers? They always charge more when you’re in a toll area.
9. What did the bell say to his friend? “Let’s hang out!”
10. Why are bells so happy on weekends? They get to chill and not ring all day.
11. Why are bells the most energetic in the morning? They love getting up at the crack of dawn.
12. Why do bells make bad romantic partners? All they do is ring you up.
Bell One-Liners
13. I tried making my bell sound fancy, but it just came out as a ding-a-ling.
14. My bell is so loud, it could wake up the whole neighborhood. Ringing nuisance if you ask me!
15. I was gonna tell my bell joke but someone kept interrupting and said “ding dong!
16. That bell has been ringing all morning – it must have one hell of an alarm clock.
17. I’m starting a band called Ding-a-Lings – we’re looking for members who can really ring.
18. Ever since getting that new bell, my dog has been going nuts. It’s driving him barking mad!
19. I tried to paint my bell completely silent but ended up with ding tones of gray.
20. Our church bell rings so loudly the whole valley echoes. Now that’s what I call holy ringing!
21. After the third bell this morning I was ready to scream, “Can’t you just let me sleep in peace?!”
22. I’m convinced my bell has perfect pitch – it always rings the right note.
Best Bell Jokes
23. A man was walking by a church when suddenly the bell started ringing like crazy. He went inside and asked the priest what was going on. The priest said, “Oh no, someone must be pulling the bell rope really hard!” He ran up to the tower and found a blonde woman tugging at the rope with all her might. He yelled, “What are you doing?!” She replied, “I’m trying to ring the bell!” He said, “You’re already ringing it!” She said, “No I’m not, it’s just coming back up!”
24. Billy was practicing his tuba in his apartment when the neighbor knocked on his door. “Do you know what time it is? It’s 3 AM!” shouted the angry neighbor. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” said Billy. “Let me make it up to you with a serenade.” He grabbed his tuba and started playing a loud rendition of Bell Bottoms. The neighbor slammed the door shut.
25. A man was taking a walk through London when he came across a street performer with a tiny bell and a sign that read “Ring bell for joke!” The man rang the bell and the performer said, “Knock knock!” The man replied “Who’s there?” The performer frowned and said, “Hey, you’re supposed to say knock knock!” The man said, “Knock knock?” The performer smiled and said, “Bell!” Then he pointed at his little bell waiting for a laugh. The man just shook his head and kept walking.
26. Susan was decorating her classroom for Back to School night. She put up a sign that said “Ring the bell for service.” Later that evening, parents and students began filing into her classroom. One boy went straight to the sign, picked up the little bell next to it and started ringing it repeatedly. Susan came rushing over and asked, “Can I help you?” The boy replied, “No thanks, I’m just testing it to see if it works.”
27. Doug was shopping for a new bike bell. He rang one that made a little ding sound. Then he rang one that made more of a dong sound. Finally he rang one that made a big BBRRIINNNGGG sound. An employee came over and asked if he needed any help. Doug said, “Yeah, do you have anything in a ding-dong?”
28. Martha was walking home from work when a bike messenger zoomed past her almost knocking her over. “Hey!” she yelled after him, “Why don’t you get a bell for that thing?!” He circled back around and said, “I’m sorry ma’am, what did you say?” She huffed, “I said you should get a bell for your bike!” The messenger looked confused and said, “But I already have a Belle on my bike.” He pointed back at the young woman riding on the back wearing a helmet.
29. A man bought a parrot from the pet store, but it kept ringing a bell nonstop. After two days of bells ringing, the man decided to cover the bell so it wouldn’t make any more noise. Immediately, the parrot started shouting “Ding dong! Ding dong!” The man sighed and said, “So you want your bell back huh?” The parrot said, “No, I just wanted to see if the ringer was working.”
30. Little Timmy came running into the kitchen and excitedly told his mom, “The ice cream truck is here! I can hear the bell down the street!” His mom replied, “The ice cream truck doesn’t come this far out of town dear.” Timmy said, “It does now, come on!” He grabbed his mom’s hand and led her outside where the mailman was getting back into his truck which had a little bell on top.
31. Debra’s house was right next to the old church on Main Street. Every Sunday morning she’d be woken up by the loud ringing of the church bells. After a month of restless Sundays, Debra decided she’d had enough. She went over to the church and asked the pastor if he could possibly ring the bells a little later. The pastor apologized but said the bells had been ringing at that time for over a hundred years. Debra said, “Well could you at least use them more gently? Do you have to bang those things so darn loud?” The pastor just smiled and said, “Ma’am, we don’t bang the bells, we only ring them.”
32. The police were called to an apartment building late one night. The neighbor who made the call said there was strange bell ringing coming from one of the units. The police knocked on the door and a man answered wearing nothing but boxer shorts and a bicycle helmet. The officer asked if he knew about the loud bell noises. The man got excited and said, “You heard my new doorbell? Let me show you!” He pushed a button and a boxing ring bell starting dinging loudly. The man said, “I just installed it, isn’t it neat?” The officer just shook his head and said not to ring it after 9 PM.