Bear Puns
1. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
2. Why don’t bears wear underwear? Because they have bear bottoms!
3. Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was polar!
4. What do you call a bear who works on Wall Street? A stock broker!
5. Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
6. What’s a bear’s favorite dessert? Ice cream and koala pie!
7. Why was the panda bear voted most laid back? He’s just panda-ring to his surroundings.
8. Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection!
9. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
10. Why don’t bears like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
11. What do you get if you cross a bear and a skunk? Winnie the Pew!
12. What do you call a bear who retires? A grizzled veteran!
13. Why did the mama bear kick her cubs out of the den? She wanted bear privacy!
14. What do you call a bear who lives at the South Pole? A bipolar bear!
15. How does a bear groom its fur? With bear necessities!
16. What kind of bears are best at spelling? Spellbears!
17. What happened when the bear walked into the bar? He said “Gimme a _______!”
18. Why don’t bears wear vests? They prefer bear arms!
19. Why do polar bears eat so much? They’re bipolar!
20. What do you call a teddy bear on wheels? A furrari!
Bear One-Liners
21. I’m bearly getting started with these bear jokes!
22. These bear puns are unbearable!
23. I can bearly stand how funny these jokes are!
24. Hope you’re not getting tired of these grizzly bear puns!
25. These panda puns are pandamonium!
26. I don’t mean to polarize, but these polar bear jokes are awesome!
27. My, my, these koala-ty jokes sure are clawsome!
28. These bear jokes are fur real funny!
29. Ursa lot of great bear puns here if I do say so myself!
30. I swear it’s like I’ve got a bear-rel of puns here!
Best Bear Jokes
31. A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After eating, the waiter comes with the check. The panda pulls out a shotgun, shoots the waiter, and prepares to leave. The manager runs over and says, “Hey! You can’t just shoot my waiter and walk away! You have to pay for that meal.” The panda shrugs and says, “Hey, I’m a panda. Look me up!” The manager opens his dictionary to panda and reads: “Panda: a tree climbing mammal native to Asia that eats shoots and leaves.”
32. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! This joke is funny because it plays on the word “gummy” which can mean both rubbery/chewy as well as toothless.
33. A man is out hiking when he stumbles upon a giant grizzly bear. The bear rears up to full height and gives a roar. As it comes back down on all fours, the bear notices that the man has soiled his pants. The bear smirks and says “Do you come here often?” Terrified, the man squeaks out “No, this is my first time hiking here.” The bear laughs and replies “Well it must be mine too, because bears don’t talk!”
34. How do you keep a brown bear busy? Give him a teddy bear and tell him to tear its arms and legs off. This anti-joke subverts expectations by having a mundane punchline instead of a clever play on words.
35. What do you get when you cross a brown bear with a skunk? Winnie the Pew! This funny pun combines Winnie the Pooh with Pepe Le Pew.
36. Why don’t bears like fast food? Because they can’t catch it! This joke pokes fun at stereotypes of bears being slow.
37. What do you call a bear with no ears? B! The humor lies in the literal interpretation of “a bear with no ears” sounding like the letter B.
38. How do you keep bears out of your backyard? Put up a goal post. Bears can’t kick field goals! This joke relies on wordplay between “goal post” and bears inability to literally kick field goals in football.
39. What did the mama bear say to her misbehaving cubs? “If you cubs don’t stop fighting, I’m going to knock the stuffing out of you!” A play on knocking the stuffing out of teddy bears.
40. What do you call a bear who works on Wall Street? A stock broker! This pun combines “stock” shares and “broker” to depict a bear in a finance job.
More Bear Puns
41. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
42. Why don’t bears wear vests? They prefer bear arms!
43. What do you call a bear who retires? A grizzled veteran!
44. Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
45. What’s a bear’s favorite dessert? Ice cream and koala pie!
46. Why was the panda bear voted most laid back? He’s just panda-ring to his surroundings.
47. Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection!
48. What do you get if you cross a bear and a skunk? Winnie the Pew!
49. Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was polar!
50. What do you call a bear who lives at the South Pole? A bipolar bear!
More Bear One-Liners
51. I can bearly stand how funny these jokes are!
52. These panda puns are pandamonium!
53. I swear it’s like I’ve got a bear-rel of puns here!
54. My, my, these koala-ty jokes sure are clawsome!
55. I don’t mean to polarize, but these polar bear jokes are awesome!
56. These bear puns are unbearable!
57. I’m bearly getting started with these bear jokes!
58. Hope you’re not getting tired of these grizzly bear puns!
59. These bear jokes are fur real funny!
60. Ursa lot of great bear puns here if I do say so myself!
More Best Bear Jokes
61. What do you call an overweight polar bear? A polar burden!
62. Why did the hipster get mauled by a bear? He took selfies with the bear’s lunch.
63. How does a grizzly bear stop a charging buffalo? He takes away the buffalo’s credit card!
64. Why did the bear get fired from the circus? He kept grizzling about working conditions.
65. How do you outrun a bear? You don’t have to, you only have to outrun the guy next to you!
66. Why did the panda get detention? Because he was panda-ing to the crowd.
67. How do bears get around the forest? On bearback!
68. Why aren’t koala bears considered real bears? They don’t have the right koalafications.
69. Why did the bear cross the road? To get to the bear necessities store on the other side!
70. What kind of charts do pandas make? Pandagraphs!
Additional Bear Puns
71. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
72. Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
73. What’s a bear’s favorite dessert? Ice cream and koala pie!
74. Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection!
75. What happened when the bear walked into the bar? He said “Gimme a _______!”
76. What do you call a bear who works on Wall Street? A stock broker!
77. Why don’t bears wear underwear? Because they have bear bottoms!
78. Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was polar!
79. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
80. Why did the panda get detention? Because he was panda-ing to the crowd.
Additional Bear One-Liners
81. I’m bearly getting started with these bear jokes!
82. These panda puns are pandamonium!
83. I can bearly stand how funny these jokes are!
84. These bear puns are unbearable!
85. Hope you’re not getting tired of these grizzly bear puns!
86. These bear jokes are fur real funny!
87. My, my, these koala-ty jokes sure are clawsome!
88. I swear it’s like I’ve got a bear-rel of puns here!
89. Ursa lot of great bear puns here if I do say so myself!
90. I don’t mean to polarize, but these polar bear jokes are awesome!
Final Best Bear Jokes
91. What did the baby polar bear say to its mom? “Is my ice cap melting?”
92. Why don’t bears wear sneakers? They get unbearably sweaty in shoes!
93. What’s a bear’s favorite candy? Gummy worms! Get it, because bears eat fish?
94. How did the bear scare off the angry hunter? He gave him a big bear hug until he calmed down.
95. Why did the panda get in trouble at school? For panda-ring during an exam when he should have been testing!
96. What do you call a frozen bear? A polar brrr!
97. How do pandas communicate? With bear hugs!
98. Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll!
99. What do you call a bear who hibernates awkwardly? A weird fur!
100. Why was the mama bear spying on her cubs? To get the bear facts!
101. How does a panda bear make new friends? With bamboo-zling card tricks!
102. Why did the panda go to the movie theater? Because he wanted to see Kung Fu Panda 4!
103. What happens when a grizzly eats explosives? They go bearserk!
104. Why don’t mother bears let their cubs play near beehives? Because they don’t want them getting stung!
