Battery Puns
- I tried to come up with a battery pun, but nothing sparked any ideas.
- Want to hear a joke about batteries? I’d tell you, but I don’t want to charge you for it.
- What do you call a battery that’s feeling down? A depressed cell.
- I tried to make a battery pun, but it just didn’t have much current-cy.
- How do batteries enjoy music concerts? They like being in the mosh volt.
- Two batteries met each other and got married because they were made for each other.
- How did the battery feel after working all day? Dead tired.
- Did you hear about the battery that was feeling overwhelmed? It was going through a lot of cell stress.
- The battery couldn’t decide on its career path. It felt like it didn’t have much potential.
- Why are batteries so bad at keeping secrets? Because they’re always shocking people.
Battery One-Liners
- My phone battery lasts about as long as a New Year’s resolution.
- I bought a battery at a discount store and it only had one bar of power.
- After my phone battery died, I tried waving it like a wand and saying “Abracadabra” but that didn’t work.
- Batteries – powering remotes, toys, and awkward silences when they die.
- I wish my phone battery lasted as long as my partner’s stories.
- My phone battery is like an unhappy marriage – it starts fully charged, progressively loses power, and then suddenly dies.
- My phone battery life is about as reliable as dice rolled by a three-year-old.
- I spilled coffee on my laptop and now the battery won’t charge, just like how I avoid responsibilities.
- Car batteries – for when you need a jump, but not the fun kind.
- My phone battery runs out faster than Usain Bolt at full sprint.
Best Battery Jokes
21. I was changing the batteries in my TV remote the other day when I accidentally put them in backwards. You should’ve seen the look on my face when I realized my mistake.
22. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. I know, that joke was only marginally funny. Sorry, sometimes my humor is a bit dry. I should stop making jokes and just recharge. My creativity is running a bit low at the moment. I don’t have the energy for this right now. Actually, I think I need to go take a nap and get fully charged again. Then I’ll have the power to be really funny!
23. Why do batteries make bad lawyers? Because they’re frequently charged and easily drained!
24. I bought some discount batteries but they died after only a few uses. When I tried to return them, the shopkeeper said, “Sorry, but these batteries aren’t guaranteed for a full charge.”
25. What do you call it when a battery gets too excited? Battery overload! Get it, like sensory overload? Haha, laughs for days over here.
26. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up. Speaking of cracking up, I tried to tell my phone battery a joke but it just gave me a blank stare. Get it, because phone batteries can’t laugh or show emotion? Comedy gold!
27. Did you hear about the electrician who got shocked installing a car battery? He was feeling a little discharged afterwards! Talk about working under high voltage conditions.
28. How many batteries does it take to change a light bulb? Just one – but it has to be fully charged! This joke really lights me up.
29. When does a joke about a dead battery stop being funny? When it runs out of juice! Ha, that one really cracks me up.
30. Why was the battery feeling sad? It was going through a rough patch. Poor thing, maybe it just needed to recharge.
31. Did you hear about the battery that walked into a bar? It went up to the counter and asked for a shot of electricity to get its charge back. The bartender said “Sorry, but we don’t serve your kind here.” So the battery left without making too much of a scene, because it didn’t want to start any trouble.
32. What did the battery say to the battery charger? I really need you tonight! Haha, get it? Because it needed a recharge. Batteries in relationships with chargers, classic comedy.
33. Why do batteries make great writers? Because they have a lot of prose. Get it, like pros and cons but with prose instead? I’d say that pun is positively charged.
34. Did you hear about the psychic battery that could predict the future? It had incredible foresight. Just call it the prognostic cell.
35. What’s a battery’s favorite kind of humor? Dry cell comedy. Get it, dry cell? This joke really gives me a charge.
36. Did you hear about the battery that was a war veteran? It had seen a lot of battery in its lifetime. Poor thing was probably all burnt out.
37. Why was the dead battery kept out of heaven? Because its cell was in hell! Okay, that joke was a bit crude, but I couldn’t resist. Sometimes my sense of humor has poor conductivity.