Batman Puns
1. Why was Batman bad at golf? He was always getting a hole in one!
2. What do you call a criminal who teams up with Batman? A part-nerd in crime fighting.
3. Batman doesn’t use a cellphone, he relies on Bat signals.
4. What’s Batman’s favorite type of candy? Just-ice cream.
5. Batman wants to fight crime internationally. He’s looking for a side-kick from Asia to be Batmaan.
6. Batman keeps a low profile by retreating into his Bat cave. He goes into hiding when his social bat-tery runs out.
7. Batman fired Robin because he was being too cocky. The Dynamic Duo became the Dynamic Uno.
8. Why does Batman wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn’t want to attract any bat-tention while fighting crime.
9. Batman saw a documentary on bats and realized he’s been fighting crime incorrectly this whole time. Now he wants to hang upside down all day and only go out at night.
10. The Batmobile broke down on the side of the road. Luckily Batman was prepared with his Bat-tery jumper cables.
11. Batman likes to listen to music when he works out. His favorite group is the Batstreet Boys.
12. Batman got hungry after a long night of crime fighting. He ordered a bat-burger and bat-fries.
Batman One-Liners
13. I’m Batman. The night is mine.
14. Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot.
15. This city just showed you that it’s full of people ready to believe in good.
16. It’s not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me.
17. I won’t kill you, but I don’t have to save you.
18. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
19. Sometimes the truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve more.
20. Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
21. You can’t hide in the shadows forever.
22. Oh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it.
Best Batman Jokes
23. Why did Batman skip dinner? Because it was date night.
24. What kind of car does Batman drive? A Batmobile!
One night Batman was driving in the Batmobile when he saw Commissioner Gordon being robbed. He jumped out of the car and stopped the robber, saving the day. Gordon asked “How did you get here so fast?” Batman replied “I was just driving the Batmobile.”
25. Why does Batman talk funny? Because he has a dark voice!
Batman always speaks in a deep, gravelly voice to sound more intimidating. But truthfully, the raspy voice is just part of his act to scare criminals – he’s not actually a heavy smoker or anything! The dark voice is just Batman’s attempt to use vocal intimidation as part of his crime-fighting tactics.
26. Why did Batman cross the road? Because his parents weren’t there to!
We all know the tragic backstory – young Bruce Wayne watched his parents murdered in front of him, which led him to become Batman. This dark joke plays off the common “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke formula, but with a sad twist referring to his dead parents.
27. Where does Batman get his supplies? At the bat-store!
Batman has all kinds of high-tech gadgets and weapons that he uses to fight Gotham’s most dangerous villains. He must order batarangs, grappling hooks, smoke bombs, and more from somewhere! While there’s no actual “bat-store,” this joke imagines Batman shopping for all his signature crime-fighting bat-gear at a conveniently named Gotham retailer.
28. What is Batman’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-nana-BATMAN!
This joke humorously references the classic 1960s Batman TV show theme song. In the song, dramatic brass notes go “Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-nana” building up to the chorus shouting “BATMAN!” So of course Batman’s favorite fruit would be a banana – it matches the iconic musical intro.
29. Why does Batman wear a cape? To keep cool!
All those hours of fighting bad guys can make you sweaty! This joke suggests Batman doesn’t just wear a cape for style and disguise purposes, but also as a way to fan himself when he gets too hot doing all that crimefighting and acrobatic jumps across rooftops. A billowing cape can provide a nice breeze!
30. What is Batman’s favorite part about being a superhero? Getting to say “I’m Batman” whenever he introduces himself!
This joke pokes fun at how often Batman announces his name in a dark, gravelly voice. No matter the situation, Batman seizes every opportunity to remind people “I’m Batman!” It’s become his trademark catchphrase when confronting criminals or introducing himself to allies. Batman just really loves saying his own name.
31. How many butlers does it take to serve Batman? One man named Alfred!
Batman’s loyal butler Alfred Pennyworth takes care of everything around the Wayne mansion – cooking meals, doing laundry, and even assisting with the Batcave and technology needs. This joke emphasizes that Batman doesn’t need a whole team of butlers when he has Alfred, who single-handedly serves Batman and keeps his secret identity intact.
32. What is Gotham’s favorite restaurant? Bat and Grille
The perfect eatery for Bat enthusiasts in Gotham City! This restaurant name humorously combines the “Bat” prefix with a diner grill joint. Not only can patrons get bat-shaped burgers and fries, but there’s also a chance Batman himself might stop by since it’s named after him. The Bat and Grille sounds like the hip hangout for superhero fans.
33. Why couldn’t Batman go fishing? Because Robin ate all the worms!
The dynamic duo of Batman and Robin often have lighthearted conflicts like this. Robin let his appetite get the better of him and selfishly ate up all the bait! So there went Batman’s chance to enjoy a relaxing fishing break from fighting crime. This joke portrays the pair’s brotherly bickering in a silly way.
34. Why did Batman wear two pairs of pants when fighting Mr. Freeze? He wanted to put on an extra layer!
Mr. Freeze has freezing ray guns that turn people into human ice cubes. So Batman came prepared to that showdown by layering up so he wouldn’t get turned into a batsicle! This joke implies Batman has to take fashion measures like wearing multiple pants when battling cold-themed villains.
35. Why is Batman always on the nice list? Because he only punches naughty people!
Batman has an ironclad moral code against killing and only takes down dangerous criminals wreaking havoc in Gotham. So naturally this dedication to busting bad guys puts Batman permanently on Santa’s nice list! He might punch villains, but it’s with cause to protect innocent people.
36. Why does Batman bring a bat with him everywhere? For identification purposes!
Batman calls himself the caped crusader, the dark knight, the world’s greatest detective – but never just “Bruce.” If someone forgets he’s Batman, this ever-present bat will remind them! Carrying his trademark animal is an easy way for Batman to announce his superhero status even when he’s not wearing the cape and cowl.
37. Why did Batman do so well in school? Because he was very studious!
There’s much more to Batman than just physical strength and crimefighting skills. He’s actually incredibly book smart thanks to hitting the books as a student. Behind that intimidating, brooding personality, Batman is actually a total nerd when it comes to school lessons! His intelligence is one of his greatest weapons against evil.
38. What is Batman’s least favorite laundry day? When he has to wash just tights!
Batman’s outfit involves plenty of custom-made gear like his utility belt, armor plating, gloves, cape and of course the infamous mask with pointy ears. But at the end of the day, the tights are just spandex leggings – probably not the most comfortable or easy thing to keep clean! This joke imagines Batman grumbling when it’s time to scrub his super-suit tights.
39. How does Batman prefer his steak cooked? Bat-rare!
At Wayne manor, Batman sits down to perfectly cooked filet mignon. A culinary pun, “bat-rare” implies he wants his high-class steaks practically still mooing – charred on the outside but extremely red and raw on the inside. Batman’s idea of a gourmet dinner after a hard night’s work.
40. Why does Batman skip all the Batman movies? Too many spoilers!
Watching Hollywood’s take on his crimefighting career would ruin the plot for Batman. He avoids the films since he already knows how it ends! After all, the movies are based on his real life as Gotham’s guardian. For Batman, movies like “The Dark Knight” or “Batman Begins” would be totally spoiled.
41. What does Batman take to the beach? A bat-towel!
When Batman hits the beach during his rare days off, he packs his custom bat-decorated swim gear. His towel has the iconic bat symbol right on it. Batman is always representing his brand, even on vacation! The bat-towel lets everyone know whose spot that is in the sand.
42. Why did Batman buy a big flatscreen TV? To watch the bat-channel!
How else will Batman watch his favorite TV shows? This joke imagines Batman enjoying a state-of-the-art big screen television specifically to watch the fictional Gotham City bat-channel. It would be the best way to catch daily news reports on the latest criminal antics Batman needs to deal with!
43. How does Batman take his coffee? With no creamer, only black!
Batman takes his coffee just like how he dresses as Batman – pitch black with no other colors. No cream or sugar for the caped crusader! The dark knight prefers straight black coffee, no frills. It perfectly matches his serious, imposing personality.
44. Why did Batman cross the road? To fight The Penguin on the other side!
The Penguin is one of Batman’s trickiest villains who often escapes capture. This joke is a play on the “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke. But instead of just crossing for no reason, Batman always crosses with heroic purpose – to find criminals to take down, like his nemesis Penguin!
45. Where does Batman get costumes for Halloween? He IS the costume!
Batman’s actual full-body batsuit complete with mask and cape is perfect ready-made Halloween costume. This joke suggests that come October 31st, kids can simply dress up as the caped crusader himself rather than looking for a Batman outfit. The real Batman doesn’t need to buy a costume when he already wears one!
46. What lost item did Batman find hardest to replace? His bat-mittens!
The crimefighter admits he was very attached to those cozy bat-mittens Alfred got him last Christmas. They were irreplaceable! This silly joke imagines Batman gets sentimentally attached to the silliest bat-themed objects, like special mittens with bat symbols all over them.
47. Why can’t Batman tell a lie? Because Bruce Wayne’s mother taught him to be honest!
Batman always tells the truth – his moral code prevents him from lying, no matter what. This joke attributes Batman’s honesty to his mother Martha Wayne and her moral upbringing. While Batman might hide facts about his secret identity, he never tells outright lies thanks to the good values she instilled in him!
Thanks for reading! Here’s hoping this list of Batman jokes brought some laughs!