Artist Puns
- What kind of art does a firefighter make? Hose paintings.
- Why was the sculptor good at karate? He knew conCrete moves.
- How do you make an art thief give back what they stole? Draw a gun on them.
- Why did the painter get fired from the fruit stand? He couldn’t draw berries.
- My friend got kicked out of art school for eating his supplies. He said they told him no more colored pencils.
- Did you hear about the angry painter? He flew off the handle.
- What do you call it when a group of artists share an apartment? A studio apartment.
- Why are painters bad at keeping secrets? They spill the tea.
- What do you call a painter who only paints doors? An impasto artist.
- My friend said she saw a painter use mayonnaise instead of paint. I said, “That’s a condiment!”
Artist One-Liners
- I took an art class but couldn’t draw any conclusions.
- Artists are known for thinking outside the box but working inside the frame.
- I asked an artist to draw me like one of his French girls. He told me to go pose by a baguette.
- Don’t trust artists who trace. They’re sketchy.
- Quitting art school was a stroke of genius.
- Artists see the world differently than the rest of us. But that doesn’t mean their version is correct.
- I was going to tell an art joke, but I didn’t have the guts to draw it out.
- Artists are so difficult to motivate. You have to inspire them.
- I took my painting to an art show, but they wouldn’t accept it because I’m not very Van Gogh at this.
- Being an artist requires thinking outside the box, not living in one.
Best Artist Jokes
21. An amateur artist decided to paint a landscape. He set up his easel by a lake and started working. Before long, a crowd of people gathered around to watch him.
“That tree has no leaves on it – it’s not even the right season for a bare tree!” one person commented. The artist ignored him and kept painting.
Another observer chimed in. “That’s not how the reflections look in the water. You’ve got it all wrong.” The artist continued, unperturbed.
Finally someone said, “That’s the ugliest painting I’ve ever seen!” The artist turned around with a smile. “Ah, there’s my art critic.”
22. A tourist was visiting an art gallery when he stopped by one particular painting. “This is nice, but I really like the framed painting next to it better,” he remarked.
“Sir,” the nearby docent said gently, “that’s a window.”
23. An artist had been working on a large painting for weeks. Finally, he announced it was complete and invited his friends for the big reveal.
When the curtain lifted, the painting was just a solid white canvas. The artist nodded with satisfaction as everyone stared in confusion. “I call it ‘Empty Canvas,’” he proclaimed.
His friends all looked at each other, bewildered. Finally one of them spoke up timidly. “Where’s the art?”
The artist smiled smugly. “Ah, that’s the beauty of it.”
24. An art collector bought a new painting and invited his friends over to show it off. As he dramatically unveiled the canvas, one of the guests gasped.
“What’s wrong with it?” the collector demanded, whirling around to look.
“I’m no expert, but I believe it’s upside down,” his friend said gingerly.
The collector let out an exasperated sigh. “I just paid $100,000 for this masterpiece, and now you’re telling me the gallery hung it the wrong way?”
25. A local art gallery was hosting an abstract art exhibit. Eager to seem knowledgeable, a man stopped in front of the first painting he saw. Staring intently at the chaotic splashes of color, he nodded thoughtfully.
Just then, the janitor walked by pushing a broom. “Well?” the man asked imperiously. “What do you think?”
The janitor glanced at the canvas. “Looks like someone spilled a whole lot of paint to me.”
“Hmph,” the man huffed. “Some people just don’t understand art.”
26. An art student was painting a picture of a guy sitting on a park bench. She wanted to capture the man’s loneliness and solitude. The next day, she showed it to her professor.
He studied it carefully. “You have real talent,” he commented, “but there’s just one small thing…”
“What is it?” the student asked anxiously.
“The man needs to be sitting on the bench, not standing next to it.”
27. The curator at a famous art gallery was giving a tour to a group. She stopped in front of an abstract painting. “This work was created by one of the most brilliant artistic minds of the century,” she said reverently. “The way the colors and shapes evoke such deep emotion…truly ahead of its time.”
She moved on to the next painting, which featured some black squiggly lines on a white background. “This lesser-known work was created by the artist when he was only 3 years old,” she explained.
One tourist raised his hand. “Sorry, which one was the masterpiece again?”
28. An artist decided to paint his three cats. He worked hard trying to bring their personalities to life on the canvas. When he finished, he showed the painting to his wife.
“This looks amazing!” she exclaimed. “You’ve captured Mittens’ curiosity, Felix’s playfulness, and …wait, which one is Socks again?”
The artist pointed to an indistinct brown blob in the corner of the painting. “There he is.”
“Ah I see him now!” his wife nodded encouragingly. “Socks was…always so…still.”
29. The local art gallery was hosting a competition for upcoming artists. On the day of judgment, the judges carefully inspected each entry.
When they came to a simple pencil sketch of fruit in a bowl, one judge scoffed. “This looks like a child drew it. The proportions are all wrong, it lacks any artistic style, and the shading is atrocious.”
“On the contrary,” another judge said, “I think the negligent craftsmanship shows that the artist sees beyond the confinement of technical skill to capture the true essence of the soul.”
The first judge rolled his eyes. “It’s a drawing of fruit, Karen.”
30. A famous art forger managed to sneak one of his replica paintings into a prestigious gallery exhibition. He attended on opening night, eager to see if the experts would notice it wasn’t authentic.
One prominent art critic spent a long time studying the fake piece. “Interesting,” he mused. “I’m really quite torn. The brush strokes suggest it’s a forgery, but the use of color says otherwise.”
Unable to contain himself, the forger stepped forward and pointed at the painting. “I’ll be honest, that’s 100% fake.”
The critic smiled smugly. “Aha, that proves it must be real! I knew at once it was an original.”
Artist Puns
- What do you call a rowdy painter? A rebel without a brush.
- What’s an artist’s favorite type of transportation? A van Gogh.
- Why do artists make great scientists? They excel at drawing conclusions.
- My friend couldn’t afford art school so she just drew her own conclutions.
- What did the negligent painter say to the wall? “One more coat and I’m finished!”
- Why don’t artists like having conversations? It distracts them from their draw-ings.
- Did you hear about the new sushi restaurant run by artists? Critics say it has great decor but the rolls aren’t very creative.
- What instrument does an artist play? The easel-io.
- The wedding photographer was struggling to get the bride and groom to smile. Finally, the best man shouted, “Make like an artist and draw them in!”
- Did you hear about the vampire who decided to paint portraits? He claims it’s draining but he actually finds it captivating.
Artist One-Liners
- My attempts to paint trees always end up looking branchless.
- I entered my artwork into a competition but it didn’t win any of the draw-ings.
- Being an artist seems fun but it’s actually a lot of work. Like any job, it has its drawbacks.
- I tried to sell my artwork but didn’t get many bids. Now I’m drawing a blank on what to do next.
- I was going to tell you a joke about art, but never mind. I don’t want to draw you into anything.
- I would tell you an art joke but it needs more workshopping before it’s ready for the big reveal.
- I’m thinking of a career change to become an artist, but I struggle to picture myself drawing.
- Couldn’t make it as an artist. Now I just draw welfare checks.
- Quit my office job to pursue art full time. My friends said I made a drawing decision.
- Told my parents I wanted to major in fine arts. They said I needed to make more concrete plans for my future.
Best Artist Jokes
51. A renowned art collector bought a new painting and invited his sophisticated friends over to show it off. He pulled the curtain dramatically to reveal the artwork.
“It’s just a blue canvas,” one confused friend said. “I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t,” the collector huffed. “Let me explain it to you peasants. The artist painted the entire canvas blue as a metaphor for the vast and unknowable mystery of the sea.”
Just then, the collector’s butler leaned in and whispered something in his ear.
“What do you mean the painter delivered the wrong canvas?” the collector sputtered.
52. An amateur artist was painting a landscape. “What do you think?” he asked a man passing by.
The man glanced at the messy splashes of color. “Looks like someone threw paint at the canvas while blindfolded,” he snorted.
Just then, the local art gallery owner walked up. The artist turned to him excitedly. “How would you describe my painting?”
The owner studied it for a minute. “I’d say it’s an innovative abstract piece that challenges the viewer to reject traditional notions of beauty and meaning in art.”
“That’s what I was going for!” the pleased artist said.
53. A tourist visited the Louvre in Paris. As he wandered through the famous museum, one massive painting caught his attention.
“Excuse me,” he asked an employee. “What is this artwork called?”
“That is the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci,” the worker replied.
The tourist studied it for a few more minutes before shaking his head. “Nah, it doesn’t look like a Mona Lisa to me.”
54. An art appraiser stopped by an estate sale and spotted some paintings. Eager to make a deal, he pulled the homeowner aside. “I’d be willing to pay top dollar for anything painted by a famous artist,” he said smoothly.
“Really?” the owner replied. “Well, we found a bunch of old paintings in the attic. Pretty sure this one was painted by Bob.”
The appraiser squinted at the amateurish landscape. “Bob who?”
“Oh, I don’t know his last name. But Bob was the previous owner who lived here.”
55. A museum curator was leading an art appreciation class. She stopped them in front of a large abstract canvas that was just a blank white square. “Now,” she said, “does anyone want to take a stab at interpreting the deeper meaning behind this piece?”
One student raised her hand hesitantly. “It symbolizes the futility of mankind’s search for purpose in the void of our meaningless existence?”
The curator shook her head. “No, that’s just where we’re projecting the PowerPoint slides.”
Artist Puns
- Did you hear about the new restaurant run by artists? The food is creative but the service is sketchy.
- Why are crayons poor dancers? They can’t stay within the lines.
- My friend got in trouble for eating the art supplies, but I gotta draw the line somewhere.
- What did the sidewalk say to the artist? Don’t draw on me!
- Why don’t scientists trust artists? Too many crafty assumptions.
- I tried to become an abstract artist but wasn’t very good at thinking outside the box.
- Did you hear about the angry artist? He had a major stroke.
- I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it’s tearable.
- The wedding photographer was struggling to get the couple to smile. Finally, the best man yelled, “Draw them in!”
- What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese.
Artist One-Liners
- I’m better at drawing unemployment checks than drawing conclusions.
- Wanted to be an artist, but the creative life wasn’t all it was drawn up to be.
- People say my art is offensive. But I’m just trying to draw attention to important issues.
- Quit art school because the assignments were too sketchy.
- Tried to sell my art online but didn’t get many hits. Guess I need to draw more traffic to my work.
- Thought I could make it as an artist but couldn’t draw that conclusion.
- I wanted to be an artist when I grew up, but I could never figure out what to draw on next.
- Went to art school for creative writing but dropped out when I saw the huge syllabus.
- Tried stand up comedy about being an artist but none of the jokes drew laughs.
- Couldn’t make a living as an artist. Now I just draw stick figures to pass time.
Best Artist Jokes
71. An aspiring artist saved up to rent a booth at the local art fair. He sat waiting all morning but not a single person stopped to look at his paintings.
Finally, a man glanced over from the next booth. “Having any luck?” he asked kindly.
The artist shook his head morosely. “No one even looks twice at my art.”
“Well, to be honest, your work lacks movement and energy,” the man noted. “The colors are drab, the brush strokes predictable. Frankly, it’s lifeless.”
The artist turned red with anger. “How dare you criticize my work when yours is no better!” he exploded, gesturing at the other booth.
It was empty except for a sign advertising mini-donuts.
72. A famous art critic was giving a lecture about interpreting meaning in modern art. “This orange shape represents the ephemeral beauty of a sunset,” he said, pointing at one abstract painting. “And the juxtaposition of blue and yellow evokes the turbulent awakening of emotions.”
At the end, he asked if there were any questions. A woman raised her hand. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m confused. To me, these all look like just colors and shapes with no coherent meaning at all.”
The critic stroked his chin thoughtfully.
“Ah yes, I see your point,” he mused. “Interpreting art can be highly subjective.”
73. The Louvre museum in Paris announced a huge upcoming exhibition featuring artworks done by monkeys. Intrigued, a local artist went on opening day. He
