What do you call an alligator that does math? An allegator.
Why don’t alligators like flowers? They reptiles!
Why are alligators never late? They have a croc-odile.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
How does an alligator style his hair? With a croc-odile comb.
Why do alligators make good shoes? Because they’re reptile leather.
What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An investi-gator.
How do alligators communicate? With croc-odile telephones.
What do you call a happy alligator? A glad-he-ate-her.
Why don’t alligators like fast food? They can’t catch it.
What do you call an alligator that does taxes? A Fintigator.
What do you call an alligator who loves music? An Allegro-cator.
What do you call an alligator who directs an orchestra? A Conducktor.
What do you call an alligator that lives in Egypt? A Pharaohdile.
Alligator One-Liners (18)
I took my alligator to the vet and he said, “I don’t do reptile work.”
I saw an alligator at the clothing store; he was looking for croctails.
My friend got bit by an alligator and said, “Man, that snaps”
I saw an alligator by the river wearing high heels and asked, “What are those, crocks?”
Did you hear about the alligator who went to college? He studied to be a crocologist.
I saw an alligator at the airport with three suitcases. I guess that’s gator luggage.
Did you hear about the alligator chef? He specialized in crockpot cuisine.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
Did you hear about the alligator who joined a band? He played the crocodrums.
Did you know alligators can live up to 100 years? It must be because their food is always pre-chewed.
What do you call an alligator that does magic tricks? An allegator.
My friend got chased by an alligator near the lake, I guess he didn’t lake it.
I saw an alligator at the gas station filling up his crock tank.
Did you hear about the alligator who went to law school? Now he’s a liti-gator.
What do you call an alligator that does your taxes? An allegator.
I saw an alligator at the park pushing kids on the swings. That’s a weird thing to insti-gator.
Did you hear about the alligator who opened his own business? His first day was a huge success, he must be an entre-prenator.
My friend called on the phone and said an alligator took his chicken nuggets. All I could say was, “That snacks.”
Best Alligator Jokes (72)
My friend saw an alligator sun tanning on the beach and said, “Hey you gatta wear sunscreen!” The alligator replied, “No thanks, I got natural croc-aidan!”
Last night I dreamed an alligator was chasing me at the mall, but then I remembered alligators don’t go to malls because they never have enough gatorade on hand.
I entered my pet alligator into a science fair. All the judges said he was too reptile-y for first place.
Did you hear about the alligator who went to work at the restaurant? On his first day a customer yelled at him and he said, “Hey don’t get snappy with me!”
Why don’t alligators tell jokes about other alligators? Because they don’t want to spread crock-odile gossip.
My friend got scared by an alligator at the zoo and screamed “It’s going to bite me!” I said, “Calm down, you’re just being crock-o-phobic.”
I saw an alligator crying at the bus stop this morning. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I missed my bus by a croc-odile tear.”
What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An Investi-gator.
My friend saw an alligator at the clothing store trying on jackets. She said to the alligator, “Don’t buy that, it doesn’t match your crocks!”
What do you call an alligator that sneaks into the movie theater? A croc-odile dundee.
Did you hear about the alligator who went to culinary school? His favorite dish was croc-pot roast with a gator-ade reduction.
Why did the alligator cross the road? To get to the other swamp.
How do you know if an alligator is under your bed at night? You feel his reptile carpet.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An Investi-gator.
What do you get when you cross a detective with an alligator? An investi-gator.
Why don’t alligators run marathons? Because they can only do short sprints.
Did you hear about the alligator who went to the eye doctor? Turns out he had reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an alligator who does magic tricks? An allegator.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? They prefer to keep meals and laughter separate.
What do you call an alligator wearing a GPS device? A Navi-gator.
Why did the alligator get suspended from school? For reptilian behavior.
What do you call an alligator that does your taxes? An allegator.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An Investi-gator.
Why don’t alligators make good dancers? They have two left feet.
What do you call an alligator who likes to party? An alli-gator.
Why did the alligator buy new shoes? His old ones were too reptile.
Why don’t alligators like parking tickets? They don’t want to get snapped.
Why was the alligator late to work? He got stuck in gator traffic.
What’s an alligator’s favorite snack? Gator-aid and chicken.
Why did the alligator cross the road? To eat the chicken on the other side.
How do alligators communicate? With cell phones, they use gator-to-gator calls.
What do you call an alligator that solves mysteries? An investi-gator.
Why did the alligator cross the road? To get to the appetizer on the other side.
What do you call an alligator who does magic? An allegator.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
Did you hear about the alligator who went to work at the restaurant? On his first day a customer yelled at him and he said, “Hey don’t get snappy with me!”
What do you call an alligator that sneaks into the movie theater? A crock-odile Dundee.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An Investi-gator.
Why did the alligator get kicked out of the restaurant? He kept asking for gator-aid.
What’s an alligator’s favorite fruit? Pears – because they can eat the whole thing in one bite!
How do you know if there’s an alligator in your fridge? There’s reptile leftovers inside.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An Investi-gator.
Why don’t alligators run marathons? Because they can only do short sprints.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks into the movie theater? A crock-odile dundee.
Why did the alligator get kicked out of the restaurant? For making too many snappy remarks.
What do you call a happy alligator? A glad he ate her.
Why don’t alligators tell jokes while they eat? Because they like to keep meals and laughter separate.
