Zombie Puns What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fry? A brain wok. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. What do you call a zombie magician? A necro-mancer. How does a zombie prepare his food? He grave-robes it. Why do zombies make good gardeners? They’re great at dead-heading. What do you …
Random Jokes
Time Puns 1. I tried to explain time travel to my friend, but it went over his head. 2. My watch got mad at me when I said it was behind the times. 3. I entered a contest for watches, but I lost. I guess I didn’t have the time. 4. I was going to …
Table Puns 1. I heard two tables got married last weekend. The reception was lovely but the wedding was just so-so. 2. My friend was bragging about his new glass table, but I could see right through it. 3. Did you hear about the angry table who flipped out on his owner? His behavior was …
Gingerbread Puns 1. What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg shorter than the other? A gimpy gingerbread! 2. Why was the gingerbread man sad? He was feeling crumbly. 3. What do you call a gingerbread man in the summer? A melted mess. 4. Why does Santa like gingerbread houses so much? Because …
Fig Puns I wanted to make a fig pie but couldn’t find the right fig-ures. The fig fell out of the tree. It was an unripe fig-ment of my imagination. My fig tree wasn’t growing well so I gave it some fig-tilizer. The fig washer wasn’t working. It needed a new fig-ter. I entered my …
Armadillo Puns What do you call an armadillo that got run over by a car? Road-a-dillo! Why don’t armadillos make good pets? They’re too hard to leash and collar-dillo. Why did the armadillo cross the road? To get to the shell station. What do you call an armadillo wearing a tutu? A ballerina-dillo. Why don’t …
Chairs + Puns (10) What do you call a chair that’s afraid of heights? An acro-phobic! Why was the chair embarrassed? It saw the table’s legs! Why are chairs always so positive? They have such uplifting seats! What did the dad chair say to the baby chair? You’ve grown up stool fast! Did you hear …
Bagel Puns (20) 1. I knead to tell you some bagel puns to get a rise out of you. 2. What did the bagel say when it was feeling down? I’m feeling holey today. 3. Two bagels walk into a bakery. One was a-salted. 4. That bagel has a lot of crust acting so rude! …
Rocket Puns I wanted to be an astronaut, but I didn’t have enough space training. My career launch failed to achieve orbit. Elon Musk said he was going to name the first rocket to Mars after me. I replied, “Don’t launch that compliment prematurely.” The rocket scientists prepared for the launch countdown by getting high …
Succulent Puns 1. What do you call a sleepy succulent? A nap-tus! 2. Why was the succulent plant so popular at the party? It was the life of the cactus! 3. How does a succulent stay connected? Through its wifi-ber! 4. What did the succulent say when it was time for bed? Aloe vera tired! …