James Bond Puns (10) 1. I was feeling a little under the weather, so I drank some martinis and now I’m feeling shaken, not stirred! 2. Did you hear about the new James Bond movie set in Italy? It’s called From Russia with Lasagna. 3. Why does James Bond eat so many eggs? Because he …
Random Jokes
Feather Puns 1. I bought some new pillows stuffed with feathers, but they turned out to be a downer. 2. My friend got angry when I put a feather in his hat. I guess I ruffled his feathers. 3. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the pillow factory? He was caught …
Porcupine Puns 1. I wanted to give my porcupine a hug, but I was worried he would be a little prickly about it. 2. My friend got quills stuck in his hand after trying to pet a porcupine. I told him he should have known better than to poke that bear! 3. I saw a …
Monkeys Puns (12) 1. What do you call a monkey who loves bananas? A chimp-off-the-old-block. 2. Why was the gorilla fired from the banana factory? He went ape and caused too much chaos. 3. Where do monkeys go for laughs? The baboonery comedy club. 4. Why don’t monkeys make good coffee? They always monkey around. …
Yoda Puns 1. What do you call a snack made by Yoda? Yodibles. 2. Why was Yoda afraid of the number seven? Because six, seven ate! 3. What did Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4K? HDMI, I look. 4. How does Yoda like his sandwiches? On Dagobread with Hamayonnaise. 5. What does …
Lego Puns What do you call a Lego brick that takes all your money? A robble. Why was the Lego man sent to jail? He was caught with some illegal blocks. How do Legos get clean? They take a block bath. Why can’t you trust Lego pirates? They’re always trying to steal your bricks. What …
Princess Puns (15) 1. I wanted to make a joke about a princess, but the execution was a little off. 2. The princess was feeling down, so her friends tried to picker-upper. 3. The princess entered a beauty contest and was crowned Miss Demeanor. 4. The princess started dating a jester and everyone said it …
Purple Puns (12) What do you call an eggplant that ran a marathon? A plum pooped! Why was the grape feeling blue? It was lacking a little red and had too much purple! How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it! What do you call a sleeping eggplant? An auber-gin! How do you organize a …
Bean Puns 1. I wanted to grow a vegetable garden, but all I could manage were some string beans. 2. My friend got angry when I accidently spilled beans all over his floor. But don’t worry, no beans were harmed. 3. I entered my pet bean in a beauty pageant. Sadly, she didn’t win. I …
Knitting Puns 1. I wanted to make a sweater, but I lost my knit wit. 2. I was going to make a scarf, but I ran out of yarn-ergy. 3. My knitting skills are so bad, everything I make ends up in knots. 4. I tried to teach my friend to knit, but she just …